Meet Michelle Lupo of Los Angeles/Brooklyn

Today we’d like to introduce you to Michelle Lupo.

Hi Michelle, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
From the time I could hold a pencil, I was drawing, painting (my grandfather, also an artist, taught me), dancing or creating my own characters to make my family laugh. I was truly fearless and would jump at any opportunity to be onstage. Throughout middle school and high school I studied theater and film obsessively, often renting films like The Hours and Chicago from Blockbuster instead of going out with friends. For a while artistic expression became my identity and my armor.

I went on to study acting in the BFA program at Ithaca College, but only stayed in the program until sophomore year. I found the politics and judgment of the program too harsh for my mental health and made the difficult decision to depart the program. I opted instead to study the Meisner technique with a diverse group of students at the William Esper Studio in New York. While all my peers were obtaining degrees, I was working at the Willowbrook Mall then taking the bus into the city for various acting, movement and voice classes. I had never felt so connected and free in my life, though I did harbor some shame for not having finished my degree at that time. I later went on to obtain degrees from Parsons School of Design (graphic design) and Purdue (online degree in Business Administration) to round out my education.

I’m a 36-year-old ~later in life~ queer woman who lives in Brooklyn after years in LA. I bounce back and forth for personal and creative projects. Outside of my creative pursuits, I’ve spent 8+ years as a Business Development Director for a media company, working with travel brands and traveling to events. I love what I do and have found that having the stability of a good income and regular work routine provides a safe space in which I can create. My ultimate goal is to be fully bicoastal and blend my business and creative sides to fund and produce work I care about.

Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
Following graduation from the William Esper Studio where I studied acting in my early 20’s, I started having panic attacks and bouts of depression around my sexuality. For about a decade, I stuffed the feelings away until they resurfaced around age 32. I battled with a strong inner need for control, which my looming sexual identity threatened to uproot. One day as I was navigating this, my incredible therapist said to me, “Your control is a form of self-harm.” It stopped me in my tracks and forced me to realize how cruelly I was treating myself.

I had moved to Los Angeles from the East Coast around that time and felt like I finally had the time and space to gently discover who I was. The next few years were punctuated by a series of dating experiences that would take me on an emotional rollercoaster. My myriad experiences helped break down my false identity and rebuild my sense of self from the ground up. Out of this period of turmoil I was able to regain my creativity and began writing again. Even in my darkest moments, I’m able to find some humor. Wanting to capture the essence of this period; battling for control while trying desperately to connect with people, I wrote Love You, Bi. It’s a mini series that chronicles the life of a queer podcaster, Mel, who recounts her trials and tribulations of dating on her show.

As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
I’m currently producing a series I wrote called Love You, Bi.

Love You, Bi follows Mel, a woman in her mid-30’s navigating the queer dating scene in sunny but lonely Los Angeles. It highlights myriad zany characters not excluding Mel herself, who is often riddled with anxiety and trying to cope in all the wrong ways– including sharing her dating journey publicly on her podcast, Love You, Bi. The podcast helps her navigate the question: “Can I give up control and actually enjoy a romantic relationship?”

This past spring, I fundraised ~$24,000 to produce the series through Seed&Spark. We will shoot the series in LA in January with a team of talented actors and creatives. I love bringing good people together and it will be my first time doing so with my own work as the centerpiece.

Do you have any advice for those looking to network or find a mentor?
I think you find mentors by putting yourself in new environments. You can’t (in my opinion) just seek out a mentor. You have to be actively engaging in the spaces you care about; whether that’s art, activism, sports, etc. and pay attention. Notice who you are drawn to, whose work you admire, whose leadership skills you want to emulate. I’ve found many mentors this way. Jennifer Esposito (@jesposito / @ARebelliousActProductions), Lauren Veloski (@writingisbananas), Erin Brown Thomas (@ErinBrownThomas_Filmmaker) are a few who have provided insight, community and support.

As for networking: Connect not collect. Spend 10-15 minutes with 2-3 people at an event rather than collecting 27 business cards. Try not to lead with “talking shop.” What else do you care about? Personally, I love cooking and trying new restaurants, so I am often able to strike up a conversation about food. Take the pressure off by reminding yourself you can just make a few connections and get to know someone’s energy. You shouldn’t aim to forge a deep connection with one interaction, because genuine relationships take time to cultivate. Be organized and thoughtful in your follow-up’s.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://seedandspark.com/fund/love-you-bi-series
• Instagram: @michellelupo / @LoveYouBiSeries
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michellelupo22/