Daily Inspiration: Meet Melissa

Today we’d like to introduce you to Melissa.

Hi Melissa, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
My story begins with my parents, my mother was brought to the U.S. as a child. My grandparents came and went they had plans to make some money and return to their ranch back in La Soledad, Guanajuato. They ended up staying here in the U.S. fast forward my mother began high school. She worked nights with my grandfather at a local K mart as part of a cleaning crew. Now a bit about my dad he came here to the U.S. as a young 15 year old boy, excited to make some money go back home and buy a truck. After sometime in LA with cousins he made his way to the Central Valley, CA, Reno, NV and back to the valley. Along this journey he met people and they taught some him English, he was also eager to learn writing things down starting with food menu’s. When he made it back to the Central Valley of CA he started a job with my grandfather and that is where he met my mother. He was invited to family dinners and they hit it off, so they run off together headed for a job in Reno, NV. They find our my mom is expecting so they decide to head back to the Central Valley, CA where they have some family to lean on during this time. My parents are now 17 years old and its been 9 months, December the 17th of 1996. The day i was born, their lives completely changed. Throughout their marriage there was infidelity, as a child i did not know nor understand what was going on. Until i was in 6th grade they decided to divorced for good. I often thought about because i remember thinking back i wrote about it in one of my classes at the time. Then 7th grade came around and i did not realize it then but i was becoming a product of my environment. The lack of structure in my life at the time, as well as living in “the hood” and what you’re exposed to. God had a plan for me all along even when i couldn’t see it myself i had a lot of learning and unlearning to do. I was raised Catholic and once my parents divorced our attendance declined. The year is now 2013 my sister Esmeralda Yadira Gomez just had her Quinceanera December of 2013. Onto April 2014 my sister was screaming having pain for months and after multiple ER visits she was turned away stating she had a pinched nerve. It got to the point where she could no longer walk, we rushed her to our local family Doctor. He requested an x-ray and told us he could not diagnose but it was not looking good and he would refer us to a specialist at Valley Children’s hospital in Madera. There she was diagnosed with stage 4 Ewing’s sarcoma cancer. I remember getting the call and just feeling defeated all the thoughts racing through your mind. Asking God why her… all the pain she was enduring was so hard to watch. The first year was a whirlwind so many hostpital stays, good days, and horrible ones too. March the 7th of 2015 she had her last day of chemo. May of that year we unexpectedly lost our great grandmother our maternal grandfathers mother. I remember getting the call while in class i was in high school at the time. I left to be with my family, that evening i went with my sister to get my very first tattoo to honor my sister. Yellow sunflowers her favorite, in the shape of a ribbon. While in high school planning for careers was the next step and i honestly had no clue what i wanted to do. One day at my dentist appointment i began thinking i wonder what a dental assisting education entails. One thing i had always been so sure of was that i wanted to be a wife, and mother. The relationship i was in at the time was unhealthy so many red flags that i overlooked. I then graduated high school in June, one month later i began a vocational college to become a registered dental assistant. A year later my great grandfathers health began declining as i was finishing up college. The last day of school was also my great grandfathers burial. The emotions i felt that day were so confusing because i was happy to be done with school but also feeling so much grief loosing my great grandfather. During these years i would drive myself to mass on Sunday’s i would go alone often. I clung to God after so much loss. We then found out my mom was expecting once again, i can only imagine how she felt with loss after loss. Also being by my sisters side through all the cancer pains and hair loss. My sister picked out a prom dress and was so excited to attend but she was not feeling well due to medications and her condition. The date is now June 4th 2016 my baby sister was born. I loved helping my mom take care of her, i would take her to mass with me. Almost anywhere people thought she was mine. I do want to mention throughout these years i was going out every weekend and drinking alcohol to escape essentially. I felt like i was living a double life. I felt the furthest from God & confused but still somehow trusted that his plan was greater. I graduated and went on a lot of solo adventures as well to national parks, lakes, & creeks. October of 2016 my sisters health began to decline after being in remission for 1 year the Doctors let us know she had a few weeks, or months to live. During this time we spent more time together as a family, i started working on my days off i would take my sister to the beach, or we would have girl time at the nail salon. On Thursday nights i would attend a church young adults group their prayers over my family did not go unnoticed everyone there made an impact on my life. It is now May 2017 my sisters health began declining rapidly she was admitted into Valley Children’s hospital. I remember holding her hand telling her i loved her and she tried to speak i got to excited i kept repeating “i love you” Esme. She then rolled her eyes and i was laughing and crying because she heard me and that eye roll was so her. Friends from childhood visited, friends from college and church as well. She passed May 18th 2017. I traveled, studied food and nutrition, and tried to live even though my heart was aching. During this time i worked as an RDA for local rural clinic’s and i enjoyed learning from everyone i got the chance to work with and meet. I went on dates but quickly learned i needed to set boundaries. The year is now 2018 a friend told me about a guy that she knows through her now husband. Yonatan and i exchanged numbers placed a bet on the super bowl his chosen team won so i agreed to a date. We instantly hit it off i remember telling my aunt he’s going to be my husband. Our second date we went to the World Ag expo, third date to a trail in Milerton lake. After this date i felt like things were too good to be true, and moving along too fast. In the age of social media i blocked and unblocked him. I spent that year in a heart posture check season if i wanted to be a wife and mother i had to truly let Jesus take the wheel, i began to self reflect and learn what love truly is… its God. Months