Meet Stacey Robbins

Today we’d like to introduce you to Stacey Robbins.

So, before we jump into specific questions about the business, why don’t you give us some details about you and your story.
When people ask me what I do, I tell them, “I’m a Renaissance woman who leads an Unconventional Life.” It took me a few years to come to the conclusion that I was that and not schizophrenic for doing the variety of things that I do — that my life as an author, musician, certified coach, yogini, and homeschooling mom — who leads retreats in Italy — didn’t actually mean I was too many things, it meant that I was inspired. And it’s not that I’m crazy for doing life in an unexpected way.

I think I tried hard to fit in molds that society tells you that you should, but when circumstances and life experiences turn you on your ear, you tend to see things from a different angle. At least I did. Whether it was the health issue that inspired me to turn off all but two of our breakers for 30 days (which led to 4 years) for our “Indoor Camping Experiment” which received world-wide attention… Or it’s the time our family dealt with the hard circumstances of: a bullying issue, a lost job, and an injury that left my other kiddo in a wheelchair — all in a matter of months — and instead of us muscling through, I sold half of what we had, stored the rest, and with zero dollars in our savings account, took off for an 8 month book tour, leading workshops for my readers across the US before we bought one-way tickets to Europe so that we could go on a Magical, Healing Adventure… Or any of the other seemingly crazy things we’ve done…  just think that sometimes, when life changes, it’s inviting you to change your life.

I believe in that. In risking adventure. In taking the less-traveled path for the bigger purpose of re-connecting with my soul. Then, I write books or songs or coach people through life, in order to help them do the same. That’s how I live as a Renaissance woman, in this Unconventional Life. My story starts off as the first-born daughter, of the first-born son in an Italian American family in New Jersey. I was supposed to be a boy, according to all the cultural expectations so, my grandmother came to the hospital in mourning clothes, with a black lace veil over her face, included. The pictures are funny — with her standing over me with her arms behind her back like I had cooties.

She was a great woman who loved me a lot…It just took a while to reconcile with the idea that I was not what she expected. Had I only known the foreshadowing of that moment in other places in my life… Oy vey.

Growing up in NJ meant amazingly beautiful seasons, too much snow, and playing outside any chance I could with the melting pot from my neighborhood. My school was on an old Indian reservation, Zoe had just arrived from Greece, Nina was from India, Melanie was black with cornrows in her hair and a mom who hugged me so tight in her big bosom that I couldn’t breathe, and Elise was Jewish.

We all loved singing songs, watching Schoolhouse Rock, and being with each other. My mother always had a fresh coffee cake from the Jewish bakery on the counter and Sanka coffee ready for unexpected visitors who might stop by, while my dad played the part of the professional musician turned stock market executive turned VP. I was the oldest of three girls and so sensitive. I played the piano, I wrote songs, I loved poetry. I loved people. I felt people. Down to my toes. I felt life deeply. I’d stand in the shower and look for words to sing so, I’d pick up the shampoo bottle and start crooning some melody to, “Lather, Rinse, Repeat” like a Karen Carpenter ballad. I was a little different.

As tense as it was growing up because of what was going on between my mom and dad in their relationship, I always got this prevailing message from them: “You can be anything you want to be. You can do anything you want to do.” That message pulsed strong and in competition with the insecurities from our home life and some pretty tragic things that ended up happening to me outside of the home when I was 12 and 13 years old. All of life shapes you and eventually, at some point, you realize your power to use all of it, even the hard parts, to grow you into who you’re here to become. I had a strong sense of that, even at a young age.

When I was 15, I wanted to get a job working at the mall with my girlfriends. My parents said, “No. You have a gift for music. If you want to work before college, find a job that uses your gifts.” Not every kid hears that. So, we went to the country club where my dad played golf and I asked if they needed a pianist. In fact, they did. The other one had quit two weeks ago and I could start that weekend. They paid me $20 an hour and I did that while I was in high school. My music career of writing music, singing, performing, and recording took really good next steps when I moved to Southern California with my dad’s job transfer when I was 18. I got an agent who booked me around and I felt pretty brave – with that weird mix of confidence and insecurity — still playing around in my head. I met my husband, Rock, a sax player and singer at Orange Coast College a month after I moved here. We started dating, and playing music together within a few months and started a business together called Music for Two. We’d play along restaurant row in Newport Beach and up at special engagements throughout LA and up to Northern California.

Beautiful venues for wonderful clients who were celebrating life in business and pleasure, together. We eloped in 1989 while my parents were going through an epic divorce which seemed to split our whole family apart. It was an interesting beginning to my marriage as theirs was ending. Rock and I started also doing music for churches — these hip mega churches that were sprouting up in the late 80’s and early 90’s that played cool music. We were cute and hip and they thought our music was cool, too. We got to travel all over the country and work with amazing artists — whether it was the singers known in the Inspirational Music field like Andrae Crouch, or world-renown artists like Celine Dion — or the scrillion uber-talented, lesser-known brilliant music makers, who didn’t have the spotlight or same bank accounts as the bigger names did.

