Conversations with Tasha Van Howe

Today we’d like to introduce you to Tasha Van Howe

Hi Tasha , can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
When I was younger, I always had my head in a book or spent time writing stories in school, so when people heard our story and shook their heads in disbelief, saying it sounded like a movie, in the back of my mind, I always thought of writing it. Falling in love with and marrying my high-school sweetheart came so naturally; it never occurred to me that starting our family wouldn’t.
My husband, Jeff, and I have endured such heartbreak, and living through it will always be the most difficult thing I’ve had to do. However, putting words on paper to share was just as painful. I had to relive each moment of sadness I worked so hard to heal from.
You see, we have suffered through years of infertility and loss. It wasn’t until we lost our son, Brodie, shortly after he was born that I truly understood the unfathomable pain of losing a child. Not only did we lose our son, but I had lost the ability to walk due to complications from the epidural and labor. I returned home from the hospital without our son and bound to a wheelchair. It made me question my life and my purpose. But we didn’t give up on having a family. We tried IVF and failed. We tried a donor egg with a surrogate and failed, and we tried a private adoption that ended in a heartbreaking scandal that is still haunting us today. The more challenges that were thrown our way, the more we continued to lean on one another and find hope. But it was also a lonely and confusing place to be. I wanted to connect with others who understood my heart, but talking about it was still too painful. I searched for books that I could relate to. However, I kept hitting a dead end, only finding faith-based books or how-to books with miracle endings.

I would look at my husband working so hard to live with this “new normal” we were in that I would find the will to keep going. After a long year, I slowly began to feel the strength and feeling come back in my legs, filling me with hope that all was not lost. I was slowly pulling myself out from under the dark cloud I had been living under, and decided it was time to share our story with others in hopes of reaching a broad range of readers to provide them with the inspiration and strength never to give up.

It has always been said, “Write the book you want to read,” which is what I did, and it’s called Miss Me Always.

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Smooth road? Not at all! There were so many times that I wanted to give up on having a family of our own and wanted to hit the delete button on the whole story when I was writing it. I can’t tell you how many times I threw myself onto the bed, crying, saying it was just too hard to relive it all. The more I wrote, the more I would think about how hard it has all been. As for having a family, the financial and emotional stress is unparalleled. Once you add in the depression that comes with not being able to accomplish something that comes so naturally for others and the guilt for not being able to give your partner the one thing you thought you could, it creates boulders in the road.

The financial toll it takes on couples to try infertility treatments or adoption is crippling and also shocking. We had to take out loans and have stressful conversations about whether or not we could afford to keep trying or give up.

The testing done for infertility is no walk in the park and is actually quite painful, and then you have the dreaded conversation about how much it is all going to cost. After several days of shots and medication, our egg retrieval was done, only for us; we were told none of our embryos had made it.

There is also this misconception that adoption is easy, and let me tell you, it’s not. There are so many hoops to jump through and invasive questions and interviews that you start to question whether or not you’re going to get approved or if you’re worthy of being a parent.

It is truly an emotional and physical journey that weighs heavy on your soul.

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I draw inspiration for writing and storytelling from my life experiences and the people I meet. Writing has always been a way for me to escape and talk about things others might be afraid to say. I am often known as the voice for people, especially those with a story to tell. I wrote Miss Me Always to connect with people who sit in silence, suffering through depression, guilt, and grief, contemplating their lives. I wrote it for the people who silently cry whenever they see someone they love expanding their family when they can’t. I wrote it for those who have lost their independence and rely on others for help. I also wrote it for anyone who has had to take care of their parent until their dying days, like I did with my mom afflicted with Alzheimer’s.

I am most proud of how hard I fought to bring our son into this world alive. I was told over and over that Brodie would be stillborn and I should give up on him. I held my ground and advocated for myself. I listened to my gut, and because of this, we were able to spend thirty minutes of his precious life together as a family. And after pulling myself out from under the dark cloud, I was able to write a book to inspire others.

What might set me apart from others is my tenacity and my ability to friend the people I meet; I have yet to meet a stranger. And before, during and after the struggles we have had starting a family, my husband and I have thrown benefit parties for a local children’s home. We bring together our friends and family and donate toys during Christmas, back-to-school supplies in the Summer, and gowns to girls in high school who can’t afford to to attend their formals. Through the hardest of times, we have continued to give back and bring joy to children in need.

Can you share something surprising about yourself?
This is a fun question! Besides being a Blockhead and absolutely loving New Kids on the Block, I am also an 80s movie buff and can quote anything from the show Friends. However, there is one thing only my husband knows, so be sure not to tell anyone! I will memorize monologues from TV shows, movies, and Broadway musicals and perform for him. Oh, my poor husband and the things I put him through!

Pricing:

• Hardcover: 27.95
• Paperback: 21.99

Contact Info:

• Website: https://TashaVanHowe.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authorvanhowe/
• Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@authorvanhowe