We recently had the chance to connect with Kali Rocha and have shared our conversation below.
Kali, a huge thanks to you for investing the time to share your wisdom with those who are seeking it. We think it’s so important for us to share stories with our neighbors, friends and community because knowledge multiples when we share with each other. Let’s jump in: Are you walking a path—or wandering?
I love this question, because it really makes me think about where I am in my life right now in a new way. As an actress, I am in the same boat as so many creative people who have had to find new ways to survive while trying to stay tethered to the joy since the pandemic, the writer’s and actor’s strike, and the radically changed landscape of the entertainment industry. While I would have said before this transformation that I was walking with intention on the path of my life, now I see that the entire forest’s layout has changed. No one knows the paths anymore and there’s not a map in the world that applies to what we all thought we understood: train, audition, get hired, work hard, repeat. This has been disorienting for me and everyone I know, but I believe it is human nature to be resilient in the face of seismic shifts, and then to adapt to the new terrain. So while I am wandering in one sense because the ground beneath my feet feels very different, by creating ilak designs I have harnessed an intentionality to my direction now that feels much more like walking. Plus, I have found berries and trees, leaves and insects I never would have seen on my previous path, and can use these metaphorical treasures to create my reimagined art…
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My company, ilak designs, bears the tagline “treasures found and reimagined.” This conveys exactly my creative and life philosophy- that everything with a past is a treasure to be cherished and everything old has the potential to be reimagined into something of value today.
The perfect example of this: I found an ornate single shoe clip from the 1950s at a junk store- a royal blue glass cabuchon surrounded by an ornate brass filgree with a pearl. This could easily have been a forgotten adornment of old that had served its purpose and was relegated to the annals of time. But I saw an entire history: before the days of women being expected to have a closet of shoes in every color to match our every outfit, women in post-WWII America vacuumed the house in the very same flats they wore to dinner in the evening, just embellished with a fancy shoe clip that transformed the mundane into the elegant, on a budget. The single shoe clip I found- which I adapted into a pendant and hung from a vintage brass chain- represented a different time with different values and expectations, and all the history in between. My brand, ilak designs, takes these moments from the past and brings them into the present, refreshed, in an entirely new and wearable way.
Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What was your earliest memory of feeling powerful?
In middle school, I was cast in a production of “I Never Saw Another Butterfly,” a one-act play based on a compilation of poems written by children in the Holocaust. I was 11 or 12 and reciting a poem by a young Jewish boy who perished in Terezin- words I had no real-life connection to. But I remember so clearly the exact feeling of when I spoke those words, and the ethereal, suspended, riveted connection I felt from the audience. I knew that I was inhabiting and honoring this boy and his experience and his soul and his story- and it had all landed on the audience, almost in the audience itself, as a kind of truth. A teacher later pulled me aside to say “…You can really hold a moment.” This may have been when I realized that I was a good actress, and that my imagination and curiosity and research and respect for a person’s story could all be channeled into one great life choice. That was 40 years ago, and I have had a rich, soulful, magical career as an actress that I could never have imagined then, full of hundreds of moments of connection and exchange and pathos and life. I am grateful for that one moment as a child because it gave me that confidence that I had a sort of power, and that my life could include the use of that gift.
What did suffering teach you that success never could?
There is a confidence that has accrued the more professional success I have had- and that’s been great. But there is a different, deeper self-knowledge that has come from surviving my most terrifying and traumatic experiences. At 17, I had emergency brain surgery to relieve excessive fluid pressure in my head. Neurosurgeons installed a permanent tube, leading from the center of my brain to the outside of my skull, into my jugular vein, and draining into my heart. 1 month later, with half a head of hair, a new sci-fi mechanism saving my life and a nervous system carrying more trauma than I could possibly process at that age, I flew alone into a snowstorm to audition for Carnegie Mellon University’s acting conservatory. I was accepted the following week. I needed emergency surgery my senior year there, then again a week later because the tube was not cleared properly (this time the tube was extended to drain into my abdominal cavity, not my heart). Again with a new haircut, I got a Broadway show just after graduating, and worked in NYC and LA for a robust 20 years without incident (grateful but always waiting for the shoe to drop again). It did, when I delivered my daughter by C-section while simultaneously having my brain relieved of excess pressure that had built-up because of my pregnancy. Finally, after 2 weeks in the ICU, I had my last surgery to allow fluid to drain naturally within my brain, and completely abandon the defunct tube. Yes, I’ve made movies and acted in plays and written scripts and appeared on tv, but the knowledge that I can survive- and thrive- under extreme physical, emotional and psychological duress gives me the most profound sense of strength that no job ever could. I can handle anything.
Sure, so let’s go deeper into your values and how you think. What are the biggest lies your industry tells itself?
I think it was Nicholas Cage who said that it’s very easy in the entertainment industry to “get high on your own fumes.” I love that expression, because success is as gossamer as a vapor, and as intangible. The so-called lie that my industry tells itself is that true success is judged almost exclusively by money and fame, and that these things are actually a reflection of one’s worth as a human. There is so much to love and appreciate about the experience of being an actor, but the very unique relationship we have to have with the “industry” aspect of our business is a dangerous thing to build your house on. It has so little to do with what most good artists I know are in this for, and actually feels pretty gross. But to the money-making side of this apparatus it all feels very important because so much depends on the financial success of a product. Most people I know would do what we do for free, if life weren’t so expensive.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. When do you feel most at peace?
I have the most beautiful, creative, feisty, independent, funny and loving family- my husband and our teen son and daughter. A dream day is an adventure with them- trying a new restaurant, travelling to a different country, or just laughing around the dinner table. However, “peace” is a word I would use to describe how I feel when I am searching for treasures and creating my reimagined jewelry for ilak designs. During this time, I am completely and utterly immersed in my own creative universe. I can metaphorically spread my imagination’s wings, follow an inspiring idea into a new world of understanding- what is the history of this vintage Marcasite pin? what is the significance of this antique Chinese Yuekou key? why did French generals wear this particular insignia in WWII? I love the deep-dive into a history I didn’t know, learning about the use and necessity of a certain object or material specific to a time in our past that a found treasure connects me to. I cherish that abandon and it makes joining my family all the richer when its time to re-emerge.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://ilakdesigns.com
- Instagram: @ilak_designs
- Twitter: @kalimrocha
- Facebook: kali.5.rocha
Image Credits
Michael Krikorian
Kali Rocha
