Sumi Siegel shared her story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Good morning Sumi, it’s such a great way to kick off the day – I think our readers will love hearing your stories, experiences and about how you think about life and work. Let’s jump right in? What’s more important to you—intelligence, energy, or integrity?
My first thought regarding this question was that it’s a leading one because everyone will and should choose “integrity”, so I dismissed it and tried to select another question to answer instead. But I kept getting pulled back to it. I sat with it and considered whether or not it was truly a leading question, OR could it be that it all depends on what one has experienced, and just as important, what one has not.
For me to explain my choice, my brain requires me to dig into all three and consider why any choice could justifiably carry more weight than the others. I always see dots to connect, and so here we go.
Starting with “intelligence”. First of all, there’s someone else’s intelligence and then there’s our own. We evaluate the intelligence of others far more than we do our own. For the most part, we all accept the intelligence we possess, and I would even go as far to say that we don’t give it much thought. We’ve all been living in our own heads since day one and are comfortable with what we’re “working with”. If one considers themselves smart or less than so, it is most likely due to having been told by someone else and less because of self-realization. Second, intelligence is subjective and varied. The importance of it becomes notable when we see something in someone else that interests us, either because we relate to them, or because they offer insight into something that inspires us. We view such people as intelligent because we see them as either a peer or a mentor. On the flip side, if we find someone abhorrent, we find it difficult to even acknowledge that they possess any intelligence at all. With all of this in mind, who then, would choose intelligence as most important? I could see someone weighing intelligence (any kind) as most important because they value making connections as the most essential human experience and do so by seeking out like-minded people. “After all, what are we here for?”, says such a person. To this person I say, “Fair enough.”
Now, “energy”. I have to admit that I have dueling feelings about this word and I almost involuntarily roll my eyes at it. To simplify the concept of what energy is when it comes to people, let’s say it’s the attitude that someone carries that can be observed and even felt by others. People with positive energy can brighten the world, make you feel good, and can even encourage you to persevere through a difficult time. Those with negative energy can make you feel uneasy, unsafe, and can be repellent. So, why roll my eyes? I do see myself as a fairly positive person. I certainly prefer that to be the takeaway when people size me up. However, there is also an almost life-long sadness and darkness present. I accept it as a part of who I am. Trauma (and a sprinkling of hereditary brain stuff) put it there, and it’s never going to leave. Intuitive people (strangers) have sensed it at times and felt the need to point it out. On the one hand, I’m like, “Wow, how do you know this about me?” And on the other, I feel totally unseen because they are insensitively overlooking the survivor that is also before them, who is trying to live a meaningful life, just like everyone else. Sensing this about me, would this person think I have positive energy? Probably not. Now, back to the topic at hand. There are people who authentically exude positive energy. We are drawn to them. And there are people that have irredeemably bad energy. We avoid them. However, there are also people who’s energy is like a pendulum—like me. I relate to these people. I feel empathy for them. There are days when their trauma defines them. If meeting them for the first time on such a day, you’re likely to read them wrong, labeling them as a person with dark energy. On another day, they’ve managed to put the trauma away to embrace the beauty of life with a perspective that only a person whose “been through it” can have. They are very often more resilient than your average person and in working so hard to be happy, or at the very least be at peace with their darkness, they see details that others miss. Consider your favorite artist (of any kind.) There’s almost always, at minimum, a little darkness in their story. They have the ability to deliver profound beauty because they have first-hand experience in what it takes to find light in the darkness. This is what I think about when I consider the importance of “energy”. However, I do see the importance and value a person may place on it, if they prioritize surrounding themselves with positive energy as a means of living a peaceful life. It’s a beautiful idea and to them I say again, “Fair enough.”
Now “integrity”. Let’s define it. A person or entity is said to have integrity if they execute all actions using the principles of honesty, fairness, reliability, and effort. My business turned 20 this year, and I attribute much of that to the integrity that goes into all aspects of it. My customers are incredibly loyal—many of them have been with me since the beginning. Yes, they love the curation of goods that I offer, but I think they stick with me because of the confidence they have in their shopping experience. The concept of my business is clear. For goods to make the cut, they must be both aesthetically pleasing and ethically made. All goods are either made by hand or in a small production manner. Quality is guaranteed, and therefor, customers can count on not getting the runaround if there’s an issue with their purchase. As an aside, and also important, customers are treated like friends and always feel welcome. This is the moment when you can interject the observation, “Hey, but now you’re talking about the “energy” felt in your store!” Yes, this is so true! But, without the integrity behind it all, there can be no positive energy. My partly cloudy little soul only reveals the sunshine when I’ve authentically given my best… and that is why integrity is most important to me. Dots connected! Next question!
