Heather Alexander shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Heather, we’re thrilled to have you with us today. Before we jump into your intro and the heart of the interview, let’s start with a bit of an ice breaker: What is a normal day like for you right now?
I am consistently inconsistent. My days are not all the same. When I wake up, I brush my teeth, wash my face, have my mushroom coffee and vitamins and read messages to see if there’s anything that needs immediate attention. Once I’ve acclimated to the day, I unroll my yoga mat, set up my area and begin yoga, meditation and journaling with a card pull from my tarot deck. I choose one card per day and open up to my spirit guides. I’m very in tune with my nature and respond to the rhythm of my surroundings so I try to keep my area toxic free. Then I make a healthy breakfast, have my 2nd cup of coffee (or tea) and read/write for a few hours. Do some cleaning, answer emails. In the late afternoons if I’m home and don’t have anything pressing, I love to take a nap in my bed. I have no problems sleeping. I consider it needed rejuvenation time
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I always LOVED attention because it meant that people were engaging with me and I with them. As an actor, I just love to play. I mean, who doesn’t want to live in a fantasy for a minute? Dressing up and embodying someone else gives me better understanding of humanity. I get to say and do things that I would not come up with on my own. As a writer, I love to tell stories that inspire profound feelings. Not just entertainment, but, story telling with a moral. I have plenty of my own stories to tell, but I also love collaborating. There are more than 8 billion INDIVIDUALS on this planet. That’s what fascinates me. Each of us in uniquely valuable. We’re all here together and yet so separate. Stories bring us together. There are SO MANY stories to tell and so many ways to tell them. I’m insatiably curious, so there’s not shortage of ideas. I’m always striving to know and do and be better than I was yesterday. No competition necessary. I think we can all win.
Amazing, so let’s take a moment to go back in time. Who saw you clearly before you could see yourself?
My family is very large, religious and conservative. I came as a disruption to their structured lifestyle. People thought I was retarded (this was written on my report card and said by neighbors) because I had difficulties in school and getting along with others. I was outspoken and asked too many questions. One of my sisters said that she could see my magic and she was excited to see who I’d become. She thought I was very powerful because I wouldn’t conform, much like Ayla in Clan of the Cave Bear. She wasn’t highly regarded by the family, but I thought she was incredibly brave and insightful. She brought home a flamboyantly gay friend for dinner. (I could tell my parents didn’t care for him, but I thought he was the most honest man I had ever met. I admired him for living honestly and out loud, unapologetic in his being. He saw my potential too. We giggled and talked about everyone. These were people that the rest of the world mocked and ridiculed for being different. But all I could see was how brilliant and beautiful they were. What would the world be without brave souls that live in truth? BORING!!! I was relieved to be seen as different. I felt more freedom to explore,
What have been the defining wounds of your life—and how have you healed them?
I had a very traumatic childhood. One of my siblings took his own life when I was 9 and it devastated my family. I was neglected from that moment on. I experienced abuse at school, at home and at church. I tried running away but there was nowhere to go. There was no one to trust. So, I read a lot and watched TV, I spent a lot of time in the forest. Thoreau’s woods were my woods. I took care of myself by getting jobs so I could pay my own way. One teacher helped us to open a bank account the year women were given permission to do so. I realized that I had to care for myself because no one else would. I made weekly deposits and learned to manage my own money. I learned to read from watching The Electric Company from Morgan Freeman and Rita Moreno. I learned about physical fitness from Jane Fonda, Richard Simmons and Kathy Smith on morning TV. I learned how to be a strong woman from Diane Keaton (Annie Hall) and Jane Fonda (Barbarella) I learned about humanity from Star Trek and humility with humor and grace from Lucille Ball. These were my root lessons. When I was 45, I learned that I am autistic and suddenly my childhood made so much sense to me. I now embrace my neurodivergence. I don’t make myself do something if it doesn’t feel safe. I don’t spend time with people that I know are committed to my subjecting to them. I live with joy and intention and I connect with people who do the same. I speak up when I see injustice because I believe in ‘good trouble’ and I honestly can’t keep quiet. I’m proud of the adult that I’ve become. Because I am my own person. That’s my success.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. What’s a belief you used to hold tightly but now think was naive or wrong?
I was raised in a very religious household. I got paid for memorizing the bible. When the church needed someone to give the sermon on children’s Sunday, I volunteered. My father helped me prepare by practicing in the church with the passage I was to read. He sat in different parts of the congregation and taught me the value of enunciation and projecting my voice (this was theater training) But when I asked for clarity on the meaning of the words, he told me that I didn’t need to know, I just had to say it. My inner sense of justice wasn’t ok with that. I asked the minister for clarity and he said the same thing. This felt entirely wrong, but I couldn’t tell them that. So, I edited the words. Not be blasphemous, but for clarity of message. No one ever said anything about it. So, I did it every time. That’s when I started to question religion and learned that the people in my church did NOT like those questions (they didn’t believe in ‘there are no stupid questions”. I asked so many questions that my mother got mad and told me to figure it out myself. So, I went to other churches and did some research in the libraries. When I found out how many different types of religion there are in the world, I realized that everyone believes in god, but they all describe “him” differently. Then I realized that god is entirely personal. Meaning, each of us is god. Not to govern over each other but to connect in love. I tried explaining it to my mother, but she thought I was a heathen. It’s natural for all of us to have our own god. It’s unnatural to assert yours over someone else.
Before we go, we’d love to hear your thoughts on some longer-run, legacy type questions. Are you tap dancing to work? Have you been that level of excited at any point in your career? If so, please tell us about those days.
I LOVE MY JOB!! I’m most excited when it’s something new, which is often. As an actor, I’m constantly stepping into someone else’s life. Changing my clothes, hair, makeup, transportation, environment, food…. EVERYTHING. And I do it with a whole bunch of other people who all have the same focus. Energetically speaking, it’s an incredible high. Sometimes, I’m a lead, most often I’m in the background (so far). One time, I was working as a person in the background on the set of the film Elyse. I was waiting in holding for 9 hours. Everyone else had been working but they didn’t need me.(this is the worst experience on a set for me) Until the 9th hour when I was called to “make a cross”. I stood in position off camera, just behind a man. He turned slowly and looked into my eyes. It was Sir Anthony Hopkins!! He extended his hand and said in the most dreamy voice “Hello, I’m Anthony, And you are?” I was gobsmacked! I managed to tell him my name and we proceeded to have the most incredible conversation. This was his wife’s film and he was here supporting her. (swoon). He told me about the artwork on the walls which they used to design the set, was HIS artwork. I love art, so we talked about that. I never did make my cross (or “work” at all) that day, but I made a royal friend. AND, I earned a paycheck. I LOVE MY JOB!
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @Heather Alexander Official
- Facebook: Heather Alexander Official
- Youtube: Heather Alexander Official
Image Credits
Uka Meissner,
