Meet Amy Lee of Musa Mama in Long Beach

Today we’d like to introduce you to Amy Lee.

Amy, let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
It includes being separated from my mom multiple times since infancy, abuse in all kinds of forms-mainly by my biological father when I was in his care, having been to 15 different schools in 2 different countries and multiple different states, being bounced around from family members to strangers and foster care, and then eventually meeting my birth mom while I was in foster care in El Paso, TX 20 years ago.

Fast forward to 2008 and I had just graduated with my BA in Women’s Studies and was about to take off to my homeland on a teaching contract for two years. A cousin who had stayed at my mom’s while attending college here had hooked it up with a job at an English hak-won back in Jeonju and after recruiting my friend to go teach with me, I was beyond excited to see my family I hadn’t seen since 1991. 2 weeks before I was scheduled to fly out, I woke up tired and fatigued and out of it. My then boyfriend (now husband) and I went for a walk to our favorite neighborhood breakfast spot (sup Breadcrumb in HB) and my usual voracious hunger was gone and I couldn’t even take two bites of the tasty breakfast burrito. Feeling a weird haunch, the bf suggested we get a pregnancy test. We walked to CVS right near and bought the pink box/baby fortune teller. I sluggishly walked myself up the stairs and into the en suite bathroom and peed away on the lil stick. I had set up the test on top of the toilet tank and turned to wash my hands in the tub right next to it.

As soon as I turned my head and my eyes met the sturdy piece of plastic, there were 2 VERY STRONG lines glaring at me. I remember the blood just draining completely away. I was supposed to sell my car that day. I was supposed to fly out to DC to see a friend I hadn’t seen in almost ten years (sorry Oralia, I still haven’t gotten my ass over there yet) I was supposed to go back home to see my family I hadn’t seen in SEVENTEEN EFFING YEARS. No, this was NOT happening, I thought, no, no NOO. I walked over to the top of the railing of the stairs, looked down at the bf and said “It says I’m pregnant.” I’ll never forget how sweetly he answered back- “OK honey, whatever you decide, I’ll support it.” I just felt lost and confused and immediately went into thinking that I can’t have the baby. I initially made the call to get the ru487 and made the appointment because I just couldn’t fathom telling my mom, canceling all of my immediate future plans, etc. When I went downstairs to tell the bf that I didn’t want to have the baby, his reply left me a bit speechless. “I’m so sorry that you had to make such a hard decision but I also want you to know that it could’ve been a beautiful opportunity.” WOAH. Up until that very point, I felt very scared and lonely and uncertain.

After I heard him say that, I knew that I wasn’t alone- we were pregnant together and he was taking responsibility. I wasn’t alone. He asked me if I wanted to go on a bike ride to get some fresh air and we rode out together and he furthered solidified my decision to stay. As we were holding hands while riding, he reiterated how he got “this feeling like butterflies in his stomach and chest” when he thinks about a possible family in the future. That pregnancy and birth is what started my personal life’s work in restoring the strength and autonomy of birthing mothers and folks. I have been blessed to work in the Natural/Organic Industry since 2005 (shoutout to Mother’s Market HB where it all began!!) and knew from the beginning that a hospital birth was COMPLETELY out of the question. Having had little to no autonomy since childhood, I was hellbent on making sure I wasn’t going to be in a situation where my voice would get stifled. I started looking into birth centers and midwives and although I was interviewing the most reviewed and talked about midwives, I just couldn’t make a connection with them. This was and is my sentiment: I was about to share the most vulnerable moment of my life with them and excuse the language but if I don’t get the feeling that you’re fucking DOWN, you’re not sharing in this moment.

During my search for the perfect birth plan, I came across an unassisted birthing video on YouTube (ah, good ol youtube) and initially thought “OMG these bitches are CRAZY” then to “I fucking LOVE IT”. I learned about Laura Shanley (pioneering unassisted birthing mama) and pored over every single birth story and video link that I could see on her website. The more I watched and learned, the more I felt my heart saying YES YES YES. I felt so empowered and good knowing that I finally found something that eased and validated how I imagined birth to be; physiological.

Even with all the preparation, you don’t know labor until you’re deep in it. I thankfully had a very supportive partner and 3 chosen friends who were there supporting up until 45 minutes before his birth (the friends intuitively left because they sensed my need for solitude) After having a great talk releasing my fears to my partner, my body went into full active labor mode and our firstborn son was born gently into his daddy’s loving arms. I’ll forever remember and cherish that moment immediately after birth: Holding my baby while I swam in euphoria induced by oxytocin, I remember feeling like I was simultaneously floating out in the ether somewhere. “Welcome” I heard from the unseen faces, “Welcome” I felt the presence of every woman who gave birth before me, welcoming me. Once I tasted that empowering autonomy, I knew I had to share my revelation in keeping traditional birthing knowledge alive. Since then, I’ve given birth unassisted to 4 more of my own, counseled countless birthing folks and have accompanied folks during their labor as a doula and or birth attendant.

