Today we’d like to introduce you to Jess Mack.
Hi Jess, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
In 1994, as a headstrong and goal-oriented ten-year-old, I wrote this New Year’s Resolutions in my journal: “be more passive.” I was unsuccessful but persistent. Two years later, my resolutions included, “not always speak my mind.” Barely a decade alive as a girl and I was already clear on what society required of me in order to be well-liked and attractive: Stay contained in a tidy little box; don’t ask for too much or be too much. And I was actually attempting to do that, but there were stronger forces at play.
I’ve always been a deeply curious person: a philosopher, seeker, and questioner (of myself and others); a 3am Googler of random facts; a starer and eavesdropper, with a memory like a steel trap. My curiosity has been a catalyst for me to seek experiences that have pushed me to the edge and deepened my understanding of self, others, and the world on physical, emotional, and spiritual levels.
One-way ticket transcontinental moves all alone. Riding on the backs of motorbikes through glittering city lights at 4am. Terrifying close calls thousands of miles from home and anyone you know. Soul crushing heartbreaks and losses. Utter joy and elation. Gift after gift after gift. The experience of becoming a mother. The list goes on.
I don’t have any more an interesting life than anyone else, it’s just that life – when you live it and really feel it – is really a fucking lot! I am interested in life in its entirety – the bright, wonderful stuff and also the hard, shadow-y stuff. Neither can exist without the other and taking them in as a whole is even more enriching. I’m also drawn to the in-betweens– those excruciating, disorienting times when we feel neither here nor there. Those spaces are fertile ground.
I studied philosophy in college and then went to Harvard for a graduate degree in Tibetan Buddhism. I wanted to become a professor. I ended up in New York City, working as an abortion counselor on the weekends and as a storyteller for a global reproductive rights group during the week. I started writing for a global feminist blog, finding my voice and footing as a young woman coming of age in the 2000s.
Three decades after I wrote those deeply earnest New Year’s resolutions, I work as a narrative coach for founders, changemakers, and leaders, helping them connect to, cultivate, and amplify their authentic voice. Your voice isn’t just what you say, it’s who you fundamentally are and how you show up in the world. It’s the most meaningful asset we possess. A big part of my story is accompanying others to connect more deeply and own theirs. We are all trying to get free and be whole.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
All in all, I have a very privileged existence: white, cisgender, able-bodied, middle class with access to higher education, and the list goes on. Still, social systems of patriarchy, white supremacy, capitalism, and the apocalypse in which we’re living now leave no one untouched. We all have an array of demons to reckon with. It’s about seeing them and doing the reckoning. There are a million ways to avoid and distract yourself, that’s always a challenge.
I’ve battled my whole life with feeling like I am too much. I think a lot of women can relate. Curiosity about that – what it really means to “be too much” and how “much” I really am or “should” be – has led me down winding paths of mindfulness meditation, vast spiritual exploration, therapy, strength training, and to creative pursuits like writing and painting.
We often internalize how we’ve been socialized and then take on the work of those demons ourselves. We become our own prison guards through relentlessly harsh inner voices and limiting beliefs. Am I a good mother? Am I a good wife? Am I a good human? Am I worthy and enough?
As I’ve aged, passing 40, and since I’ve become a mother, new wisdom has emerged like fresh water bubbling up from a natural spring deep in the earth. It’s softened my harshness, both internal and external, and ripened my curiosity to live well. Three years ago I made the decision to become sober and, while difficult, that has brought so much ease and abundance into my life. I have pursued deeper study of death, dying, and grief over many years which has also been an immense gift.
You could say death is our greatest obstacle because it is unavoidable and certain. But not all obstacles are bad. The reality of death is core to living fully and well.
My time here is unknown, but certainly limited. My time is deeply valuable (as is yours). My voice is singular (as is yours), and my energy is sacred (as is yours). I’m working to sharpen a discernment that helps steer my focus toward only that which is most in integrity with my purpose. Humor is incredibly important to me. Life, and everything, is a big fucking deal and also not that serious at all. Those big questions of, “am I enough?” aren’t meaningless but there’s also now a big part of me that says, “who cares?”
