Meet Nicole Lawson of The Resilient in Greater Los Angeles

Today we’d like to introduce you to Nicole Lawson.

Nicole, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
I’ve always viewed this as such a loaded question because of the truth in which I currently resonate. I think that I spent a lot of my life over-identifying with this notion of a ‘story’ that it completely dispelled me from reality. Reality is the current moment. Reality being NOW. I show honor and immense gratitude for every step on my journey, but I also think that holding on to any of the steps doesn’t allow me to immerse myself in the next step fully. It instead holds on to patterns and re-creates that story instead of building a new one. I am new in each moment. The lessons of my life– the real, raw, lessons will never escape my heart, and as long as I remain in that space and move from that center, I am not only moving forward but expanding outward. As much as possible, I work on being in my story fully, rather than explaining one that has passed. This forces me always to face myself where I am, accept myself where I am, and create myself with what I have– which has allowed more genuine relationships in my life. All the years I spent over-identifying with my story drew me to a lot of toxic and co-dependent relationships. I learned how not to be alone and used trauma bonding as a foundation of having commonality with others. This illusion is why I felt empty a lot of times in rooms full of people I thought were my friends.

Even in situations where I felt like I was motivating, empowering, or inspiring others with my story, I feel like deep down, it was just a way for me to hold on to that part of me I needed to let go. Once I let go of my story, I freed myself from having to be anyone other than who I am today, right now. Learning to love myself meant inner-standing I will have good days and bad days, wins and losses, I will make ‘good choices’ and ‘not so good’ choices but to move forward, I have to transcend the need to attach to a story about it all and allow myself to be new every day. This newness every day is how I got to where I am. A constant practice of patience, space, allowing, loving, accepting, and flow. It all started with a soul agreement in the cosmos. It honestly took me a while to come to this over-standing. For a while, I thought I was unwanted, unlovable, alone, cursed to some lonely life. I believed I was incapable of making good choices. I came from a broken home. I grew up in many homes, with my aunts being the longest. She raised me here in Los Angeles. She and my uncle were the people who taught me what ‘care’ was and also that it is not the same as ‘love.’ It is an extension of it. My strained relationship with my mother has always challenged my first thought of love. A huge part of my mission is finding ways to ground myself. My initial sense of that groundedness or security had been missing in the same space of the perception I had of my parents. This was my agreement to learn how to ground myself. I didn’t understand growing up all the challenges I faced or why ‘no one wanted me,’ I just knew it felt lonely. No matter how bright others saw me, I felt cold and hopeless. This sparked a depressive state, a series of very poor choices, and the enduring of abuse and silence much longer than I should’ve allowed.

Up until my big bang, I call it, in 2015. I got my second DUI and was kicked out of the military. I lost a lot of things during that time you can imagine, but the bigger picture of this is that something shifted when all that happened. The night of my DUI, I ran into someone head-on, I totaled my car, I was in a period of my life where I didn’t care if I lived or died. The morning after, when I saw photos of my car, I remember looking at myself in the mirror and being disgusted, feeling like my life was over. Little did I know it just started. The core of this is not to say you have to go through something dramatic to wake up, its to say that in that moment sparked a series of questions that changed my life forever. “How did nothing happen to me?” “Why am I still alive?” “How didn’t I kill anyone?”. That’s not to say I didn’t have major repercussions, but for once in my life, I felt protected and ‘saved.’ For once, I felt like after everything I’ve been through and put myself through, that was my sign that I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

From that moment on, I started figuring out why. Why am I here, what do I have to offer? The deeper I dug, the more I broke into myself, the more light started to shine through. How I got here, as to being a self-careist, wellness curator, resilience coach, herbalist, and writer, was by a constant curiosity for my existence. I became and will always be a professional student. I wanted to understand life, love, fear, and everything in between. I am far from perfect, but I promised myself to be here now and allow my life to be the answer to all that life is, to all that people seek. So I started with myself. I am my best test subject. I stopped trying to be something for others and started being who I was always meant to, whatever that looks like, and possibilities opened up for me, life opened up to me. Next thing I knew, others were interested in not just what I had to say but my lifestyle. I’m not rich (financially) yet, but I am rich in love, understanding, and willingness. I am rich in my health, and that inspires others. For that, I’m grateful because I’m in alignment with myself. Even in the case of my parents, I over-stand now that we are all on our journeys. We know not each other’s deepest truths or even how they are supposed to get to them. I did not know this was my truth, to be this light in the world, this healer until I allowed it to be.

