Meet Thomas of LBtwink in Long Beach

Today we’d like to introduce you to Thomas.

Thomas, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I was born in Fontana, CA and resided in Manteca, CA for a portion of my childhood. When I was eight, my dad was diagnosed with brain cancer. My dad had decided that through that journey that he wanted to live back at home with his mom. He had taken one of my sisters and I to Long Beach where his mother (My grandma Luanne) lived so we could all stay with him through his Cancer Journey. That Journey lasted a little under a year before he had passed away. My family had decided that my sister and I would be best off in the care of Luanne. So at age eight, I moved out here to Long Beach. Growing up in Long Beach was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. As a gay man, growing up in a predominantly religious household, and coming to terms with my sexuality, was very tough. Long Beach has a tight-knit LGBTQ+ community and as a city, it is very gay-friendly. I came out when I was a freshman in high school, and have always openly embraced my sexuality since then.

School was never something I enjoyed, I felt like I was trapped every day I was there. I include this because my junior year of high school I switched to an independent study and got my diploma in 2017. Being in home school, I had a lot of free time on my hands, and I always knew I wanted to pursue something creatively. At the time, I chose modeling. I spent so much time in front of a camera and had such a passion for it. I shot for many different projects and was loving it. The older I got, I realized my interest for it was fading as I entered a dark but defining era of my life.

Growing up gay is quite confusing for someone raised in an anti-gay household. Along with that, we are not taught about (quite blatantly) gay sex growing up in public schools here. I bring that up because here is where things really take a turn.

I discovered an app called Grindr, a gay dating app. I was 15 when I first downloaded it, and quite frankly, I was just an uninformed teen being preyed upon by older men. With that being said, I myself had made some pretty bad decisions about who I was giving my body up too.

When I was 17, I decided to go to my very first Pride Festival in Long Beach. The day started just as normal, I woke up extra excited to go to my first pride. I met up at a friend’s house where we hopped in an uber and were on our way. We had arrived pretty early, and we were just walking around to all these different vendor’s booths. One of these vendors asked us if we wanted to play a bean bag toss, to which we did. After I had tossed the bean bag a couple of times, one of the workers asked me if I wanted to do an HIV test. I complied because I had only ever gotten tested once when I was 16. I go into this trailer booth where they prick my finger to get a small blood sample.

The test is coming up reactive the nurse had told me “We will do a second test to double-check”.

In that moment, when I heard that, I felt blank. I had no feelings in that moment. The nurse was bombarding me with questions of my sex life, asking me about family, and asking how he could connect me with care.

I simply told him “I’ll deal with this later I am going to go”.

I told my friend who I had gone with and she was just as in shock as I was. We spent a couple of hours together before she just ended up leaving for the day, I stayed alone. I spent the rest of my day at pride, although I had hit a low point, I wanted to escape and forget about what going on.

Over the next couple of months, I had not known what to do, I didn’t want to tell my family, and I wasn’t old enough to deal with the medical part on my own. I just kept it to myself and ignored it with hopes that when I’m 18 I can deal with it (on a bright note I did).

In the time I kept it to myself, I fell down a pit of depression and was slapped in the face with my only escape, drug abuse. Now, this went on for a couple of moments before I literally had a moment where I thought I was going to overdose and die. In that moment, I was slapped with reality and decided I want to quit before I really become an adult.

When I turned 18, I was connected to care. The doctors who I went to could see I was fragile and scared of everything. They treated me as part of a family and did everything in their control to make sure that I was okay. Offering services among therapy, free medicine, access to free care, programs to help me financially in my life. They made me feel okay. They taught me more than any school ever would.

I had kept this secret from my family, and as time went on, I started to tell more and more of my friends. Telling people made me feel better, although I could always tell some people held a bit of a stigma towards me. A negative one, almost like I was toxic and they were scared to be around me or share things with me in worries they might get it.

One day I had woken up, I was around 18 1/2, and man was I having a day. I felt so insecure and so depressed like I was carrying a weight on my shoulders, almost like I had a secret I was hiding from everyone. I was over being sad. Like, so over it. I curated an Instagram post (I only had around 3000 followers) and explained that I had HIV and I wasn’t scared to say it anymore. I told my followers what being Undetectable meant, I educated them. I felt invincible after I came forward with that. I received an OVERWHELMING amount of support from people, saying that I had taught them so much about this and that I was so brave. I knew in that moment I wanted to tell my story, every single detail.

This is when I got into YouTube. I had made a video called “How I got HIV at 17 years old” and immediately after posting it, I gained thousands upon thousands of views, of people telling me not only how brave I was, but how much I taught them. I knew from that moment that this was something that I was meant to advocate for.

After that video, I found a love for YouTube. I found a love for creating content. I decided since I was not going to college, that’s what I wanted to pursue for the time being. YouTube made me feel productive, YouTube made me feel a purpose in this world. My content is all over the place, from videos about HIV to videos where I just consume cannabis, to videos of my that I want to document. I do it all. YouTube is MY safe space.

To this day and to many, many, days more. I will tell anyone that getting HIV was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Although stigma still exists, I find as the years go on its only the ignorant ones who add to it. I don’t associate myself them.

You can live a normal life with HIV, many people don’t think that. I take one pill a day and I thrive.

We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
Like I had brought up earlier, stigma. Stigma has always been something that has been hard to get past, but I have no other choice. Although I could say coming forward and talking about it initially was hard, I felt like I was the “boy with HIV” but as time goes on, people see I’m much more than that.

Also, just keeping the drive for creating content, I have weeks where I feel uninspired and forced but I always bounce back without a doubt.

We’d love to hear more about your work and what you are currently focused on. What else should we know?
LBtwink is me. LBtwink is my brand.

LB stands for “Long Beach” and Twink is just a young gay man, although I’m not as “twinky” as I used to be, I can be whatever I want to be.

LBtwink is a Lifestyle/Cannabis content creator. A voice within the gay community for people living with HIV. I’m mostly known for my YouTube, but I create lots of content on all platforms (Instagram, Tiktok)

I am most proud for the fact I have done this all, no matter the obstacle. I can’t lie, my family isn’t the most supportive of my “social media” lifestyle, but as time goes on, they see the passion I have for it and see that it can take me places. I am proud for being me, for being open, for living my best life. Which is what I think we should all do, whatever that may be.

I feel like what sets me apart from a lot of people is how open and free I am with my attitude, lifestyle, and fashion choices. Although I define as a male, I have fake nails, I wear fake eyelashes, I wear crop tops, camis, and a lot of clothes that were “made” for females. I believe style has no gender, and to wear whatever makes you happy. My style has eclectic aspects of it but it has always been something I express myself through.

What were you like growing up?
I’ve always been an extroverted individual. Pretty flamboyant. Always outspoken. Confident. Happy attitude and that’s me in all aspects of my life.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://linktr.ee/Lbtwink

Image Credit:
Animated Logo: @Jessicamaridraws

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