Today we’d like to introduce you to Esther Lopez Gaspar.
Hi Esther, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
My personal story started in Jalisco, where I was born. Growing up, my parents used to tell me the story of how they decided to come visit Disneyland with my sister and me and how they then decided to stay! Little did I know that it was only a fairytale version of how it all happened. It was only until recently that we learned all of the details of how we came to this country and of how my mother had to be separated from her daughters, even if it was only one sleepless night. I share that because it is an important part of my story, a part that perhaps I was too young to understand or that perhaps I understood perfectly and tried to block out of my memory. I was only 4. Moving to California was a decision that changed our lives forever. It was here in California that I learned about racism, discrimination, love, diversity…and where I went to college, where I met my husband, and had my kids! It is also the place that now saw me transform into a bilingual wedding officiant; and it was a transformation. Never in a million years would I have imagined that I’d be holding a mic, in front of a group of people…for fun and for a living. In fact, in college, I beat myself up every time after someone else answered a question posed by a professor, while I had the same answer and also nearly had an anxiety attack. It was only four years ago after our personal wedding, that I divinely came upon the idea of becoming a bilingual wedding officiant. Around that time, I had been in search of a part-time or weekend opportunity that would allow me to develop my personal skills and bring in some extra income to my family (I had been a stay-at-home mom for the previous 8 years). Neither my husband or I are religious people and we knew we wanted to hire an officiant because asking a family member felt like too much pressure to put on them. Having someone who was bilingual was non-negotiable because some of our family members only speak Spanish and we wanted to make sure they felt included. We ended up finding an officiant who actually cancelled on us the day after our initial FaceTime call…no reason, no explanation. Since we had already struggled to find someone within a four-month time frame (we literally planned our wedding in four months), we were stressed and I took to Instagram, an app that I had only been on for only months, intentionally. Eventually we found someone and long story short, she ended up changing important aspects of our ceremony that we had previously agreed upon, *after* we had discussed them. She was trying to be helpful, but we ended up unhappy about what was said. Our day was still beautiful but that was a sour note for us. My husband hinted that I’d do a great job at officiating and I laughed. The idea stayed in my mind and upon considering all aspects, including how officiating was mostly a weekend endeavor, I decided to go for it.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
I was very grateful to turn 40 this year and something about that number made me reflect about all of the wonderful moments and memories that I have been blessed with, as well as all of the lessons that have made me the person I am today. Whew! Long sentence but it is the truth. One of the most difficult times I have had to overcome is going through Postpartum Depression. It is something not many people knew about and a time in my life that has been a blur and place of exploration and growth (only in hindsight). When I was going through it, twice, what helped me through was the unconditional support of my family, especially my husband. Knowing that you can rely on the person that is with you when you wake up and when you say goodnight, it means the world when you are in a low place. That has been the way with any struggle that has come up…family is always my number one support. Many, many years ago I renounced organized religion. In doing so, I also clumped spirituality and a connection to something deeper along with it. It has only been within the last maybe five years that I have re-connected with the spiritual aspect of life and meditation and that has been a game-changer in my view of the world, including how to address challenges. I am constantly growing and evolving in this area, but it has definitely been a source of support especially when I am hyper focused on a health concern, or a moment of self-doubt, or during a heavy PMS episode in these premenopausal years, which can be very intense.
I would like to express my. gratitude to my partner for life, my husband who goes above and beyond, every single day. I am immensely grateful for my parents, my sister and her family and the two beautiful boys that have taught me about love and patience.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
When I started officiating, I knew I wanted to bring the skills I already had and do right by the couples who would hire me. I took a course on how to professionally officiate a modern, fun and engaging wedding. When I started my journey, the hardest part was social media. I had intentionally chosen to stay only on Facebook personally and I was faced with having to join the social media world for my business. While I developed those skills, I focused on making personal and meaningful connections with other officiants and vendors in the industry. One of the things that is a priority for me is having integrity in the work I do and working with couples and this was something I made clear in my connections. I do have a Doctoral degree in Occupational Therapy, so I chose to use the Dr. in my name, aware that it would probably instill trust in those who followed me. I value that trust more than anything and I wanted to make sure that I was providing a top-tier service to all of the couples and their family and friends.
I have now learned enough about social media to be able to reflect part of my personality, my professionalism and my care for my couples in a way that is authentic and attracts the kinds of couples I want to work with. I do not use any conventional sales tactics like creating urgency or anything like that because I believe in making a decision out of a place of internal peace and alignment and not because you are feeling FOMO.
For my ceremonies, I personalize each couple’s love story and I present it during their wedding in a way that engages their guests and makes it a ceremony to remember. Every time I am done with a ceremony, my cells are probably swimming in a pool of serotonin because I am in such a natural high. I come home to my family full of joy and ready to spend time with them, feeling a sense of accomplishment. When I get texts, emails or a review from a couple, it only solidifies what I feel immediately post-ceremony. I take pride in what I do and I love sharing it with other like-minded professionals (shoutout to Dee, Eve, Cindy, Rosa and Jennifer).
Any advice for finding a mentor or networking in general?
It’s simple…don’t be afraid to be yourself. I wish I had known this when I was younger; always trying to “look” professional and act and sound a certain way (referred to as code switching). This is the most damaging thing you can do to yourself and your identity. It has taken years for me to understand and embrace this concept, even if not yet at 100%…but we are all a work-in-progress. Be yourself and don’t be afraid to reach out. The people who are meant to help you, are willing to do it if you just ask. I was very blessed to have found a group of colleagues and friends in the industry who supported me with tangible advice and in referring couples to me. I will be forever grateful to Brenda from Elev8 Planning who trusted me from day one. Also, to Chris from Your Custom Ceremony for being a mentor and keeping it real.
I consider myself more of an introverted person, so it can be overwhelming and draining to connect if you are going in with the mentality that you are not good at it or that you don’t know how to connect. The key is being yourself so that going to a networking event or making a connection does not drain you. Your people will find you, but you have to put yourself out there first.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://sayidoconmigo.com
- Instagram: @say.ido.conmigo
- Other: https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=c10bdb9112c5c8ba&rlz=1C5MACD_enUS1038US1038&sxsrf=AHTn8zqmtk4KvrlpCddCODfi35PX9UOwEQ:1745616427554&si=APYL9bs7Hg2KMLB-4tSoTdxuOx8BdRvHbByC_AuVpNyh0x2KzR7epyZEJRkRV4AulhPwEcryYQeU1JlmmGJfOjzWiKRQpzF8oAKvLjARf9F6pLSM3qAM0rl_XAghRxL0CQmx0-Gx1uLpDLetMD7ls1PKCfJS1qvRW5Dv_TuneDVUC7O4FCoahHA%3D&q=Say+I+Do+Conmigo+Bilingual+Wedding+Officiant+Reviews&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwivjdD4j_SMAxWDIkQIHTnJN24Q0bkNegQIKhAD&biw=1280&bih=596&dpr=2


Image Credits
Main image: Photos By Dee
Second image (only me in it): @BTSbyJennie
