Exploring Life & Business with Esther Kibreab aka ASTU of Boyish Records

Today we’d like to introduce you to Esther Kibreab aka ASTU.

Hi Esther, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
I’m ASTU and I make music! I’m an alternative r&b/soul singer, songwriter, director and co-founder of Boyish Records. Music has been my north star since I can remember. I grew up in church in the Bay Area singing and leading worship. I grew up unable to explore and express my sexuality and my passion for music. Essentially, I had separated from my Blackness, my queerness, my body, and my gift. I chose to follow my parents’ vision for my life and moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to attend Rhema College, a seminary college my father and uncle attended in the late ’80s. I became a minister and worship leader and married a youth minister. In 2010, I reached a breaking point in my mental health and came to the realization that I was living someone else’s life. I remember being in the bath in my 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom home with my pup and husband (a minister) in the other room. The bath was my only place of refuge. I asked myself, “What do you want?” I was surprised – I had never even conceptualized the question. I replied, “I want to be happy.” And that was it – I left my life as a minister and wife and moved to Oakland, where I began pursuing my own artistic passions and vision.

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
In leaving my embodiment of the dream of my upbringing and moving to Oakland, CA – a city with a large Black and queer community – I was able to explore myself in a newfound freedom. I slowly stripped the layers of my inherited self-image and came into the expansive and revealing truths of my musical expression, sexuality, gender and Blackness.

It is a challenge for me to find balance in my mental and emotional health while knowing my purpose is to reveal my intimate understanding of life as I experience it. I experienced bi-polar tendencies and clinical depression throughout childhood into adulthood. It wasn’t until the writing and recording of my album ALTARS that I was able to find the courage to come to terms with my mental health and seek professional help. I was diagnosed Bi-polar II and am now finding my way in being successful in the industry without sacrificing my peace and mental health.

At times, I forget the intention of my passions and thereby find myself in a battle for my autonomy amongst a force that demands the pursuit of likability over authenticity, money over passion, and competition over love. I often have to recalibrate to remember that worthiness is not a spectrum but an inherent truth and that from my desire my destiny is born.

As a Black, queer and gender-expansive artist in a binary and violent world ruled by white delusional capitalism, I am learning to surrender to my truths, seek and find overwhelming, intrinsic freedom in them.

Great, so let’s talk business. Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
In order to be successful in the current industry landscape, artists are often required to sacrifice their vision and autonomy. I strive and struggle with understanding and navigating the systems of exploitation in the music industry. As I grow and gain more recognition as an artist, I am continually pursuing the knowledge to educate and guide myself and other artists. In the spirit of my passion for a revolution in an artist-forward community, I co-founded Boyish Records, a community-powered and artist-led company based in Oakland, California with a mission to build sustainable lifestyle pathways for artists. We believe in our rich community of artists and are committed to providing space and opportunity to imagine a radical ecosystem of creative freedom and financial sustainability powered by the community.

Can you talk to us a bit about happiness and what makes you happy?
Creating. When I create, I prefer complete solitude. I always write for myself and it’s extremely intimate. I liken songwriting to finding a path in the dark. I have to feel my way around for the melodies. Songwriting has taught me to love the unknown. I know I’ve arrived when every melody makes me feel a purity of emotion and an overwhelming joy found both in the dark and the light. I can’t stop until they all make me feel that way. My overall process is truly a deep look into myself to face it all in order to express it all in the music.

Contact Info:

• Website: astumusic.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/astu.music/?hl=en
• Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/astumaboo
• Youtube: https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC69c0-_jd6kWCHKsLoa-5Rg
• Other: https://linktr.ee/astumaboo

Image Credits
Lara Kaur Hunter Cates Pejamane