Daily Inspiration: Meet Ryan Vinikoor

Today we’d like to introduce you to Ryan Vinikoor.

Hi Ryan, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
Raised in the suburbs of Philadelphia, I always felt like an outsider and felt never quite fit in with the world and people around me. From a very young age and ever since I could remember, I have been highly sensitive, passionate, and imaginative. Music has always been an escape for me since I always felt extremely overwhelmed and misunderstood- music gave me a profound sense of belonging and connection. Skateboarding was another huge part of my life growing up. At the age of eleven I began making video content on YouTube, a few years after the platform was created. Since school was still extremely isolating for me, I created my own world of the all the different things I was passionate about. I was always a natural visionary, creative, and artist, but the environment I grew up in taught me that it was not a realistic path I could take. I became increasingly stressed with school and pleasing everyone around me that I eventually lost myself and what I was really passionate about.

I got involved with a toxic group of people early in high school, that went to an entirely different school than me. I was in desperate search of belonging and ended up dealing with many traumatic experiences and drug abuse starting as young as fourteen years old. By the time I had graduated and started college for the first year, my mental health was so poor I dropped out before I had taken any of my finals that year. I have never felt such isolation in my life, having to overcome my first heart break, chronic health issues, abuse, psychosis and phases of spiritual awakening in such a short amount of time and at such a young age.

I will always remember going for a walk outside during a full moon not too long before I dropped out – I had a deep moment of clarity of what my true life purpose was and that I wanted to pursue that in California. I had taken many family trips there as a child and had a such a deep feeling of connectedness and wholeness that I could never explain. I moved back in with my parents and It took my four years to move there on my own. Those were also the hardest years of me life.

I was still struggling with a massive heartbreak that deeply affected me, and also coming to terms that I was queer. I was continuing to deal with a multitude of metal health issues including depression, schizophrenia, psychosis, OCD, ADHD, and more. Although I was struggling massively, I stated producing hip hop and trap music to my YouTube and became extremely skilled at my craft, dedicating hours to learning FL studio, sound design, and everything in between. My teenage experience was a massive influence to the music I was making at the time, and always will be! I also taught myself how to day trade the stock market at that time, I had discovered a natural passion for business and entrepreneurship as well.

About a year and a half before I moved to California, I had lost my mother to cancer who was the closest person to me at that time. I had barely any friends, and I was not even close with the rest of my family during this time period. I spent most of my time locked away I my room depressed while the rest of the people my age were having the best years of their life in college. Only a week after my mothers passing, I had a severe episode of OCD intrusive thoughts that almost broke me but I kept on holding on every single day. I began truck driving for a bakery and started saving up money for my move, the passion for healing and a new life was the only thing that kept me going every day.

A year and a half later, I had finally saved up enough money to move to California, first living in San Diego County and later in Long Beach. I found a random roommate online and started my new life. I was only twenty two then, and I still had a massive amount of unhealed trauma to work through while still working full time to afford rent. Although I continued to face many severe challenges – more abusive people, mental and physical health issues which later led to financial issues, I learned so much about myself that ultimately changed the way I view and perceive life for the better. I even ended up having to move back in with my family because I was facing addiction problems that caused severe health issues that landed me in the hospital repeatedly and also an intensive outpatient program. After going through so many challenging experiences, I learned to shift my perspective to think “What lesson is the teaching me” or “How can I help others going though this” to make me better and stronger. This perspective changed my entire outlook on life, and my experience living in California really made that clear for me. My goal is to convey the self discovery journey through my art and music, to help people realize how powerful they truly are.

I always had a deep intuitive feeling about the path I wanted to take, even though it looked much different from the people around me, including what my family and society thought was best for me. But you always know what is best for you. I learned that no matter how hard things get, things could always be worse. I would always remind myself of the things I was grateful for- and I still do to this day. Gratitude, determination, and faith that there is light at the end of the tunnel Is what kept me going everyday. Despite how dark things were I followed the burning passion deep within myself to guide me to the life and state of mind I always desired.

The past few years have been a lot more healing and inner work, and my life as an artist and visionary is still just getting started! I am beyond grateful for the people in my life and the connections I have made that inspire me to do better everyday.

We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
Absolutely! Not only the major ones I mentioned prior including heart break, addiction, grief, mental and physical health issues, one of the biggest challenges I faced was having extremely low self worth and surrounding myself with people that treated me poorly because that was all I knew. I never recognized the value within myself and would repeatedly end up in situations and environments that did not serve me. I was willing to put up with almost anything to feel included and loved, and it caused serious road blocks on my path. I think this is something that a lot of people trying to do better for themselves in any way experience, because it is natural for us to be around what is familiar, but it’s usually what’s holding us back the most!

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
Music production is my main specialty! I am extremely proud of the works of art I have produced. I took a long hiatus from the production aspect of things to gain more inspiration from life experience, and plan on releasing the new music I have been working on alongside visual artists I have been collaborating with.

I also have a new found passion of photography mainly on Instagram that I blend with my favorite songs to tell a story. This new passion project was very spontaneous and unexpected one which makes me love it even more because I feel it comes straight from the heart and soul.

A few others things in the arts I have experience with is writing, modeling, and editing, all in alignment with my broader purpose as an artist. Ultimately to act as a clear channel to take what is in the unseen realms and materialize it into the physical world!

Where we are in life is often partly because of others. Who/what else deserves credit for how your story turned out?
Although I have spent most of my path in isolation forging my way though, I always had a solid family that kept me grounded and safe even though there many difficult times as well. I would not have the foundation I have today if it wasn’t for them.

I am so beyond grateful for the few close bestfriends that have been with me since early grade school, they have always been my biggest supporters. I spent many years not as close with them but in the last few years they have honestly saved me in ways I couldn’t have saved myself. They know who they are!

I have also met some amazing mentors and creators online that I have learned so much from and provided me the tools to become the best version of myself. I still continue to learn and grow from their advice regularly and they are a huge part of my motivation and perseverance.

And lastly, I have had a few outstanding therapists that helped me get through the darkest times of my life. There were also a few that completely stopped reaching out to me because of the weight of my issues, but the ones of never gave up on me I am forever grateful for,

Contact Info:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryanvinikoor/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@theryanvin
• Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/ryan-vinikoor

Image Credits
Jasmin @jasmixn (Instagram)
G @mega_kravitz (Instagram)