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
I am a teacher, writer, coach, artist, and space holder. My passion and expertise lie in stewarding people through the grey: unknowns, lack of clarity, overwhelm, grief, and challenging, uncertain times. I support clients in this way along a gradient that ranges from very tactical, high-powered external communications and leadership to very nebulous inner work around grief and meaning-making. I love to move in all those layers.
I’ve spent 20 years working in global health and reproductive rights, leading advocacy and communications efforts to transform broken and unjust systems. This has included speechwriting and advising for top global changemakers, training and mentoring young social justice advocates, and publishing and speaking widely under my own name. Now I offer 1:1 narrative coaching to leaders and inspirers who are struggling to find their voice or the right words to launch something big into the world. They might be switching sectors, facing a huge change, or on the precipice of something mega. They need grounding, clarity, and support to really lock in and articulate. I am a wing woman, hype woman, doula, and mirror for them.
In recent years, my work has become more expansive, now infused and electrified by deeper personal practices of mindfulness, contemplation, and creativity as well as a more honest connection with my own personal experiences. In 2023, after years of infertility and loss, I had a son. As a lifelong reproductive justice advocate, my passion for choice has not changed but my perspective has. That entire experience, and everything leading up to it, transformed me. I began offering ritual spaces for women navigating infertility and loss, or simply aiming to traverse the vast wildness of fertility. There is not enough neutral, supportive, open space for witnessing the full complexity of what we navigate through fertility. I help people going through fertility treatment find embodiment and meaning, or create rituals that support mindfulness and magic in what can seem like never ending, dissociative hardship. I became a miscarriage doula and began studying as a death doula. This has inspired me to hold space for others in sometimes-excruciating but sacred moments.
Another way I do this is through watercolor. I paint commissioned placentas! Yes I do. These are not not literal, but abstract, inspired by the story clients share with me about their fertility journey, pregnancy, or birth. In the way that a placenta — a superhuman organ, totally alien and magical — is comprised of blood, tissue, and DNA from various sources, my paintings of them are representations of your full, complex story – your fuller life leading up to this moment.
In 2021, I took my Buddhist refuge vows though I’d been practicing and teaching Buddhist meditation for more than a decade. I want dharma – wisdom, truth – to feel accessible and not overly-precious. I publish a Substack newsletter called Birdseed which offers humorous, heartfelt little Buddhist perspectives on the fullness of life. My readers are busy people with heart and an appreciate for humor and the unknown. In this same spirit, I lead a monthly garden meditation at Merrihew’s, a local plant nursery in Santa Monica, which is inspired by the seasons and the natural world. We simply sit and co-regulate, breathe with plants. Presence can be that simple and available. That’s why it’s so powerful.
A lot of my work is about guiding people to undo the constrained boxes we find ourself in and in turn, holding space for the full complexity of the human experience. Just simply showing up to it. Whether I’m coaching a client on a keynote speech for thousands, or supporting someone through a deep moment of grief, or leading a meditation, I want them to feel whole, free, and alive. I am so honored to do the work I do, and adore the clients that find me.
Are there any books, apps, podcasts or blogs that help you do your best?
There are apps, books, and Substacks that I love, but I think my best advice is to thin out what you take in, not take in more. I follow very few accounts on Instagram, I’m not on TikTok, X, or Facebook. When I read, I prioritize books on grief, mindfulness, or a really good memoir that help me make sense of life in new ways. Or I go see art. As a curious person I noticed how much other peoples’ stories, lives, and influences were beginning to clog the pipes. If I’m serious about clearing space for presence, processing, and creativity, the best thing I can do is be really mindful of what I take in and hold open space for myself.
Especially as I became a parent, I had to stop judging myself for the articles or books that I should read but don’t. Guzzling information is not going to enrich my life right now. In fact, there was a time in which I did and for me, that was a huge distraction from deeper work I had to do. While I’m not suggesting we hide our head in the sand, I do think the right information will find us.
Pricing:
- $20 for monthly nature-inspired meditation held at sunset in the garden at Merrihew’s Sunset Gardens: Sept 25, Oct 16, + Nov 6 @ 6:30
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.jessmack.com
- Instagram: @fleetwoodjmack; @bardodoula; @plantdharma
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessmack/
- Other: https://birdseed.substack.com/
Image Credits
Alexis Peterson for all portraits; paintings by Jess Mack