When I broke free of trying to place myself in a home with a white picket fence, I started to realize the exact opposite of what I had always told myself. I was not unloved or unwanted I am meant to be loved, wanted, and felt by all. I could be constrained to this attachment of what the world says the family is when my family is all over. My soul ties are all over. My purpose has to be all over and that means being connected to everything and everyone without attaching to any. 2015 is the first time in my life that I did not blame anyone but myself. It was the first time I took accountability for my actions and the way I viewed the world and my place in it. It was the first time I felt my God’s power to change it all in an instant. Now, it didn’t happen in an instant, but it happened in a series of instances. A series of moments where I showed up to in my health, relationships, spirituality, and career. I’m still on this journey, but where I am today is so much further than where I was. I have so much gratitude for that.

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
The road has definitely not been smooth, but the rigged parts, the sharp edges, even the dull sides have always kept me on my toes and my ass sometimes. The expectation itself of a smooth road is the biggest challenge I faced, before and after my awakening to myself, and this thing we call life. The truth is, when I agreed to come here, to fulfill this purpose, to learn more about love, and to experience myself in it, this is the only way. When you’re choosing a trip out of the state, you just decide you’re going and then show up to the airport. You trust you’ll get to your destination no matter which way the plane takes or what kind of turbulence happens, no matter what people you encounter in the airport or on the flight, it is all apart of the journey. You accept this when you choose to go on the trip. That is the same thinking I applied to my life. I just stopped expecting the road to be smooth. Instead, I’m allowing the road to be what it already is as it will enable me to be who I am as well. I’ve had a multitude of challenges, but I was the biggest one—my ego and how I relate to and process the world around me. The road was going to always be the road, how I tread it depends on me.

Once I learned to accept life for what it is and stop trying to shift it into what I wanted, I was able to focus on changing myself into being what the world needs. Now, no matter how much it hurts. I invite challenges and struggles. I believe they are all doors to a more complete version of myself. I’ve faced many things from growing up without my parents, suicidal ideations, losing people to suicide, alcoholism, getting kicked out of the military, verbal, physical, and sexual trauma, breakups, and lost friendships. I got through it because I kept going. Even if it was a small step, even if it was a step in the wrong direction, I kept going. My desire to live fully and be happy became stronger than my desire to be right about my self Loathing. I started finding joy in the simplest things like fresh air, good health, water and smiles. The little things became the big things. More little good things happen than big bad things. I worked on changing my relationship to how I viewed and spoke about what was going on in my life and that shifted everything.

Alright – so let’s talk business. Tell us about The Resilient, LLC – what should we know?
The Resilient is a wellness hub focused on curiosity, creativity, and connectedness. The business is broken down into two sectors the community and the shop. The shop is my little apothecary I opened up. Herbs have become a huge part of my life and my healing. I believe all the medicine we need has always been here with us. Intend to make healing and herbs accessible to everyone while also spreading the knowledge about the sacred plants. Wellness the first step of resilience. A healthy mind, body, and soul is unmatched. My online shop will not just include herbs but other tools that can be used in your daily lives and spiritual practice. The second sector of the business is what I refer to as “The Resilience Room”. That is where all the magic happens. This is where I offer many services to include wellness coaching, tarot therapy, group coaching, workshops, meal prepping, and so much more.

Above all that is the space where community is formed through soul-stirring thought-work and immersive healing. It is easy to give up, it requires no thought or effort, just a mere decision to stop. When you stop you inevitably know that disappointment and a constant longing for more not only awaits but will willingly sit next to you. I created this space is for those who are unsatisfied with the KNOWN. For those who dare to keep going in spite of and because of it all. For those who are heart-pounding, eye-watering, clammy-palmed, ready to see what’s on the other side of fear. This space is for those who have the audacity of resilience. I extend my platforms to co-create ways to be more whole versions of ourselves and better interconnected with one another. Each one of us is healing from something, building something, or moving on from something, even if it is just the current version of ourselves.

Any shoutouts? Who else deserves credit in this story – who has played a meaningful role?
Everyone deserves credit honestly, every single person directly and indirectly has all been apart of my experience. I am grateful for that. The good people and bad have all forced met o pull parts out of myself that might not have otherwise been noticed. This is probably going to be the strangest response but my truth is that the entity that deserves the most credit is my puppy Koda. He’s a 4-year-old malti-poo. I say him because he’s been the only constant in my life that has truly taught me what unconditional love is, what being is, what caring feels like, how peaceful existing can be if it’s allowed. Between him and my growing love for plants I’m learning what life is.

Pricing:

• Tarot therapy $44-77
• Coaching $55-111
• Meal prepping $33 +

Contact Info:

• Website: Fortheresilient.com
• Email: [email protected]
• Instagram: intagram.com/the.resilienceroom
  instagram.com/eyeamcolelawson
• Other: instagram.com/for.theresilient

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