We weren’t famous, but we were good at what did and had a strong, solid reputation. The mess underneath it all was that our marriage was a mix of great strengths and self-sabotage. It was a messy place to live. I handled that by working more and more, as our music business got to be more in demand. At 27, I hit a wall, physically — I just couldn’t do it anymore. I started getting sick. Symptoms that the doctors couldn’t figure out were concluded to be all in my head. Until they worsened significantly in a year and a half, I was in massive pain and had literally doubled in size, gaining over 100 pounds. I was riddled with fear and couldn’t leave my home except to sleep night after night in the parking lot at Hoag Hospital in my car outside of the ER.

A few doctors told me that I was dying and to get my affairs in order. Some said that if I did live, that I would never have children. I was 27. This brought me inward. I stopped almost everything. All my work. All the money. All the performance. I just had to sit still and ask the God I believed in this question: “If my body is a war with me, where am I not at peace with life?” A big, ol’ hairy existential question that became my journey. Of seeing me and seeing where I was letting fear of rejection run my life. I’d ask myself honest questions like, “If I believe in a God of Love, why am I so afraid?”, “If I believe in a God of joy, why am I so up and down?”, “If I believe in a God of peace, why am I so anxious?”

My theologies weren’t serving me. There I was again, that mix of great gifts and inspiration – combined with spiritual dread. It was like I could provide a bunch of good results in my life, but never really had the joy or the peace. I learned of a fabulous quote during that time, “Joy is peace dancing and peace is joy, resting.” I added that to my pursuit for truth and wisdom. I figured if I took turns pursuing either one — peace or joy — I’d end up with both. That quest was not a quick one, but it was profound. I ended up with a diagnosis called Hashimoto’s — where your body is in attack mode and the thyroid is affected. Which means every cell in your body is affected.

I traveled all over the country and spoke to women all over the world — I began helping them on social media with long posts of research I had done and of the emotional, spiritual and mindset changes I had gone through. I didn’t want anyone to go the long, hard road that I had so, I shared anywhere that someone would listen and benefit. Eventually, the women who were so deeply helped asked me to write a book which I did: “You’re Not Crazy and You’re Not Alone.” It has the longest subtitle in the world but it’s good! “Losing the Victim, Finding Your Sense of Humor, and Learning to Love Yourself through Hashimoto’s.” The stories are hilarious and touching and the information is powerful in the book. Thousands of women all across the world have been helped by it and write me letters almost every day.

I know that most of us want to know how to get skinny again or which magic pill to take — I know that I did at first, too — but for many of us, there’s a bigger conversation we’re in with life…about what we believe about who we are and how we are digesting the events that happen to us. Separating what happened to us from who we are – and not enmeshing those two — is essential. Especially when you’ve had hard things happen. Throughout the process, I eventually got pregnant.

Two amazing boys: Caleb and Seth who are now 15 and 13. They are pure joys to us and have taught us so much. My newest book, “An Unconventional Life: Where Messes and Magic Collide” is a legacy book of the wondrous stories of our life, before and after they entered it.

Has it been a smooth road?
Not smooth, but valuable.

There were some really life-shifting events that altered my course, and helped me find my way back home to me.
One of the places was in my marriage. There was this big mess underneath all the good looks and good talent. We were really a mix of great strengths and self-sabotage. It was a challenging place to live while I was trying to make it seem like everything was fine on the surface.
I handled the stress by working more and more, as our music business got to be more in demand. 

At 27, I hit a wall, physically — I just couldn’t do it anymore. I started getting sick. 
Symptoms that the doctors couldn’t figure out were concluded to be all in my head. Until they worsened significantly in a year and a half. I was in massive pain all throughout my body and had literally doubled in size, gaining over 100 pounds.
I was riddled with fear and couldn’t leave my home except to go to the doctor’s during the day or sleep night after night in my car in the parking lot outside of the local hospital. A few doctors told me that I was dying and to get my affairs in order. Some said that if I did live, that I would never have children.
I was 27. This brought me into a really different conversation with myself.

I stopped almost everything. All my work. All the money. All the performances. I just had to sit still and ask the God I believed in this question: “If my body is at war with me, where am I not at peace with life?” A big, ol’ hairy existential question that became my new journey.  A journey of seeing where I was letting fear of rejection run my life. I’d ask myself honest questions like, 

“If I believe in a God of Love, why am I so afraid?”
“If I believe in a God of joy, why am I so up and down?”
“If I believe in a God of peace, why am I so anxious?”

My theologies weren’t serving me. There I was again, that mix of great gifts and inspiration – combined with spiritual dread. It was like I could provide a bunch of good results in my life, but never really had joy or peace. I learned of a fabulous quote during that time, “Joy is peace dancing, and peace is joy, resting.” I added that to my pursuit for truth and wisdom. I figured if I took turns pursuing either one — peace or joy — I’d end up with both.
That quest was not a quick one, but it was profound one.

