Meet Arielle Caputo on the West Side

Today we’d like to introduce you to Arielle Caputo.

Arielle, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
Why do we feel that we can only listen to someone who’s been through shit? That if unless they had been through some real stuff that they don’t know what they are talking about?

How much of my story do I need to tell you an order for you to believe what I am saying and deem it as important enough that anyone would listen and implement in their life? 

Think about a crazy story that you’ve heard; you usually stand there and go wow that’s intense, that’s crazy I can’t believe they went through that. And then, you walk away and carry-on doing exactly what you were doing before. Telling someone an intense story doesn’t always change or benefit their life.

I’m not a spiritual fluffy go lucky person all the time I still occasional swear, I still have down days, and days where I cry. I’d like to call myself one of the real ones; not someone who is putting on a front 24/7 acting like because they practice spirituality that everything is rainbows and unicorns.

I’m going to warn you, nothing in this article is blind blowing or life-changing. It’s just a few incremental steps that you can put in place in your life to create vast change and point you in the direction that you want to be in.

Jumping into my story now, there was a time in my life I hated mirrors. I hated myself. I felt I was not sexy, nor beautiful. I hid from EVERY mirror including car and building windows; avoiding reflections at all costs. I had also completely forgotten how to smile. I asked myself- when was the last time you Arielle were truly happy? Or when was the last time you truly had a fit of laughter I couldn’t remember. I had no idea. And the mere thought of this brought tears to my eyes. How did I get here? Who did this to me? Why do I feel so incredibly lonely when I live in town that has a major traffic problem? You cross the street in Hollywood and you’re nearly bumping into people. How is it possible that there are sooooo many people here, yet I feel so incredibly lonely?

One day I had been out running errands, and I’m one of those girls that when I cry I turn into Rudolf the red nose reindeer; it’s very obvious when I cry. I got home and sat on my couch and just let it all out. I cried so hard and as I sat there I thought to myself not ONE person said “hey miss are you ok?”

And then this ah ha moment happened. I thought to myself, “oh my goodness how many people did I walk by and didn’t even notice if hey were having a bad day?”

At this point in my life I was incredibly depressed and felt incredibly lonely. And I thought to myself- how many others are also feeling this way right now? I can’t be the only one feeling this way. And this was the light bulb. I decided in that moment to BE the person I was looking for. 

I’ve hit a few rock bottoms. 22, single, and home alone with a new-born. At one point homeless and sleeping on trash bags stuffed with the few clothes I owned. Mapping out every food bank in my area to have food to survive the week.  The full details of this story are irrelevant to the message I want to leave you with today. The point is I have been there. I have been through hell and am not there anymore. So, I want to use this time to help bring some of you who are going through hard times back to your bliss. 

I realized I was here at the ultimate rock bottom – broke, hungry, depressed and incredibly lonely. That this place I was in, just down right sucked and that I wanted to get back to a state of bliss as fast as possible.

So I decided was going to become this person I was looking for. The friend to talk too, the shoulder to lean on, the hand to pull you up. I decided I was going to just test all these theories and sayings, because after all what did I have to lose?! And that if it didn’t work out, at least I tried and I could go back to being miserable. I decided then and there I was going to drench my glass with so much love and positivity that eventually love and positivity HAD to come gushing out. 

We have all heard the sayings: “smile and the world smiles back at you.” Or “pour out love and the love comes back tenfold”, and on and on. Now sure I had every reason to be mad. Every reason to blame someone else for why I was homeless depressed and broke… 

But maybe, I could put that aside for now and just test out these theories. That maybe everything I thought about this life and this universe was wrong. That maybe just maybe I had been the cause or in somewhere contributed to this state of pain and suffering. 

I am going to jump around on my story a bit as all the details aren’t important.

I was in a car when the radiator exploded and I suffered incredibly painful second-degree burns. I once was so broke. I was sleeping in a basement on my black trash bag of clothes praying that bugs wouldn’t crawl on me while I was sleeping. I would walk miles in 100 degree weather to work because if I walked, I could save $1.75 on the bus fair and be able to buy a dollar cheese burger to feed me for the day. I had just had a baby at 22 years old. I went back to work full time 4 days after giving birth because if I wasn’t working then we weren’t eating. Talk about sleep deprivation… (stories for another day) The sad part is I have several more of these types of stories. I was in a super painful jet ski accident and broke both feet and dislocated my pelvis and more. 

But, what if all of these incidents I had brought on? What if all of this was just not that I was merely super unlucky?! What if I had contributed in some way to these unfortunate events?! Were my thoughts, feelings, actions contributing or causing these hardships?

There is a quote – “happiness, peace, fulfillment- the most priceless of human treasures, come to those who do good in the world around them.”

To put it simply – I wanted to feel good again and this state I was in, was not a good place. So I said to myself, let’s put this quote to the test; let me set out to do good. And maybe just maybe, there are people here in LA who feel the same. And maybe there are ones who are worse off than me that I can better their day. 

Little did I know that I was about to go through the loneliest isolating time of my life. See I had all these habits, routines, friends… that were not contributing to these new values and goals; I was going to need to shed a lot.  And what is self-love? I had no clue. This is not something we are taught in school and rarely in the home. I was born and raised in a strict religious upbringing. We’re taught repent to God and he will forgive you of your sins and then you can go to heaven end of story. No where in this does it say anything self love creating a happy life. I love me, I get pedicures and buy new clothes and get my hair done. I care for me … is this self-love? 

