Daily Inspiration: Meet Cindy Scharkey

Today we’d like to introduce you to Cindy Scharkey.

Hi Cindy, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
The majority of people I’ve met didn’t receive comprehensive sexual health education. I sure didn’t. I was a fairly naive girl who grew up in a conservative home and community. I don’t remember receiving a whole lot of information or advice outside of the “All Boys Want is to Get in Your Pants” talk from my dad — bless him. Everything else I can recall was related to what not to do: don’t have sex, don’t get pregnant, and don’t entice boys with your body, dress or actions.

As I went through nursing school, I learned about anatomy but not a lot about sexuality. I do have a strong memory from my freshman year, teaching other girls on my dorm room floor about sexual anatomy from my textbook. Funny enough, we could identify the male genitalia better than our own. Oh, we knew we had a uterus, ovaries and a vagina, yes, but what was a vulva and this clitoris thing? Nothing I can recall was ever brought up about our pleasure.

Throughout my over four decades as a nurse, I have repeatedly found myself stunned at the silence and misinformation surrounding women and sex. Time and again, women of all ages tell me they have never, ever talked to anyone about their uncertainty, confusion and frustrations concerning their bodies, sex and pleasure. I became very comfortable talking about these topics. Now, it’s my passion and my platform to break the silence and throw open the doors to all kinds of healthy conversations about sex.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
Sex is still a taboo topic. A lot of people are uncomfortable hearing about bodies, sex and pleasure. People in general tend to shy away from uncomfortable topics. Often it can be hard to reach people because of this.
Shame is the other thing that comes up when we talk about sex. Shame really does a number of people and it hinders us from finding healing and freedom in our sexuality.

Culturally we have been fed the myth that sex is “natural” and not a learnable skill. All of this continues to lead to silence and resistance to getting comprehensive sex education throughout our lifespan.

It can be a rough road gathering people to listen and learn. It’s hard for people to lean into the uncomfortable and we all so different.
My approach is to lead with care, a bit of humor, candor and the facts. I’ve learned along the way that I’m not for everyone – and everyone isn’t for me.

As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
I am a long time nurse and specialize in sexual health. I am known for my science-based education for women as an educator, author, podcaster and speaker. When I talk to groups or do workshops, women know that I care deeply about this area in their lives. Whether they hear me speak from a stage, read my book or listen to me on the podcast – they feel like I’m sitting on the couch with them having a chat about things that matter. It’s no secret that I adore women and want pleasure freedom for all of them. I self identify as a permission giver until women can give it to themselves.

I am most proud of the difference I make in women’s lives when they get the education and confidence they need to find freedom on their sexual wellness journey.

What sets me apart from others is that I don’t offer “5 tips to better sex” but rather help women identify the myths and mistruths that are no longer serving them, give them the correct sex-ed they never got, and hand out permission to express, experience and enjoy their sexuality.

Where do you see things going in the next 5-10 years?
Peri-menopause and menopause are finally “having a moment” — I hope this means more and more women will learn to advocate for themselves and their health. As women get more educated and speak up for what they are experiencing and need, hopefully providers will get the proper education to provide better treatment and options for women in midlife and beyond.

We are finally getting some research done more specific to women’s health. So much of past health research has been on men and specific to men. We still have a long way to go, but I’m delighted to report that there are many smart, amazing women doing research now and it serves all of us to have them leading the way. I interview many of them on the podcast and they give me hope for the future.

Not a trend, but rather a shift in approach to life – I see women owning their pleasure. I see women leaning into embodiment and sensuality. I see them giving themselves permission for pleasure!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.cindyscharkey.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cindyscharkey/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/scharkeycindy/#
• Other: https://open.spotify.com/show/6JxazxhhXOlpPpIwmGnlXE?si=nHlUAc89SziRxev4Tbbeng&utm_source=copy-link