Today we’d like to introduce you to Lucretia Tye Jasmine
Hi Lucretia, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
Fingerprints, a lock of my hair, a drop of my blood and a pound of my flesh! A vial of my saliva. Here’s my story:
With wild interests and an inclination to rage against the machine with a flair that might just equal the groupies and musicians who fascinate me, I’m a Los Angeles-based artist and writer born in Boston, MA and raised in Louisville, KY.
I earned my BFA with honors in film from New York University and my MFA in critical studies from CalArts.
An original riot grrrl, I’ve created the riot grrrl Los Angeles mixtape zine, an oral history of the riot grrrls not usually featured in usual media coverage. I’m a vegan zine-maker and a groupie feminist!
I analyze in much of my work how groupies personify the intersection of feminism and music, a theme I express in my Groupie Feminism art series, examine in my oral history mixtape zine, The Groupie Gospels, discuss in my first book, ’70s Teen Pop (Bloomsbury, 2023), and preserve in my one-of-a-kind Groupie Archives. Forthcoming is my book, The Golden Era of Groupies: 1965-1978 (Chicago Review Press).
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
My earliest memory is of a doctor telling me I was too fat when I was five years old. That night, after my younger brother and I bathed, my mom took pictures. But before she did, I made sure to cover myself head to toe in towels. In the photo, my brother stands gleefully naked beside me.
When I was a girl, wearing a big blue shapeless floor-length gown (with tattered lace adding a cinematic glamour), eating and reading, watching old movies of beautiful dancers, staying in bed, staying in one place, helped me to ignore what was so painful to admit, that I would not be running around outside in some cute clothes like some carefree girl in the sunshine.
Most of the time I stayed home from school when I was a kid, alone, reading comics and Nancy Drew mysteries, watching TV, and writing movie stars from the past for autographs. Eating. Laying out an entire loaf of bread, slice by neat slice, knifing mayonnaise or mustard onto each, putting them together like some sad assembly line, making several sandwiches and eating each and every one like it was a job to do. Even when I no longer wanted to do it. After the initial excitement of order was gone, replaced by the necessity of compulsion. The baby-sitter would show up at three pm. As if I had gone to school. When I did, I stared out the window in the backseat as Mom drove, marking time as if the seconds were gravestones. The funeral of school.
I hated getting my body dressed when I was a kid. But freedom when I picked out my own clothes the summer after fifth grade, freedom when I started dressing slutty in seventh, freedom when I became bulimic in ninth. Bulimia a way of talking. My vomit a language. My slutty clothes a tattoo articulating.
My eating disorder a way of talking, vomit a collapsing language, here’s my pound of flesh. Spilling my guts.
Around 1979-1982, I went to midnight movies. My sorrow when I watched the films that featured groupies was more immense than my body. The Song Remains the Same (1976), Rock ‘n’ Roll High School (1979), Pink Floyd – The Wall (1982) – those movies devastated me because the bodies of girls and women were objectified, and because my body looked nothing like theirs.
It was then that I became bulimic. I’d been dieting, I’d lost 34 pounds, I had thirty-one pounds more to go, if I wanted to weigh what the doctor’s chart told me to weigh.
But I struggled. The Scarsdale Diet I’d been on was difficult because of all the meal prep, so I decided to go on a low-calorie diet of anything I wanted as long as I ate under seven hundred calories a day. That went great until one night I went off it. I called my father, who’d gotten me on the Scarsdale Diet. “Dad, I just ate a sandwich and an apple and now I’m over my 700 calories.” He said, “Why don’t you try throwing it up?” I’d heard of anorexia, I knew those girls got skinny by vomiting and starving. I’d tried – once. In 7th grade, but it was hard to make myself throw up. But that night in ninth grade, I thought I’d try again. And it was so easy.
I figured if I had to vomit up my food, I might as well eat a lot to make the vomiting worth it. I hugged myself after an early episode, because I knew I was doing something dangerous. But I was ready. I wanted to be skinny.
I couldn’t wait to be skinny. I wanted to be anorexic. I’d always been fat, and hated myself for it. I’d never heard of bulimia.
It was fun and cozy and liberating. It helped me maintain or even lose weight, it gave me a project, and I could eat whatever I wanted without shame or guilt or panic. Bulimia became my best friend. I was at Planned Parenthood reading their pamphlets when I learned about bulimia. By then, I was bulimic.
After two years it really had a hold on me.
I was
slug inside shell sliming out towards the skinny girls leaping into tomorrow
my vomit a retching of relief
wretched relief
rolling out a scroll of half-digested food
sometimes stuck in my throat
panicky and resolute, I’d choke the rest of it out
I usually used my finger to force myself to vomit, but if it was difficult, I’d use a toothbrush.
Sometimes, I used Milk of Magnesia or Ex-Lax. I always stole the Ex-Lax. When I was in college, a naive professor gave an article to me as research for the paper about eating disorders that I was writing. The article discussed Syrup of Ipecac as a way to induce vomiting. I’d never heard of that syrup, so I tried it a few times. That stuff was scary, made the vomiting out of control, made my heart pound too fast and I could hear my heart beat.
I listened to music loud to drown out the sounds.
It made my brother cry, hearing me vomit, our family was so fucked up and sad.
Over the years my brother calls, we talk about the past, softly and with love “Remember? Remember?” his words curling around me like some sweet sugar a treat that is only bitter later, his words flowing floured sweet and so heavy down my throat opening to throw up puke as thick as mud silent sludge makes violent way
volcano girl mouth
fat girl throwing up
after purges my hipbones
binge dreams and vomit hopes.