What does go inward and heal even mean? Go inward where?! Why would I want to go inside of this person that I despise? I hated myself. I was trying to get away from her. What could this possibly mean?! Let alone hating myself, I didn’t even want to SEE myself. I hated every mirror. Avoided car reflections at all costs. Avoided building windows. Most importantly I had forgotten how to smile.

To bring this full circle, you are going to feel exactly what you fill your glass up with. 

You are feeling sad, down, lonely because you have been pouring sad, down, lonely energy feelings, thoughts, emotions into your glass. If you fill your glass up with happy thoughts and positive emotions, then you will feel that way.

People say oh I’ve tried that, I tried meditating, I tried thinking positive. I tried and it doesn’t work. Your glass is still full of the crappy poor me victim story that you haven’t filled it up enough for it to tip over with the positive feelings. Most of us give up before we have filled it!! Sure you’re pouring your glass up, but the other crap is still in there. If you’re 30 years old, you’ve had 30 years of this story that you have been telling yourself. Do you think it’s all going to go away in one meditation session?

You think yesterday’s shower applies to your body today? Please tell me when the last time deodorant from two days ago worked for you today? It’s a daily choice; it’s a daily conscious way of thinking deciding to fill your glass back up full with good feeling thoughts.

Everything in this universe is in a constant state of change, there literally isn’t a single object that remains in constant state or form, not even a rock. So, if everything is constantly changing and moving and evolving than is it possible that all the small activities, habits, routines, hobbies, jobs, friends and drinks… are contributing to that movement? Everything is pushing you either forwards or backwards; there is no stagnant and there is no middle ground.

Take a self-assessment; act as if a camera was on you 24/7 for one week. Monitor your words, your habits, your activities … if you catch yourself saying something more than three times, make note of it. Is it contributing or preventing you from creating the life you want. Take a look at your life and look at all the habits and routines you have; your TV time, your drinking, the partying, the Instagram scrolling, venting to your girlfriends… All these seem to be isolating irrelevant things, but are they really?

Everything is moving you forwards or backwards; so then if you want change, if you want to feel better, you need to ask yourself what are these things that I’m doing that are either pushing me forwards or backwards?

Now the question becomes- Are you truly ready to feel better? Are you ready to let go of those habits that you’ve created? I ran a suicide and depression support group here in Los Angeles for several years and I have heard every story under the sun. I have had many people ask me what do I do? How do I change? How do I stop feeling this way?

Below are some of the key steps I found that made huge change in my life. Take baby steps. Incorporate new healthy habits and routines that won’t overwhelm you and cause you to give up before you have truly even started. Just like peddling the bicycle, you are building the momentum in the direction you want to be in. Like rolling a snowball down a hill gets bigger and bigger, slowly by doing these suggestions, the momentum of this energy will roll in the direction that you are choosing; therefore, causing you to feel better.

Here are my easy to implement suggestions:

1. Set alarms on your cellphone that go off through-out the day reminding you to re-center. When the alarms go off, don’t hit ignore. Pause and sink into your heart space.

My two alarms are:

1. Say out loud – “I am a love, success, and money magnet. All these things come to me with ease and in abundance.”
2. (This one is a reminder) Place your hand on your heart. Pause, breathe, and visualize loving energy swirling up inside your heart filling it so much that it spills over. 

2. Carve out the first 15 minutes and the last 15 minutes of your day solely for you.

Take control. You set the tone for your day and then into the night. I recommend a meditation or if that is too difficult at the moment, play a mantra that resonates to you. “Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo” is a good one. 

Or use the time to journal; reflect and write down what you are grateful for.  

Or pray. I acknowledge your spiritual vocabulary. Reach out. Ask for your guardians of love and light to assist you. Either way use this time to check in with you. How are feeling? Can you send love to yourself right here?

3. Breathe and most importantly breathe out! Look up breathwork classes near you. We breathe in oxygen yet forget to breathe out the icky stuff.

4. Create positive new hobbies. Yoga, meditation class, breathwork sessions, painting class, sound baths, float tanks, boxing, taekwondo… Anything that requires a centered, positive focus will assist you on your healing journey. Create moments/opportunities that bring you to a focused state; right-here-in-this-moment type of feelings, because right here at this standalone moment you truly are ok.

5. Give back. Spread love. Do a random act of kindness. Volunteer. There is incredible healing through giving. It’s also helpful to be reminded how blessed we truly are and that there is a huge portion of the world living with much less.

We as humans are all seeking a state of bliss, of happiness, and fulfillment. A happy life generally comes from a balanced life: physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Create the person that you would want to befriend; become him/her. This you are absolutely 100% capable of doing. 

Sink in to your heart space. Everything you are looking for is already within. You are not stuck, nor is there anything wrong with you. You are right on track, exactly where you need to be; growing, moving, evolving, learning, and finetuning the beautiful gem that you are. Let this article return you to you Love. 

All is well. 

Xoxo
Arielle

If you had to go back in time and start over, would you have done anything differently?
I would go back and love on Arielle. And nurture and encourage her. Tell her “The Universe loves and supports you, and everything is conspiring in your favor.”

Contact Info:

• Email: ariellecaputo@gmail.com
• Instagram: @ariellecaputo

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