Conversations with Coco Novak

Today we’d like to introduce you to Coco Novak

Hi Coco, thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
Everyone has a life story, and people need connection with others. Sometimes, you might feel like you are the only one experiencing certain challenges in life, and it can be comforting to discover that others have been through similar situations.

In the United States today, there are nearly 13.6 million single parents raising over 21 million children. Single fathers are less common than single mothers, making up 16% of single-parent families. This statistic is staggering. To put it in perspective, almost a quarter of U.S. children under the age of 18 live with one parent and no other adults (23%), which is more than three times the global share of children in similar circumstances (7%) (Source: Pew Research Center).

This is why I decided to write my autobiography and self-help book, ”Single and Too Tired to Mingle: On Relationships – With ourselves, our exes, our kids, and other important beings.” It takes readers through my journey and examines various aspects we all encounter as adults: the carefree pre-parenting era, the time spent raising children with or without partners, and the process of breaking up with those partners. I also reflect on the family dynamics of how we were parented. The book is filled with engaging anecdotes, serious research, and at the end of each chapter, there is a concise self-analysis and self-help section.

The book is intended for parents, reassuring them that they are not alone in their struggles and that everyone faces challenges in life. One of my favorite sayings is: “This too shall pass.”

Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
From my mid-thirties to my mid-forties, my life was incredibly challenging. I was raising two boys while managing a full-time job, navigating the responsibilities of picking them up from daycare, helping with their schoolwork, and more. It felt as though my life was diminishing, and at times, I barely recognized myself. At one point, I realized that my sense of purpose had disappeared – I lost my mojo – and I became concerned that I would never find passion in my life—whether for work, socializing, or simply enjoying life.

Although I always had support from my ex, who would never leave me stranded, I understood that it was expected of me to fend for myself. Fortunately, my boys are great; they are well-behaved and diligent in school, and we have a strong relationship. I believe I am a natural parent, and I have always prioritized the boys. Their mental well-being and trust in me have been important, and in return, they respect me and choose not to misbehave.

Once the older one moved abroad to study and the younger one entered his last year of high school, I began to feel that I was regaining my life. However, I must emphasize that as women, we need our own hobbies, interests, and pursuits outside of our children. Otherwise, we may find ourselves with an empty life once they become independent. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking, “It’s all for the kids.” We, as mothers, also need to be role models, and not having our own lives doesn’t demonstrate that.

Writing my book has been truly cathartic. Overall, I feel fortunate to have amazing people around me—my ex, his family, and my children. My own family is also a source of support, though they are less involved in my daily life, and I write about that as well.

Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
I believe what sets me apart from others is my diverse career path! I’m not sure many people have had as many different lives as I have!

I started out studying farming (parents, where was your guidance?!), then pursued a PhD in Biochemistry and Molecular Biology, researching the genetics of eating disorders, Anorexia and Bulimia nervosa. It was fascinating work, but I didn’t see myself pursuing an academic career. After having my first son, we lived in Zurich for a while. While there, I discovered an amazing baby store and told my partner, “I want to open a baby store.” We returned to Slovenia, and I opened an exclusive baby store that experienced rapid growth, achieving over 100% revenue growth each year. I soon realized I needed an MBA, as I didn’t understand any business terms.

Here’s a funny anecdote: I was deciding whether to pursue a second PhD in Economics or an MBA. I opted first for the PhD. I was invited for an interview. As I walked into the room, I thought, “Hmm, the head of the committee is quite cute.” Then I reminded myself, “Focus, woman! You’re interviewing for a position.” I was accepted into the program but decided against studying that much again, so I declined the offer. However, months later, I ran into that head of the committee at a concert, and we ended up in a relationship. Sadly, my move to London was already in progress, and I moved about six months later. We remain friends and still think highly of each other.

Returning to my career story: after closing my exclusive baby store five years later due to the economic downturn in 2009, I took on various roles, including work with a private pharmaceutical company and a project for a university, until I moved to London to be closer to the children’s dad. I was unhappy with the jobs I had until I discovered I could live out my childhood dream of becoming a tennis player. While I didn’t become a pro (I was well over 40 by then), I became a tennis coach and managed tennis venues. It was the best career move ever, despite everyone around me thinking I was crazy. But when they saw me thriving and finally enjoying my work, they became supportive. I was by far the oldest in my tennis courses, but it was fun! I hung out with 18- and 20-year-olds and successfully became a Level 3 tennis coach, something I never thought possible.

In the meantime, I also wrote my book, *Single, and Too Tired to Mingle*, and started a successful podcast, *The Coco Novak Show*, where I interview interesting people, mostly about relationships. I love it! I would love to host a TV show on the same topic as I find that we all struggle with relationships.

My business partner and I have also set up a network: ‘Moving Women Forward’ – we found that women really struggle with getting lost in life once they become mothers and wives. We as women sometimes fear failure way too much. So, if you are stuck in life – join our network and let’s help each other move forward.

Now, I am preparing for another career change, pursuing something I originally wanted to study but life had other plans. I will soon embark on a law conversion course and hopefully become a solicitor in two years. Exciting times! It will also be difficult and full of challenges, but life is about creating stories and living to the fullest.

Now go and chase YOUR dreams! I’m backing you all the way.

Are there any apps, books, podcasts, blogs or other resources you think our readers should check out?
Books:

I read alot of autobiographies and non fiction books as I find they inspire me most

– Four hour workweek: Tim Farris
– The seven spiritual laws of success: Deepak Chopra
– The upside of distortion: Terence Mauri
– The psychology of money: Morgan Housel
– Champion Thinking: Simon Mundie

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.coconovak.com
• Instagram: coconovak_author
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coconovak.author
• Twitter: coconovak.author
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@CocoNovak
• Yelp: Moving Women Forward: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1031988674907?aff=oddtdtcreator
• Soundcloud: The Coco Novak show. On relationships, squiggly careers, triumphs and lessons in life.
• Other: Single mothers workshop: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/921330222497?aff=oddtdtcreator

Image Credits
Louise Adolphsen
Silvina Barredo