Rising Stars: Meet Paul Marotto

Today we’d like to introduce you to Paul Marotto.

Hi Paul, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?

My name is Paul Marotto. I’m 44 and I’ve lived in and around Philadelphia for most of my life. These days I’m currently composing, recording, mixing, and releasing music all by myself, although I’d rather be making music with other like minded individuals and playing live shows instead.
To take my musical ideas and form them into complete songs alone, I basically record separate tracks of myself playing different instruments (Guitars, Piano, Bass, Drums, Keys and Vocals) and then combine them into one finished product. I do this and mix all the audio in a small but capable basement studio that I built 7 years ago.
Ok. You asked for my story and I have decided to tell you everything as honestly and as open as possible. To tell this story right I’ve had to share some things with you that I’ve done that I’m really not proud of. Some of these experiences were incredibly hard to make it through and still have lasting effects on me and others in my life. I briefly considered not including these experiences but soon realized that I can’t intentionally hide them and then try to show you what my music is about and where and why I am in the place I am today. I also made the decision to use only the first names of the people in my past because a couple of them have become quite famous and I want to respect their privacy. Considering this, let’s dig in shall we.
I believe that I always had music in my blood and I decided to dedicate my life to it pretty early on. As a kid I listened to my Dad play classical music by the likes of Rachmaninov and Chopin on our families “Gigantic” Steinway Upright Grand Piano that still had its original manufacturing date penciled in as 1888. It had fragile chipped ivory keys and was stained almost black. I can still remember my Dad playing carols at Christmas surrounded by the family singing and the first time he showed me Scott Joplin’s unforgettable “Maple Leaf Rag”. The piano was old but with some considerable effort my Dad could get the thing in tune and make it sing precious melodies or make the walls rumble pounding the darkest notes of the lower keys. I was very influenced by everything my Dad would play and you can sometimes hear this in my music today whether it be with a quick flutter of notes on the piano or a whole song with the piano as the main instrument.
My father also had a classical nylon stringed acoustic guitar that I’d start messing around with at about the age of 11. I soon became a fixture at the old Newtown Music Store on Main Street where they sold used copies of Guitar World Magazine. They contained tons of guitar tabs for songs by bands a little before my time. I eventually taught myself how to read guitar tablature and was playing songs by AC/DC and The Cars before I knew it. I should mention that during this time my brother Chris gave to me one of his friends homemade mixtapes which began exposing me to bands like The Pixes, Tears for Fears, and Echo and the Bunnymen. It was freaking AWESOME to hear them for the first time!!!
Soon came highschool. I started telling people I’d played guitar and was quickly introduced to another adolescent musician that went by the name of Andrew. After becoming good friends and writing some parts of songs together it would be Andrew that introduced me to a young drummer wearing a funny hat who had the most infectious smile I ever saw….His name was Dan. It would be Dan that would find us a bassist named Scott who he also went to school with. And that was that….we had a band. We would come to be named “Minus Paul”. I was always showing up late for band practice and one of the guys jokingly said I should be kicked out of the band and the rest of them would call themselves Minus Paul. The name stuck. We would go on to play some small events, battle of the bands, and some dance contests at school. We practiced at another one of Dan’s friends Katie’s house. Her Dad had previously played in a band and graciously let us use his basement as practice space with only one condition…He could strap on an electric guitar every once in a while and jam with us…. usually playing Eric Clapton’s “I Shot The Sheriff”. Dan, Andrew, me, and a bunch of our friends would then go on to build our own studio space from the ground up in an old industrial warehouse where Dan worked by using used lumber and whatever we could get our hands on at the time. There we’d practice, record, and hang out. I have fond memories of one New Years Eve when all of our friends climbed up atop the warehouse to watch the lights of the city below us. Thank God none of us fell through the roof. It was a wonderful time of my life and I just knew for sure we’d all make it in music somehow if we just kept going and tried hard enough. I could feel it …..ya know. I was sure it would happen.
Through the years we all wound up switching bands. Andrew and Dan would start playing in another before moving on to other things. I formed a band called “The Paper Airplane Project” with my close friends Tim, who played bass guitar, and Matt, who played drums at the time.
Ok STOP!!! This is where my life and the lives of my friends took a turn for the worse. This is where things could have went good but went very badly instead. Some of this next stuff is not for the faint of heart but I’m attempting to as honest as possible.
It should be noted that late in my childhood I started having feelings of deep depression and anxiety which would increase over the years. I didn’t know that what I was feeling at the time was not normal, so I never told my family or my friends about it. It wasn’t until sometime later in my life that people began to pick up on it. I would get silent for long periods of time and look worried or lost in intense thought. As time wore on I desperately needed to find help dealing with these negative feelings I was having. I had been hospitalized once or twice and was drinking way too much. And then it happened…
A new drug had been making an appearance around Philly and would soon find its way to a party where my friends and I were.
That night I was inconsolable. I had just found out my girlfriend at the time had cheated on me and I had this horrible image of it in my head that wouldn’t go away. I was only 22 years old or so and of course It felt like the end of the world to me. How was I ever going to be able to deal with what had happened. I decided to start drinking. I had drank a few beers and that’s when I wondered into a bathroom that had about 6 people in it crowded into a circle. In the center was a mirror. In the center of the mirror was a pill. Someone called out who’s next and without hesitation I said “Me”. The pill was crushed, spread into a line, and someone handed me a rolled up bill. I put the bill to my nose and snorted the powder on the mirror, angry at the world and the inner feelings I couldn’t take one more second of. I wasn’t aware of it, but I had just taken an 80mg hit of a painkiller brand name OxyContin. In a few moments, it dissolved away all my depressive symptoms, all my worry, all my pain, and all the horrible things I had been feeling for so long without relief. They were gone and I loved being free of them. All of that in a little greenish blue pill no bigger than a Tic-Tac. This moment would decide how the next 18 years of my life would turn out, and it would not be pretty.
A couple of years would go by. Many of my friends were now using Oxy’s or other painkillers. One night on my way home from work I decided to stop by a bar that my friends and I sometimes frequented. I parked, walked inside, and was pleasantly surprised to find 3 of my good friends, one of them being my bandmate Tim. There was an odd feeling in the air sitting there at the bar that night. One of our friends, fresh out of rehab was drinking a beer and telling us the of horrors of the forced opiate withdraw he was made to experience over the last 30 days. The conversation ran dull and we all began speaking of cleaning up our acts and finally getting off the drugs that were now controlling our lives. It was about time…ya know. We all agreed. I’m tearing up writing this memory down because sadly it was to be the last time I ever saw my good friend and bandmate, Tim alive. He would fall asleep at the wheel later on that night and be killed instantly when his car hit a fence on the side of the road. I would find out the next morning when a friend of mine stopped by my work to tell me of the crash. I was told very bluntly about Tim’s death in an almost “guess what happened last night” fashion. I’ve never……I’ve never felt a feeling like that in my heart before and have never again. A piece of my heart was removed that morning and I instantly knew I’d never get it back….it was permanently gone. In that horrible moment I was taught just how precious life is and just how fucking stupid all my friends and I were for using the drugs that caused this awful thing to happen.
I’d like to tell you that I stopped using drugs after this point in time and that everything got better….it didn’t. Eventually I started running out of money and graduated to a more cheaper alternative to the OxyContin I was using before. An 80mg Oxy could run me as much as $50.00. This was $10.00 for a hit. Only difference…..you shot it with a needle. I would begin
using IV heroin at the age of 24 after being introduced to it by a fellow patient of a heavy pill prescribing doctor. I was now hooked on IV heroin, out of money, with no where to live, on the outs with my family and withdrawing bad. This is where that first pill of Oxy had brought me and I had no one else to blame but myself. I walked down the dimly lit streets of Philadelphia, past dilapidated and burnt down homes where other peoples lives had fallen apart….The Walt Whitman Bridge came into view and I knew what I had to do. It was time to make my final stand, to take my last look upon the world that I had once loved so much as a child. I had ran my race. I was a good kid once, I really was but somehow I’d found my way to this point. My God …..why?
I never wound up jumping off the bridge that night. I had previously somehow survived another suicide attempt before and I think this time I was just too scared or something. Way too close for comfort though. I walked back up to Girard Street and called home on a pay phone. By the grace of God and to my shock and awe my parents picked up the phone…. They were going to drive into the city and pick me up. Despite all the damage I had inflicted on them, all the unbearable sleepless nights they had gone through wondering if I’d be found dead in the morning, the shame I brought upon them, all the money I had stolen, all the anger they’ve must have had reserved for me and everything I through away…. They still came for me that night. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is. I only hope one day I can be like them and show them the love they always showed me.
Fast forward through a lot of pain, unsuccessful rehabs, discovering I had Hep-C, methadone clinics, and a lot of psychiatric meds…..I SLOWLY began the process of putting my life together. Considering I am still being treated with methadone everyday, I haven’t touched a needle or heroin in over 14 years. I saved up some money and bought back all the music equipment I had sold for dope. Then I built a small basement studio where I’m still currently making music about my experience hoping to shed some light on other people’s stories dealing with mental illness and drug addiction.
I really appreciate you letting me tell my story and I understand it’s probably a lot more than you ever bargained for but it’s all true though. Take from it what you may if you should ever find yourself at that point where you just can’t handle life anymore, I can promise you it’s worth it just to hold on a little longer and in time…..things can change. And if you’re lucky, you might even get a second chance to try and fix everything. Thank you for this opportunity.