flew by he checked in on me unexpectedly always so kind. Towards the end of that year our mutual friends began planning their wedding where i was asked to be the maid of honor and he was to be the best man. The wedding date came January 2019 something about weddings and the love in the air. Since he was my partner for the day we began talking and i wondered what if i just go for it Lord or am i too late. January 15th came around and after reconnecting for a few weeks and attending church together he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and then we began taking trips together to the coast he had a psych interview for his career, i needed CE’s for my license and we explored as well as hike after. He began the CDCR academy in April then graduated and was sent to Susanville, CA. By November 9th we were engaged months flew by he came to visit almost every weekend a total of 6 hours one way. 2020 he put in a transfer closer to the Valley, i also transferred to a bigger town. We began searching for apartments and quickly realized it would cost just as much for a mortgage. A friend of mine has a mother who is a local realtor she helped us during the process. During this time my great grandfather from my grandmother’s side passed away i remember being so heart broken that i could not travel to Mexico at the time. We both continued to work throughout 2020, & found a home by August. September came around we were in our first home in an air mattress and just said “what are we waiting for lets go get married”. The days leading up to September 5th 2020 we called our families to let them know we planned to elope that weekend and they were more than welcome to join us. So we headed for Vegas, it was intimate and the word being preached that day was perfect for us. We continued hiking, exploring with friends, visiting family and making our home a home. Also planning a wedding which would include our families in September of 2021. The month came and went at the end of September i had to voluntarily resign, that was hard. My husband was so supportive and although once again i didn’t know what was next i trusted that God had better plans for me. December i began my job search but this time i would choose a part time job so i could have some type of work life balance. I found a wonderful local job working with little’s in dentistry. February i found out i was pregnant and was SO excited all my hearts desires have been coming to fruition on Gods timing not mine. I began researching all things pregnancy, health, and wellness. Found local chiropractors thanks to social media shout out to Dr. Kate Wong. I learned a lot from her, she connected me with another local chiropractor that was a bit closer Dr. Karl Baune and she also came over to adjust me during my third trimester. I also began hearing birth stories from all the women in my life, my paternal grandmother inspired me. She spoke about her home births and how simple it all was just her and her babies, sometimes her neighbors visited just in time to help her. I truly felt so confident in my body and the way God designed it. I began my search for local midwives many were booked or on sabbatical. I remember telling my husband “we can do this” and he wanted a medical professional to be present should the need arise i respected his concerns and thankfully a local midwife reached out with availability. I joined a home birth Facebook group, where i got to read about so many beautiful births. My midwife was wonderful Alexandra DePastene i loved the in home visits, i had concurrent care with an OB as well. I left those appointments feeling unheard and misunderstood. I remained active throughout my pregnancy i loved working out, riding my bike, and hiking. It is now November 9th 2:30 am my water breaks i speak with my midwife she encourages me to sleep. I sleep on and off till 5:30 am by 8:00 am i step outside to get some sun and stretch. head back in use the birth ball then head to the shower for warm water relief. My midwife arrives i move onto the bed and she asks if i would like to know how dilated i am at this point i needed to know so she says i’m at 9 cm! My thoughts were i can do this they set up the birth pool i got in and my midwife prayed. I am not sure if her or her assistant did hip squeezes but i am so thankful she did. My baby was crowing i felt his head and after it all felt euphoric… i was amazed and so so proud of myself. Most importantly thankful to God for my body, my baby, & my midwife. My sons first year of life there was a lot more learning and growing to do as a wife, mom, daughter, sister and friend. I am thankful for the people i have met throughout my journey, i began searching for a local mom group and all i found was a local home school group so i thought well i am going to go even though my son is 3 months old because we decided we were interested in eventually homeschooling. That way i can learn from them as well as make local mom friends. They welcomed me in and answered my questions, let me know options and requirements in CA. I also joined my churches local moms group and have been attending ever since. So helpful along my motherhood journey, once i became a mom and had the experience i did i became passionate about letting mothers know there are other options. My son turned one and the next month i found out i was pregnant again this time we decided to wait until birth to find out the gender. The months flew by we traveled, hiked and the our 2nd son decided his dads birthday was the day he wanted to join us earth side August 25th 2024. His birth was 2 hours and 30 minutes, my birth team didn’t make it, so my husband helped catch our baby. It was truly unforgettable it happened so fast no time to process. I ask God for the strength to continue and shortly after my baby was born. The best thing about becoming a mother is seeing the bond and love between siblings. Its so hard describe how wonderful motherhood has been. We dedicated our boys to the Lord, continued to travel with them and family. I was about 7 months postpartum fasting social media and praying about becoming a doula. A training that i had been interested in for some time opened up so i decided to join. I completed that learned from so many women with years of wisdom and so i began serving mother’s in a full spectrum capacity. Staring this new journey i met more wonderful women who have encouraged me along the way. The year is now 2026 i joined the Madera county breastfeeding coalition, natural instincts community birth collective, and began hosting the mom walk collective Madera, CA chapter. All while my husband has had back to back work injury’s being in law enforcement. There have been some delays but i trust God will make a way or redirect me. God has blessed us time and time again, and i know this is a season of trials and tribulations. Thank you for taking the time to read about my life.

