Life & Work with Natalie Stavola

Today we’d like to introduce you to Natalie Stavola.

Hi Natalie, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
I am a certified life and love coach as well as an actress, writer and producer. I help people overcome wherever they are at in their life and end repeat toxic cycles so they can have the life they have always dreamed of while attracting in and learning how to keep all of the wonderful things life has to offer while getting to be an example of it myself.

I do this because I know what it’s like to come from a crazier family (I say this with love, but… they know…) and go through trauma, trials and constantly feeling like I’m not enough, I don’t deserve anything good. How could I believe otherwise when I was constantly surrounded by people who tore me down? Trauma will do a number on your psyche.

So I got a degree in psychology and communications. I didn’t know what I was doing with it. I actually wanted to be an actress and perform… I have an artist’s soul and I grew up on stage. But that was not allowed in my family… so studying about human behavior and secretly performing different elements of human behavior on the side is what I did instead.

Eventually, I mustered up the courage to admit I was an artist. And my journey to believing in myself and speaking up for myself really began. I had to learn how to navigate healing from abusive relationships, abusive bosses… and my own self-sabotage… alcoholism. As fast as I was trying to run away from my problems, I didn’t realize I had to look inside first. I hit a bottom (thank goodness) and got sober. I am currently as I write this, 5 years and 8 months sober. And I am grateful every single day for this. I got lucky. I got struck sober and granted a new life and a new chance.

After some more healing of my own and learning, I dove back into acting and writing. Telling stories and putting my vulnerability and heart on paper and in front of camera. I’ve gotten to win a few awards and I’ve now been in the film and television industry for over a decade, writing, producing and acting in content that also SHOWS human behavior and the hero’s journey of getting through the difficulties that life can throw at you.

I also get to teach people how to overcome their own pain, shame, trauma and toxic relationships/childhood to have an incredible life and love life, too. I get to be an example of it. I get what it’s like to have absolutely no hope and the only thing that could comfort you was the bottom of the bottle (until that stops working, too). I get to help people believe in themselves and watch their own lives take off… my clients have gotten promotions, awards, gotten married to incredible partners, stood up for themselves, healed from things that would destroy most and turn THAT into their own life purpose.

It’s an incredible gift to get to see WHY we go through what we go through… I get to continue to do this work and step into more self-worth and self-love, while showing others and teaching others how to do the same.

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Nooooo, hahaha. Not a smooth road at all. There’s been tornados, hurricanes, roadblocks, 1 step forward 29 steps back, pain, hahaha everything and anything you can think of…

Some of the biggest struggles were my battles with addiction and alcoholism. I grew up with alcoholism and addiction in the family… and I SWORE I would never be like that! I saw what it did to our family… the only thing I didn’t realize, was this is a disease. And it’s not something you can just wish away… some of us have the disease, some of us don’t. And you’re the last person to figure it out until something happens that shakes you to your core and you get a moment of clarity.

I also struggled with abusive relationships. I chose the wrong partners because of the abuse I’d been through and the trauma, and jumped right into more!

There were some amazing people along the way, too, and those people gave me so much hope that even in my darkest times, because I had the love and support of some incredible people, regardless of how brief those encounters were… those helped me survive and ultimately pick myself back up.

I had a pattern for a long time that was difficult to break before I got sober (and even still battle a little bit of that sabotage today). I would start doing well, life and career would take off… then I’d get involved with a toxic person, or my alcoholism would take hold, and everything would crash down around me again.

At one point I had an INCREDIBLE mentor. Garry Marshall. For the last few years of his life, he taught me producing, writing, and filmmaking. I still have his voicemails on my phone, the belief this legend had in me still brings me to tears. This person who’s created some of the most iconic films and television shows believed in ME?! When he passed away… my addiction took off again. It felt like my life got taken away and yanked from me… however… this bottom was exactly what I needed in order to finally get sober. My life was getting better with Garry as my mentor, yet my alcoholism was getting worse. I had always thought “if I just get the career I want, I’ll be okay. I won’t hate myself. I’ll be able to control my drinking…” Had I become more well-known while he was still alive… I would have just drank more only this time with paparazzi around and potentially could have hurt myself or others. I know now why things happened exactly the way they did. And I’m grateful for that.

I miss Garry every day. I still hear his voice in my head (and the hilarious comments he’d make). I still have that belief, love and support and I get to continue this journey because of that.

Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I am an actress and dating coach.

I specialize in overcoming trauma, pain and obstacles and teaching and showing others how to do the same. Whether it’s through coaching or on the screen.

I’m not sure how many other actress/ dating and life coaches there are out there lol. So that might set me apart alone. However, it’s my personality and ability to relate to anyone. I’ve gotten to travel for film releases in other countries where people connected to my character so deeply they told me they had realizations in their own lives. (This touches my heart the most… that I can perform a piece of work, slam poetry, acting piece… and it moves people to create a positive change or a deeper level of healing in their own life.)

I’ve also gotten to coach over 1,000 people all over the world.

Some of my biggest accomplishments are getting awards for best actress and also starting my own company and learning how to believe in myself enough to be on my own. That was so difficult and so scary, but I knew I needed to be able to continue to create and film while also getting to coach on my own time and schedule.

Networking and finding a mentor can have such a positive impact on one’s life and career. Any advice?
Write out everything you’re looking for. If you don’t know how to do that… Write out everything you are NOT looking for! Start there… then write the OPPOSITE. Then you have your list. DO NOT RUSH THIS! The main thing is learning to lower your heart rate… when we’re in fear we can jump the gun and attach to people that will actually CONFIRM our fears (confirmation bias) You want to practice learning how to listen to your intuition so that when the right person comes along, you’ll feel it. You’ll feel the pull.

Also the desperation thing. People can feel that from a mile away. Always go into events/networking groups etc with a grounded energy and a sense of “how can I be of service to this or to this person.” And not “oh wow I wonder what this person can do for me?” NO ONE can make you famous or change your life but YOU. It’s so rare. And if you find someone that says that they can do that… be careful, it comes at a cost and most likely some sort of abuse and manipulation.

YOU have all of the power inside of you to connect to the right people and have an amazing career. It starts from the inside and learning to be of service while also believing in yourself.

Contact Info:

• Website: www.lovecoach247.com
• Instagram: @NatalieStavola
• Facebook: @NatalieStavola
• Linkedin: @nataliestavola
• Youtube: @nataliestavolacoach and @nataliestavolafilm
• Other: imdb.me/nataliestavola 

Image Credits
Anthony Bryce Graham, Gloria El-Achkar