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am the owner of Sumi’s, a boutique in the Los Feliz neighborhood of Los Angeles. I opened my doors in the spring of 2005. The theme of the store is handmade and small production goods. We offer jewelry, ceramics, toys, accessories, art prints, and more. I also produce my own jewelry line which is sold in the store. I’m planning on going to metal-smithing school in 2026 so that I can learn new skills and techniques. Ultimately, I’d like to spend much more time than I currently do on the creative side of my business.
Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What was your earliest memory of feeling powerful?
This question reminds me of my mom, who, when describing my early childhood liked to say on repeat, “You were a willful and enterprising child”. I wasn’t a discipline problem or anything like that. I just had ideas that I sought to put into action and didn’t do so well in environments that were strictly structured. Childcare situations, in particular, were often problematic.
When I was 3 years old we lived in Lusaka, Zambia. I have very vivid memories of being there. Every weekday morning, I was dropped off at a daycare center. Thankfully, I only did a half day, with my mom picking me up just as the mass-produced lunch on compartmentalized trays was served. How to describe this place? Institutional and concrete. No grass, no trees, no cheer. It was a big place and there were hundreds of kids with very few adults to supervise them.
To manage the ratio of child to adult, we were assigned to a group of about twenty kids, lead by one woman who determined what we were doing and when, (with the exception of playtime which was a free-for-all of all the groups together) One activity was “bathroom time”. You probably imagine that the adult would suggest that anyone who needed to go, should please get in line and wait for their turn to use the bathroom facilities. Totally acceptable, if that had been the protocol. (The problematic childcare situation has arrived) Bathroom time went like this. We were lead into a concrete and windowless room with two doors on opposite sides. There was the one we entered, and the other was a door that lead to an “adults only” part of the building. In the center of the floor, was a large drain with the surrounding floor sloping down to it. Arranged in a large circle, were enough little portable potties for the group. The expectation was that we were all to select a potty, sit down… and go. We had to participate, whether we had to go or not, just in case. We were very little kids after all. Well, I may have been three, but I was fully aware of how humiliating this situation was. Hell no! I was not about to sit down and take a pee staring across at a kid whose name I didn’t even know! So everyday, I’d go through the motions, but not pee. I was resigned to wait until I got home. I had a half day, after all. I could wait another two hours.
One day, during the free-for-all playtime, I felt a little urge to “go”. Not good. Seeing that no one was looking, I headed for the concrete room. I walked in and across to the adults only door and turned the knob. It wasn’t locked! Behind the door was a hallway with lots more doors. The mission was clear. Find out what was there! First door, storage. Second door, a pristine and respectable bathroom! It was going so smoothly. I used it and then left the way I came, without anybody noticing. I returned to the mob of kids, feeling almost euphoric. I did this repeatedly and never got caught. I even took a couple kids with me once, to show them the dignity that was available to them. Another time, I got a little bolder and followed the hallway to see where it lead. It ended at the massive kitchen used to prepare the lunchtime food. The timing was perfect, as no one was there. I helped myself to a piece of what I would now say was similar to corn bread. I certainly felt the power of it all. It taught me that, even though I was three years old, I had an independent mind of my own that I could use as I pleased. It was the first of many “bright ideas”, not all of which worked out as well… “Live and learn”, as they say.
If you could say one kind thing to your younger self, what would it be?
I know you feel like you’re always the outsider and a perimeter member of a group, and because of that, you only feel comfortable in your own skin when you’re alone. You will come to realize that moments of solitude are restorative. You need to spend time alone to recharge and think. This is when you’ll recognize what it feels like to be at peace. This is when you’ll find that your unique way of thinking will lead you to inspiring ideas. It is at these times that you will have clarity and see the paths you need to take to get what you want.
Oh, and also, don’t accept breadcrumbs and pretend that it’s enough. Screw that!
So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. Is the public version of you the real you?
Yes, the public version of me is real. My store is the only place that I feel completely and unapologetically myself. The curation of goods is a visual representation of what I find beautiful, amusing, and even important. So, in some ways, I’m surrounded by “me”, and sharing it with my customers. However, when I’m not at my store, I tend to be pretty reclusive. This is also the real me.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. Could you give everything your best, even if no one ever praised you for it?
I absolutely could! Praise is not the ultimate reward for giving your best. When you give your best to something, it leaves you feeling proud and satisfied. There is so much contentment in that. And when it involves another person, the recognition of your efforts is shown in ways that are so much more meaningful than praise. You get to feel the honor of someone trusting you and when it comes to business, you also get their loyalty. You can see it on a person’s face when they are pleased and you can feel it as well. What’s better than that?
Contact Info:
- Website: https://sumisanywhere.com
- Instagram: sumisinlosfeliz
