Inspiring Conversations with Stacia Kato of PFLAG

Today we’d like to introduce you to Stacia Kato.

Hi Stacia, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
I am a second-generation mixed Japanese and Chinese American. Raised in the San Fernando Valley, my career eventually took me around the country, abroad to Japan, and then to work at Toyota, which was headquartered in the South Bay. While at Toyota, I was privileged to participate in the Riordan Leadership Development Program, which trained mid-career professionals in nonprofit board governance. My fortunate fellowship assignment was with A Window Between Worlds (https://awbw.org/), where we use art to transform trauma. I loved their mission, joined the board, and became a trained trauma-informed facilitator of the transformative art workshops.

Simultaneous to my leadership training, my then high school-aged child became suicidal. I leaned heavily on the guidance of organizations like NAMI (nami.org) and therapy. Thank goodness for therapy. My child, assigned male at birth, came out as transgender female. I knew I would love and accept her because I would rather have a live daughter than a dead son. I immediately connected with another gem of a nonprofit that uniquely serves the Asian Pacific Islander LGBTQ+ community and allies, PFLAG San Gabriel Valley API (https://www.sangabrielvalleyapipflag.com/). The gentle stories of love and acceptance from fellow parents of LGBTQ+ loved ones saved us. They had journeyed the path ahead of us, and we could see everything would be alright.

Being a part of the Community and knowing what I know now of how many LGBTQ+ loved ones are not affirmed by their families, I felt a calling to do my part. Lead with Love. I also joined the PFLAG San Gabriel Valley API chapter board to serve fellow parents who need to also know that ‘everything will be alright’. In my interest to bring my whole self to service, I have been elected to be the Southern Pacific Regional Director for PFLAG. This allows me to share my Kaizen or Continuous Improvement professional experience to help the 16 active PFLAG chapters across the Southern California region and possibly to Hawaii.

I now enjoy working for Capital Group, a private investment management firm, after the Toyota HQ moved to Texas – a state not as friendly to our trans loved ones. Professionally, I help improve the way we work. I’m grateful to be able to bring my whole self and lived experience to serve in the community as a trauma-informed workshop facilitator, speaker on Kaizen, and advisor on nonprofit board governance.

We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
Having recently turned 50 years old, I often say that I have earned every silver strand on my head. There is no pain like the possibility of losing your child. There were days when we skipped school (and work) to lay on the floor and just be because that was the only thing that felt safe. To this day, when dark clouds accumulate, I whisper, “Focus on the Basics”. For me, that would be hydrate, nourish, sleep, exercise, smile. Those are the types of Intention Touchstones we would create in our AWBW art workshops, to memorialize for ourselves our whispers when dark clouds accumulate. To close the loop, my daughter is doing better.

Much of my leadership experience comes from when there were dark clouds for AWBW. After joining as a junior board member, there were struggles within leadership that nearly rendered the organization insolvent. Without going into detail, I am happy to say AWBW is healthy and able to amplify healing through hundreds of trained facilitators across the US and abroad (as seen in our Story Portal: https://stories.awbw.org/). As I stepped down from the board chair position a few years ago, I was honored with the Transforming Trauma Award for my role in supporting the organization through significant change.

Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know?
PFLAG ​is the nation’s largest organization dedicated to supporting, educating, and advocating for LGBTQ+ people and those who love them. I serve with PFLAG because when I was in need, not knowing how to support my child who came out as transgender female, they were there for me with hugs and practical information on how to navigate. Thankfully, there are many supportive LGBTQ+ organizations available for LGBTQ+ loved ones and allies. The difference with PFLAG is that they meet parents where they are, in crisis. You may feel a moral dilemma when your child comes out because of your religious upbringing. You may not understand at all because it is not part of your lived experience. We meet you where you are at. We lead with love to help you journey along the path of acceptance and affirmation of your LGBTQ+ loved one because they are worthy of being loved.

Join a support group near you or virtually at PFLAG.org.

Can you talk to us a bit about happiness and what makes you happy?
Joy is in helping others suffer less.

For me, those glimmers usually come in meaningful human interactions. It may be as simple as a hug for a young LGBTQ+ loved one who is not feeling accepted by their own family. It may be sharing my family story and how we are thriving now that helps a mother stop crying since she found out her child was trans four days prior. Or through facilitating an AWBW workshop for young adults, empowering them to use the creative part of their brain to craft and memorialize their goals and dreams in artwork. Or at work as I optimize a business process and make it accessible to more business partners to learn for scale and efficiency. Or best yet, when I lead a team to achieve something wonderful for the community, something much greater than the sum of our parts, as we co-create a collective resource.

Magic happens when we take all that we survived and turn the lessons around to create positive change in the world and help others suffer less.

Image Credits
PFLAG National Facebook page