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
No not at all definitely lot’s of loss, grief, learning and unlearning along the way.

Back to back losses along the way, was a big one for me i went from essentially sharing a room to sleeping alone after the loss of my sister. Contemplating life after loosing my sister… i wanted to give up that year but God’s hand over my life is much stronger.

My husband has only worked 4 days this year due to back to back work injury’s we are leaning on God and trusting his plan.

Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
My name is Melissa Cerna Martinez and i am a Traditional Doula Latina serving families throughout Fresno, Madera, and Merced counties in California’s Central Valley. I support women through pregnancy, birth, and beyond. My approach is rooted in the belief that every woman deserves a compassionate, empowered, and informed experience as she brings life into the world. I walk alongside mother’s during one of the most sacred and transformative times in their lives, offering sisterly emotional support, physical , and educational support.

In addition to birth doula services, i also offer mother blessings, with more supportive offerings coming soon. I have attended a spinning babies course to better support mamas. I am also actively involved in my community as a member of the Madera County Breastfeeding Coalition, As well as a part of Natural Instinct’s Community Birth Collective, and as the host of the Mom Walk Collective Madera chapter.

What i am most proud of is how far God has brought me in this journey of life. I’am honored to support mother’s in ways that may seem small but can create a lasting impact. I am also proud of my children, my husband, and my parents’s, who did their best to raise me and guide me even when i strayed and most likely stressed them out. They raised me with love and strength. They also took me to work with them when i was growing up, my dads work ethic as well he worked after hours to learn and hone his skills in construction.

What set’s me apart is my heart, my intentions, and the care i pour into every family i serve. Did i mention i am bilingual? Which allows me to connect with and support a wider range of mother’s in my community. More than anything i bring my full self quirks and all… my essence into this work that really does not feel like “work”.

Before we let you go, we’ve got to ask if you have any advice for those who are just starting out?
Becoming a doula is truly a meaningful calling, i definitely recommend more women become doulas even if you have not experienced birth yourself. Start with offering to support your sister, aunt, cousin, friend or neighbor. Start small bring over a meal for a postpartum mama, offer to clean her home, wash dishes, and if she wants to shower hold her baby. Most importantly hold her, a hug during this time can go a long way… even a listening ear. If you would like to continue take a training that is suited for you and the type of doula you want to be for the women you want to serve.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://msha.ke/nurturingbymelissa
• Other: nurturingbymelissa@gmail.com

Image Credits
Stephan and Adriana

Black rider studios – Maria and Tony Ruiz