Today we’d like to introduce you to Haylee Graham.
Hi Haylee, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
Growing up, I loved to draw, and I’d come with these imaginative stories in my head and sketch out book covers or movie posters for the ideas. I had dozens of sketchbooks filled with these drawings. My father was a screenwriter and actor, and my mother was an actress as well, so storytelling just seemed as natural to me as breathing. Then, in my junior year of high school, I was begrudgingly put in a freshman video production class. I didn’t care for the class and cared even less for the younger students around me…until I was tasked to write a twenty-page screenplay for a mid-term grade. I knew very little about screenwriting, but I wrote my screenplay and turned it in so quickly my grumpy teacher accused me of plagiarizing. He then pulled me aside and said, “You know, this is pretty good.”
As an angsty teenager who just couldn’t seem to find her fit, I took that and ran with it. For the next six months, I then translated that screenplay to a novel that was 500 pages and far, far too long. I got copies printed and sold them around my strict Catholic high school, oftentimes hiding in hallways to ‘do a drop’ and sell a copy to a student. I wasn’t supposed to sell anything on campus, even books, and so I really did feel like a drug dealer. After I graduated high school, I kept writing, and I covered some real, very hard and complex topics in my stories such as domestic violence, bullying, self-harm, and suicide — all from personal experience — in hopes of using those experiences to comfort others who may feel alone in their darkness and struggle. After I found my faith, I wrote about that, too, and instead of just leaving my readers wading in their darkness with no sustaining resolution, I now could gently guide them toward light. I have written five novels, one of which has been used in a few schools in the Midwest as a teaching tool against bullying. I have also written about five screenplays, with one of my short films called “Out of the Quiet” accumulating over 28 awards and nominations at major film festivals across the country.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
I have quit writing many times due to disappointment, failure, or unmet expectations. After I had some modest success with my self-published books in my early twenties, ‘writer’ became my sole identity. I worked incredibly hard and hustled, hustled, hustled. Along the way, however, in the pursuit of the platform, I replaced my joy of creating with the pressure to perform—I had to make it so I could be financially comfortable, I had to make it so I could help people, I had to make it so I could prove to everyone else that I was better than average, I had to make it so that I proved to myself that I was made of more than just my past choices. I believed in myself, in my stories, and in the messages I wanted to share. I believed so much that it hurt, and so when others didn’t share my enthusiasm, it shook me to the core. Rejection equaled failure, and ‘not making it’ as a writer meant I was ‘not making it’ as a human being at all. Therefore, I’d “break up” with writing over and over again. We had this on-and-off relationship — and we all know that those types of relationships can be just as exhilarating and fun as they are toxic and harmful. I believe hard work and determination are essential traits in the creative pursuit, but I had to hit my stubborn head against a few brick walls to realize that ‘writer’ doesn’t encompass all that am, and ‘writing’ doesn’t comprise of all that I can do. I needed to detach from the outcomes and take the time to explore the depth of who I was, and that wasn’t a lesson I really wanted to learn for a long time.
In writing, you tell about the journeys of fictional characters but can sometimes forget that you, as the creator, are on a journey, too. And that journey — the growth, the development, the story arc, the themes, the lessons – that’s what truly makes something remarkable, not the ending or the outcome. After watching a movie you don’t reflect solely on the last ten minutes, the conclusion of the journey (unless it ends with Leo Dicaprio’s wobbling spinner or Thanos snapping his fingers on the whole Marvel universe). You thoughtfully consider how the whole arc of the story resonates with you and all the many valleys the characters had to explore and mountains they had to climb to even reach the ending. So, after so many years of applying pressure to my passion, I’ve reclaimed my peace and joy in the craft with one simple conclusion: if you can impact one person’s life throughout your own journey, than that’s better than any outcome determined by material success. That’s a remarkable ramification scaling even beyond this life.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I suppose I am most known for releasing inspiring and hope-filled content. After self-publishing a few books, in 2013, I was featured in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Find Your Inner Strength for a story called “Learning to Thrive” that I wrote based on my suicide attempt when I was 19, and the restoration and light I found after such deep darkness. I still get emails to this very day from people who drew some encouragement from my experience. In 2020, during the Covid pandemic, I wrote for a newspaper called “GoodNews” and I shared many more of my vulnerable stories. I seem to have a whole collection of those! Though my articles scaled across the Pacific Northwest, they seemed to especially bring comfort and encouragement to my own community during a time of uncertainty and fear. I have also been featured on KTLA-5, a major news network in Los Angeles, for a podcast segment where I shared a lot of my personal story.
In addition, I was interviewed by Connection Pointe, a wonderful church in Brownsburg, Indiana, and featured on a “Queens Who Lead,” an inspiring talk show on Instagram. As for what I may be most proud of? “Out of the Quiet” was a Christian film I co-wrote based around self-harm and suicide directed by CC Weske, who has done work for Billie Eilish and some of the most revered parkour athletes in the world. CC and I filmed it so that the message wasn’t overtly down your throat or preachy in the sense, but it was subtle, gentle, and stirring enough to navigate any preconceptions of faith as well as introduce the viewer to the peace and hope that not only led our lives but redeemed them. For a faith-based film, “Out of the Quiet” did exceptionally well at secular festivals, and I was really proud of it for reaching all sorts of people from all walks of life. I am now trying to find the perfect home for a memoir I’ve been working on since 2018.
Is there anyone you’d like to thank or give credit to?
The most credit must be given to the peace and love of Christ Jesus. He, truly, is the one who rescued me from the pits, redeemed my life to what it is not, and continues to sustain me. I live a beautiful — yet imperfect — life that I never dreamed was possible. I am progressing each and every day, and it is by His grace that I’m alive today to tell my stories. My mom has been my biggest support since day one. She constantly reminds me to believe in myself, and I wouldn’t be half of who I am without her. She is also my greatest inspiration. She went from living in darkness and domestic violence to becoming an award-winning actress led by faith, hope, and light. She inspires me every single day to never give in and never give up.
My best friend of 15 years, CC, who co-wrote and directed “Out of the Quiet” with me. She was the one who pulled me out of so many sulks after I had quit writing. She was my greatest motivator in so many different seasons and still is. After a stint of feeling discouraged as an author, my partner, Jake, challenged me with: “Haylee, if you died and sat down with God, and he showed you how many people you’ve helped in your journey, would that be good enough for you?” When I replied yes, he held me at arm’s length and told me, “Then that’s your purpose — to help people, whether as a writer or not.” He reminds me every day to seek eternal purpose and not strive for temporal, worldly success. Oh, and also to stop in my day-to-day busyness to pause, take a breath, and listen for just a moment to the bird song all around me.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://hayleegrahamwriting.wixsite.com/home
- Instagram: hayleegrahamwriting