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
I find it frustrating that within the birth community, certifications and intellectual knowledge and checklist of how to correctly do birth is valued more than someone’s core experiential knowledge. A considerable amount of doulas and midwives who say they “trust birth” view unassisted birth as dangerous and a liability and unfairly exclude them from discussions (online and in person). If we are to truly provide birthing folks with all available options, how is it that we are not including the option that truly, fully and authentically embraces birth as is?

My five unassisted births served as my main teachers in seeing how physiological birth is. Nothing can be said to me that will have me convinced that birth is completely primal and physiological.

Also, let’s get something straight. *Yes, I believe in hospitals for emergencies. Most births are NOT an emergency*

What else should we know?
Musa in Korean means warrior.
Mama, interestingly, is a word that was used to refer to Kings and Queens, quite akin to the phrase “your highness”.
So the name Musa Mama translates to Warrior Queen or Warrior Mama. When I match up with a client and their family, I am their birth warrior and provide my services as such. I become their advocate/guide/support system and a source of validation and resources during pregnancy, labor, postpartum and beyond. In essence, I am their ride or die.

What sets me apart is definitely my unique skill set and resources I’ve acquired through my life experiences. Some of which include:

– CONVICTION in physiological birth – I have a personal saying that beliefs can be changed in an instant whereas convictions can’t be stirred. Personal experiences of my five unassisted births have served as great teachers in building that unshakable foundation that birth is absolutely physiological.

– Keen Body Intuition –
With every single hug and or massage I’ve been blessed to give, my hands have always traveled to “the spot” that the receiver has been having pain/issues with. It’s something I don’t fully understand and don’t really need to. The greatest compliment and validation came to me when a friend’s father who is recovering from his second stroke specifically asked for me, the only non certified bodyworker, to return to work on him.

– Outstanding physical strength and exceptional resiliency in mental and physical endurance – I’m genuinely strong as an ox and have been blessed with life situations that has built up my endurance to take on challenges with confidence and ease. All of which are very helpful key factors in supporting someone’s birth since labor is, in fact, a marathon and not a race.

– I am absolutely comfortable with discomfort – Maybe it was the years of enduring violent physical abuse from my biological father- fractures, hematomas, concussions, dented bones, numerous bruises- left to heal by myself. Maybe it’s the time that I talked my father out of a murder suicide situation when I was 14 and he was ready to really give up. Maybe it’s the immensely amazing lineage of strong mothers who have come before me, experiencing the deep sorrowful Korean Han while daring to thrive beyond what was expected.

– Traditional Korean Postpartum care – Yes, it absolutely involves Korean food and me making it. Nuff said, no?

– 14 years of Natural/Organic/Holistic Industry knowledge – I’ve been an industry professional for the past 14 years and counting as an educator and sales rep working directly with many respected companies, which my clients greatly benefit from by receiving up to date info and direct access to products and resources in the Natural/Organic world. *Fun fact: I was an educator for Veriditas Botanicals (now known as Pranarom) for 5.5 years and was blessed to have had apprenticed directly under the founder, Melissa Farris. I was given a solid foundation in French Medical Aromatherapy that I still continue to learn about.

– Desire and ability to connect with people-
My nomadic upbringing has instilled in me adaptability, commonality and relatability.
From learning multiple languages as a baby immigrant – gracias a mi niñera de Juarez who helped raise me in El Paso while my parents hustled sportswear and tees at the indoor EP Indoor swapmeet – to living in opposite spectrums of sustainability – hello homelessness as a little one being washed up in a McDonald’s bathroom by my mama to being the foster daughter of Isaac Outland and living at the White Horse Estate in Pasadena in 4th grade – I am most comfortable relating to others from their comfort zone.

Things that I’m most proud of as a company: – Continuing irreplaceable birth knowledge and traditions. – Reinforcing the knowledge that Birth is Physiological. – Not having a website and having met all of my clients through word of mouth- validation that my work speaks for itself. If I’m meant to work with a client, it always flows effortlessly in connection.
– Holding down professions in 2 different industries all the while being a stay/work from home mom and homeschooling five kids.
– Being multilingual. Speaking Korean and English fluently and getting back my groove in Spanish. Puedo hablar español conversacional.

Is there a characteristic or quality that you feel is essential to success?
Flow. Alignment. Ever evolving. Willing to learn.

Contact Info:

• Email: amykahn82@hotmail.com
• Instagram: @musa_mama, @musamama_birth, @musamama82

Image Credit:
@sourcingourlight, @indigemama, @photostoriesbym, @musa_mama

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