Life & Work with Tyler Skinner

Today we’d like to introduce you to Tyler Skinner.

Hi Tyler, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
I am a true Connector and I believe strongly in the power of community and collaborations and what people can do together. This work I’m doing now with @women.making.waves goes way back to my 20s in college working with women, the LGBTQ community, and other multicultural student groups to make sense of our world and to bring awareness to our unique challenges and experiences.

There, I saw firsthand the power of what women can do when they break down the barriers, start to connect and communicate authentically, and see each other as invaluable assets vs. adversaries. It’s not always easy as we are often conditioned to do the exact opposite. Sometimes, we are faced with obstacles that we don’t even know ourselves we have to overcome in order to move forward and make a difference.

I think an important part of my journey coming from a quintessential middle-class family in Southern California and going to college while being afforded all kinds of privileges, our issues were hidden to the naked eye. My family struggles with mental health, addiction, and many other factors that make it hard for deeper authentic real connection to take place. I guess you could say I was always secretly seeking that because of how I grew up.

When I went to college that was freedom. For the first time I could be myself, explore who I wanted to be, meet people from all walks of life, and really dive into subjects that had profound effect on me while meeting mentors and strong women who stood up for what they believed in and were unapologetic about who they were.

Even with all that empowerment and growing confidence in my own abilities, my childhood trauma would still remain. I had a strong desire to move abroad in order to see the world and explore and when an opportunity came up, I jumped on it only to find myself choosing to be in a relationship in a foreign land, but still riddled with addiction and abuse like I had known so well and grown comfortable with in my youth.

Several years later, and losing myself literally while dimming my light, I found myself pregnant with my first child. She was the catalyst (literally) for me to make a change and to stand up and remind myself of the woman that I once was. I found people that I now know came in my life to support me on that journey to becoming a fighter. I found the courage to leave, knowing that I would be entering a whole new set of struggles as a single mother, but I was willing to take that on because seeing my small child and knowing that she would grow up watching me depressed, anxiety-ridden, fearful, and harmed emotionally wasn’t a risk I was willing to take. I guess you could say that she mattered so much and because I was her mother, I mattered too.

This profound shift lead me to get back into being who I knew I was: a strong, capable, powerful, loving human being who wanted to do good in the world and help others do the same.

I think these experiences that I’ve had really have shaped who I am today, but also have given me perspective and to be able to meet others where they are by giving them permission to think differently and see the world in a different way; know that they aren’t stuck in one place and they don’t have to define themselves by their circumstances.

The next chapter begins. On my entrepreneurial journey I have opened up several different businesses, some that were successful some that were not, but working constantly to figure out the niche and where I wanted to be. I knew I wanted community. I knew I wanted connection. I knew that I wanted to get creative with what I was doing and to have fun on this crazy ride. After all, business is a marathon, not a sprint and you gotta be mentally, physically, and emotionally ready for what comes your way.

When I was able to return back to my college town, it seemed like a beautiful homecoming where it started 20 years prior.I had remarried, new baby girl so now two in tow, and I was determined to focus on my future and more importantly, their future. Being girls in this world, I wanted them to see what imagination, possibility, creativity, beauty, and collaboration looks like. That was my first mission and surprisingly, it didn’t start out as working solely with women.

I created my company Connected Communities in 2018 as a way to foster a deeper connection within the community and enhance fundraising efforts and consult on events that allowed individuals businesses and organizations to connect deeper to themselves within the organization as well as to their surroundings. My goal was to allow them to see opportunities to live connected and create the community they desired and not just call it a space that they occupied daily.

I began to get clients and great referrals and was working with local chambers, film festivals, race events, and other Fortune 1000 companies.

I really enjoyed the work that I was doing and was starting to build a reputation as a go-to connector and a passionate community builder when 2020 came along. This for many was the ultimate pivot. It was a true test of where we were on a global level. For the first time, we had to look at ourselves introspectively at who we were, what we wanted, and how we were going to make changes that were going to ultimately set us on a course in uncharted waters. I am not immune to grief and I grieved at the loss of my business that I worked so hard to create. But, being a positive glass half full kind of gal, I knew I wasn’t starting over completely so I took on the challenge of restructuring my business. This meant getting quiet, creating space and going back to what I know… my roots: working with women. I saw so many women around me locally and globally who felt confused, heartbroken, scared, and worried for themselves and their families. Many had lost their businesses like me or left jobs and I was determined to create a safe space and a platform for them to thrive.

In early 2020 women making waves went from a small program here on the central coast in person to an online series of events, in person monthly retreats, and a space for women from all walks of life to dialogue, connect, and share in an authentic way so that we can inspire one another to take the tiniest ripples that will ultimately lead to the biggest waves 🌊 I built out a team using interns and friends and other women I knew that were talented and determined. I met a few via LinkedIn online and was networking like crazy. We interviewed countless women from all over the globe, brought in fantastic speakers, created leadership programming, and really gave life to this idea. We are building a beautiful community of powerful and passionate people ready to enact change at home, in their careers and in their communities. We have since expanded our team and now offer retreats in new cities coming in 2022 and offer a monthly online membership to connect and learn virtually with women all over the globe through mindfulness, movement, and mingling… I am so proud of this wave of women who are truly dedicated to supporting one another and as we keep adapting and growing, we take those ripples and turn them into waves of change.

That little girl in me who once felt fear and uncertainty or scarcity, now feels fulfilled, clear visions, and abundance because when one of us makes big waves, we all do.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Major struggles would be:

Family life growing up with addict/ abusive parent.

Becoming a single mom and leaving an addiction/ abusive marriage while having to do what I can to make ends meet. Dreams on hold.

Starting several projects and businesses and the fails along the way.

Ideas taken, partnerships dissolved, and lots of rejection.

As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
I lived mostly as a shadow artist. Helping others achieve their goals/ dreams but not doing so for myself. My gift is connection and my talents relate to creative strategies around business and projects/ people. It’s not simply networking, it’s about aligning people to their passions and finding them the right resources to make it all come together. I like to push people out of their comfort zone so that they can feel uncomfortable enough to take risks and show them how that relates to business and life. We have always lived with chaos and uncertainty but it’s how we deal with that that makes the difference and leads to increased impact.

I am proud of this platform and being seen as the leader, I was meant to be. The gift is being able to embrace my creativity and my zany habits while having fun doing it. What I have learned over the years is that the hustle doesn’t have to be a struggle. By working with others and playing (sometimes like kids) we can all learn how to not only get along, but create unique and incredibly imaginative projects that will take our communities and our world to the next level. It’s a new wave and I’m here for the ride.

The crisis has affected us all in different ways. How has it affected you and any important lessons or epiphanies you can share with us?
The lessons that I learned were ones that I’ve always known but never practiced and that is that we need people. We need connection and we need to lean on one another. I learned to trust myself more because I now know who I am and how to do more than I thought I could.

For me, there is opportunity everywhere and I can shy away and be fearful or I can take that step toward into what I want and then ask for help to get there. Most people want to help and they want purpose. It’s reciprocal.

I’m here for all of it.

Pricing:

• $37/month online membership

Contact Info:

• Email: info@women-making-waves.com
• Website: women-making-waves.com
• Instagram: @women.making.waves
• Facebook: Women making waves
• Youtube: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCb6aPNkuPgLAq13y95-iuzQ

Image Credits:
Rosa clark photography on the headshots