Meet Annie Miller of Sync Counseling Center, Inc.

Today we’d like to introduce you to Annie Miller.

Annie, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
I feel so grateful that I am always typically up for heading into the office to work with clients. I’ve never had the “sunday scaries” where I dread going into work. Of course, the early years of graduate school and training certainly came with anxieties around being helpful to people and hopefully “knowing” enough to do that. But, the meaningful connections that unfold with clients as they process their life and relationships far outweigh any stressors in my work. It’s a privilege to know someone in the full context of their life. Often, by the time clients are coming to see me, their context is full of pain, suffering, confusion, crisis, sadness, relentless anxiety, trauma, or grief and loss. Showing up in the realness of life is where our therapeutic work begins.

I believe I must join clients in these real and difficult places in order to be truly helpful. I’ve recently been reading “The Book of Alchemy”, by Sulieka Jouhad. She describes one benefit of journaling as a process of remembering our past selves. In fact, she quotes Joan Didion saying, “Remember what it was to be me; that is always the point.” Remembering who we have been and where we’ve come from helps us to understand our present circumstances and where we are going in the future. Of course, Sulieka and Joan are talking about how this relates to the value of journaling, but I got so excited realizing that this was also a beautiful way to describe the healing component of therapy. Sulieka goes on to say, “See what you’ve been through. Look at what you’ve survived.” It’s a beautiful reflection for journaling, and I believe that therapy takes us to the next level of healing when we are able to remember ourselves with another person. Robert Stolorow, a well-known psychoanalyst describes the healing quality of therapy as a relational home for our life experiences and feelings. Working through yourself and your life in the therapy relationship is at the core of healing and growth. In addition, I have education and training which have shaped me, and I have developed a theory that guides me in my work with clients. But first and foremost, my approach is relational. If we think in terms of what creates the most optimal space for healing, I’d answer empathy, curiosity, and clear boundaries as foundational.

My path to becoming a psychotherapist began early in my life. I was born in the wake of a generational history of grief and loss, of young spouses and parents dying well before their time. In this blended family, I was keenly aware of the ways the trauma of grief and loss were playing out in others. While I don’t think I was quite aware yet of its impact on me, I was by nature a sensitive, quiet kid, very good at listening. I developed these skills more as I grew up. Despite the pain and suffering I grew up acknowledging, it was a family full of kindness, love, and lots of fun as well.

By the time college came around, I was eager to spread my wings and have the college experience. One of the first college courses I took was Intro to Psychology. I was so intrigued and curious about the process of human development from birth to death, as well as the family life cycle. This humble start took me on a path to graduating with a degree in Psychology, immediately followed by a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy.

The path seemed clear up until this point, and then I started to notice some resistance within me. At this juncture in my journey, I was feeling less sure if I was truly ready to be a therapist. As I was meeting with clients during my last year of masters courses, I was discovering that I did not know very well how to stay present to my own feelings while I helped others, and that I might need to focus more on my own personal growth before taking the next steps in making a career of helping others.

At this point, I began my own journey of personal therapy, while simultaneously deciding to pause working with clients after I graduated. A bit surprising, right? I graduated with a degree to provide counseling, and then promptly stopped providing counseling. Instead, I delved into regular weekly therapy, and worked in non-psychology related jobs for a little over two years.

There wasn’t a magical moment or event that cued me into returning to the counseling profession. What I do know is that I felt a continued longing to connect with and support people in the deepest parts of their lives. So, I resumed the counseling journey and accrued my hours towards licensure. My father was, and continues to be, a psychoanalyst, and our shared callings shifted us towards opening a counseling center. 15 years later, Sync Counseling Center continues to be my professional home. Sync was born out of a passion to provide the best possible clinical training for therapists while also offering counseling to a diverse population of clients with an emphasis on contemporary relational psychoanalysis.

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
As I reflect on my story to this point in my life and professional career, it has brought me to a focus on living with intention. Life is uncertain and fragile, there are no guarantees. Life rarely stays steady; more like a pendulum that swings between joy and sorrow, grief and gratitude. Brutal at times, yet oh so beautiful.

Starting a non-profit counseling center on the administrative side of things has certainly felt like a pendulum of putting out fires while also sharing many joyful moments of seeing clinicians grow in their practice of helping others. Most recently, I have enjoyed partnering with Door of Hope, a local non-profit that provides vital support to families, women, and children who are without stable housing or who are seeking refuge from family violence. The trainees I supervise are working primarily with children living at one of the different housing centers.

Amidst my own private practice and working at Sync Counseling, I recently had a second diagnosis of breast cancer after being in remission for 2 ½ years. For a time, it felt like this would shatter my world. And in some ways, it did. At least in the way I knew myself and existed in my physical body before the diagnosis. I was told by doctors that I have many treatment options, but that I would have to be in treatment for the rest of my life. Everything about my life at this point halted in a disorienting kind of way. A year and a half later, I’m still trying to make sense of what happened in those early days and weeks after diagnosis.

One thing I do know is that love sustained me. Uncertainty surrounded by love awoke in me a new intention to try to live as fully as I can in the beautiful moments I am given. The pendulum doesn’t stop, and some days are harder than others. Do I wish this awakening would have happened differently? Yes. But this is where I am, and what helps me most is continued movement towards deepening connection with myself and with others.

That’s what I hope to offer, even if in just a small way to the clients I work with: a growing connection to oneself that opens up healing and new possibilities in one’s own life and relationships.

Appreciate you sharing that. What should we know about Sync Counseling Center, Inc.?
Our group of clinicians meets every week to connect and study the latest in contemporary psychoanalysis, along with other modalities and training in the business of running a private practice. We have a membership program for licensed staff who then separately operate their own private practice. Sync offers traineeships and associateships, typically staffing 2-4 trainees and 8-10 associates. Sync currently has offices in Sierra Madre/Pasadena and Burbank/Toluca Lake. Sync clinicians provide counseling services to a diverse range of clients throughout the lifespan: children, adolescents, individuals, couples, families and groups.

Can you talk to us a bit about happiness and what makes you happy?
Date night
My children’s giggles
Quality time with “my people”
Shooting hoops
Being outdoors
A rainy day by the fire with a good book

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.sync.org