I ended up with a diagnosis called Hashimoto’s — where your body is in attack mode against its own thyroid. Since the thyroid is the master gland, it affects every cell in your body. Your heart, your brain, your gut, your nerves, your metabolism…everything. I started researching like crazy — traveling all over the country and speaking to women all over the world about this condition. I began helping them on social media with long posts of research I had done and of the emotional, spiritual, and mindset changes I had gone through. I didn’t want anyone to go the long, hard road that I had — so, I shared anywhere that someone would listen and benefit.

Eventually, the women who were so deeply helped asked me to write a book, which I did: “You’re Not Crazy and You’re Not Alone. Losing the Victim, Finding Your Sense of Humor, and Learning to Love Yourself through Hashimoto’s.” It has the longest subtitle in the world, but it’s good! The stories in the book are hilarious and touching, and the information is powerful. Thousands of woman all across the world have been helped by it and write me letters almost every day.  I know that most of us want to know how to get skinny again or know which magic pill to take — I wanted that at first, too. But for many of us, there’s a bigger conversation we’re in with life… conversations about what we believe about who we are, and how we are digesting the events that happen to us. Separating “what happened to us” from “who we are” — and not enmeshing those two — is essential. Especially when you’ve had hard things happen in your life.

Throughout the process, I eventually got pregnant. Two amazing boys: Caleb and Seth who are now 15 and 13. They are pure joys to us and have taught us so much.
My newest book, “An Unconventional Life: Where Messes and Magic Collide” is a legacy book of the amazing and wonderful stories of our life, before and after they entered it. So, yeah…to answer your question — it hasn’t been smooth. But the health, marriage, spiritual, and financial challenges that I’ve mentioned all led me to the same questions:

“Do you know you?”
“Do you accept you?”
“Will you do what you’re here to do?”

It’s tempting to live in the small, dis-empowering belief of  “I’m not worthy” But it’s going to rub up against that big, wonderful, self-expressed thing you’re here to do. And those challenges will keep grating against you until you either give up on who you are or you accept who you are.
I accept who I am and that the journey is what makes my life rich and gives me the credibility to walk others into that space of self-acceptance and peace.

We’d love to hear more about your business.
My Renaissance Life includes me writing my books, coaching my clients, leading Italian retreats, and training select students in their musical pursuits.  As a writer, I am a storyteller who tells her story — and I don’t hide anything in the process. Anyone can see a “before” and “after” picture and say, “Wow.” But the real magic is in hearing the journey of how someone got from Point A to Point B. I love that part.

The thing that I specialize in as a coach is:

Making the seemingly impossible, possible…
Making the dream, a reality.
Making the hard circumstance, valuable. 
Making the risk, an adventure.

I do that by supporting you in seeing how truly, unbelievably amazing you are. How capable you are. How rich and powerful you are.

You are not broken, needing to be fixed. 
You are whole and looking for illumination on that wholeness. 

We look at your life through the lens of the wonder of you.

That you are the alchemist. 
You are the dreammaker.
You are the guru.

I am most proud that my life and spiritual practices have led me to the kind of self-credibility that says, “I trust me.” And because of that, I can confidently say, “You can trust me. And with that trust, I’m going to reintroduce you, to trusting you.”

My new favorite thing is leading Italian retreats. I’m absolutely in love with Italy — it’s my heritage and my passion! I invite women away, to risk the adventure of leaving their comfort zone and entering their soul space — getting in touch with who they are, along with other amazing women —  by being in a stunning villa, with a private driver, personal chef, and a week filled with yoga, meditation, art, energy healing, rich conversations, and private tours to nearby villages…along with a lot of gelato and wine, just to make it all really groovy, Italian-style.  I’m so excited for the two retreats I’m leading this year: One for the City Girl in Florence in May and one for the Country Girl in Southern Tuscany in October.

Has luck played a meaningful role in your life and business?
I’m not sure about good luck or bad luck, per se… because I’m not sure about the randomness of luck or of life. It speaks to me more, this idea that we’re co-creating our life. That perhaps there’s some mix of Divine intention that is going on and we get to be part of being the Divine Intenders of what we want life to be… and that gets interrupted or tripped up by what we believe life should be or what we think we’re deserving of. My lifework is about living by inspiration and clearing the path of what doesn’t serve that inspiration or trips it up. My kids and I were talking in the car recently and I asked them, “What’s your superpower?” My 13-year-old said, “That my inspiration is created by me and I’m always in charge of it.” To know that, at his age, is a gift he’s giving himself every day because he’s not waiting on inspiration or luck, he knows he’s in charge of creating it or not. That’s power and to feel that, is powerful.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.staceyrobbins.com
• Phone: 714-712-0852
• Email: staceyrobbinspr@gmail.com
• Instagram: https://instagram.com/lovestaceyrobbins
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/staceyrobbins
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/staceyrobbins

Image Credit:
Jessi Bass
Vienna Hill

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