I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
I have struggled through severe depression and the auditory hallucinations that would lead to me being diagnosed with schizoaffective dissorder 11 years ago. Drug addiction was particularly a very hard problem to solve because when I would use my symptoms would improve instantly. I really struggle with the fact that I never got to the point where I could support myself as a musician. I wish I could have given my parents something to be proud about. I devoted my life to music and I failed in every possible way. I also wish that I was currently in a band. I miss creating music and play shows with other people.

Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
I’ve worked so many different jobs through the years that I can’t even count them. I worked at a Gulf gas station in my younger years. I studied for a year in college at Temple University in Philly and then dropped out. My parents then suggested I try to get a State job and I eventually did. I found employment as a liquor store clerk and would eventually worked my way up to store manager. I worked there for 7 years and was fired for being intoxicated at work the day after I found out my friend Tim had passed in the car accident. I eventually went into trade school where I studied to be an electrician. I worked at several different places as an electrician but I was still addicted and suffering from mental illness and work just became unmanageable.

Before we let you go, we’ve got to ask if you have any advice for those who are just starting out?
Don’t give a shit about what other people think of you and stay true to yourself. If you don’t ant to be a great musician there’s no way around it, you’re going to have to work. very hard at it and practice your craft over and over. I worked very very intensely to figure out how to play different instruments and record and mix them properly to get the absolute best sounding final product. I also worked very hard to dissect how songs, melodies, solos, and chords worked together to form music that people fell in love with. I am actually a little proud of myself for following my dream and sticking with it through some of the most unbearable experiences I have ever had. I never became famous but I’m really good at what I do and I consider myself very lucky to still be doing what I love.

Pricing:

• Most of my songs and videos can be accessed for free

Contact Info:

• Website: https://paulmarotto.bandcamp.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paul.marotto
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/14oRJ72SfxW/
• Youtube: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCjTxQ-zLotVJHdBZruILqnQ
• Other: https://open.spotify.com/artist/71B0GOKZj8nYbfoPSTykw3