My childhood was all about folding in sweet dreams of princess with the most cake
a fat girl Pisces song
an adolescence I spent
reading magazines teen dreams
perfume packets promising sweet smells and no stains
reading skinny girl stories
chocolate and Cheetos on the page
my fingerprints
my sweet fat softening like dough my belly rose an unkempt goddess
throwing up was my salvation my permission
a toilet rim meditation
violent usurpation.
Karen Carpenter’s death from anorexia nervosa-related heart issues did not deter me, such was my desire to be skinny. But all these years later, as famous people increasingly and candidly share their experiences with what one writer friend calls “body panic” and eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, and binge-eating, I find strength in their stories, deepening my commitment to abstinence from bulimia. Paula Abdul, Fiona Apple, Russell Brand, Mel C (Sporty Spice) from The Spice Girls, Judy Collins, Susan Dey, Marianne Faithfull, Lady Gaga, Gerri Halliwell (Ginger Spice) from The Spice Girls, P.J. Harvey, Janet Jackson, Elton John, Kesha, Zoë Kravitz, DemiLovato, Alanis Morissette, Dolly Parton, Nicole Scherzingerfrom The Pussycat Dolls, Taylor Swift, Ann Wilson from Heart, Florence Welch from Florence and the Machine, and Amy Winehouse have reportedly all struggled with eating disorders, most of whom experienced binge-eating and/or bulimia.
I’ve interviewed several groupies for my mixtape zine oral history about groupies, and a few have shared with me their experiences with wanting to be skinny, or with having an eating disorder.
When I’ve hung around groupies and groupie wannabes, some have commented on my large size, or have repeatedly mentioned their smaller size as though being smaller is desirable. Which it is, in our culture. It reminds me of why I never actually was a groupie, even though I wanted to be one: I suspected the rock star would not choose me because I was too fat. I remember the t-shirt that said, “No fat chicks.” It’s why I didn’t go to the Bon Jovi after party even though the roadie who invited me did so while I was sunbathing in a swimsuit, poolside, at the hotel where the band was staying. I binged and purged that night instead.
A memoir by a rock star’s girlfriend makes fun of groupies who wear a size 12. I watched one famous groupie repeatedly weigh herself after eating. A famous rock band told one notorious groupie they were worried about her because she had lost so much weight, and that she had to start eating again and gain weight to get healthy.
My mom mused that some groupies are starving for attention and, referring to the feminist tract, Becoming Visible: Women in European History (eds., Bridenthal and Koonz, 1977), observed that groupies, like girls and women who aren’t groupies, struggle to become visible, too.
Groupies are not just a piece of ass. Groupies are a piece of music history, representing feminism’s trajectory.
Groupies have been maligned for expressing sexual appetite. Similarly, girls and women have been maligned for having an appetite to eat enough. People have judged me for my weight throughout my life. Internalized fatphobia. Some girls and women – including self-avowed feminist activists and musicians – have judged me for eating, whether I’m having just a bite or two servings, and have mentioned they wear smaller-sized dresses than I. When the chef at the restaurant where I worked as a host created an original dessert and named it after me, I was too self-conscious to even take a bite. I just stood at my host station, observing that it soon sold out. It was a beautiful dessert. One of the servers commented that it looked like sex. It was a torte of mocha dacquoise, white chocolate ganache, and amaretto.
Movies, TV programs, and books make fun of the larger actor or character, who tend to be the punchline or the gag. Or rhetorically: if anyone is eating, it’s usually the larger actor or character. I’ll never forget that classmate in graduate school who read from her soon-to-be-published book, and made almost everyone in the audience laugh uproariously when she described a character as a “fat loser.” Or another classmate there who, when someone offered her a doughnut, said no, and gestured to me several rows back, saying “She’ll eat it, give it to her.” She’d never eaten with me, we’d rarely spoken to each other, she had no idea what I did or didn’t eat. I was about 39 years old, and had a few years abstinence by then.
I was bulimic from the time I was 14 until I was 23. I had a two-day relapse when I was 30, and a five-month relapse when I was 33. I’ve been abstinent ever since (I’m 58 now).
Sometimes I miss my bulimic days, head in the toilet. Bulimia was my friend, at first. But I’m so glad I stopped. Bulimia took so much of my time and energy, and also nutrients and the ability to feel ok about eating at all. When I think of all the art and writing I could’ve done if I hadn’t spent my precious energy and time on bulimia! I spent my time and energy terrified of food and obsessed with finding and eating more food and somehow purging it. My moods and self-esteem were entirely based on what I weighed and whether or not I thoroughly purged.
The smell of certain soaps reminds me of purging. I carefully cleaned the toilet, the floor around the toilet, and the wall behind the toilet after each purge. I always washed my hands, my arms, my face, and brushed my teeth. That lingering smell of vomit anyway.
If I’d ever had a doubt that I was addicted to binging and purging, that last relapse when I was 33 convinced me. It was a nightmare. I’d usually never binged more than once a day, but during that last relapse I was binging and purging several times a day. The digital clock too slow as I waited in the dark, watching for its red numbers to tell me it was midnight so I could binge and purge again. I was trying to keep it at three times a day.
It’s interesting to me that bulimia happened after I went on long-term diets or restrictive food plans.
Here’s how I quit bulimia:
Actually eating a single-serving meal. Not nibbles, not bingeing. Consistent journal-writing from the time I was 14; a good counselor when I was 23; lack of money to buy much food when I moved out of my mom’s apartment at 23; a six-week stay at a hospital when I was 23 where I was monitored after each meal; a 12-step program when I was 32 that taught me I was allowed to eat; accepting my body fatter; and sitting on my hands when I desperately wanted to relapse again at 37. Plus, I always remember what my mom told me Richard Burton, an actor who struggled with alcoholism, said: it’s not that you fall down. It’s that you get back up. Also, the realization that being this age and bulimic would be too hard on my body. Jane Fonda, an actor and fitness guru, talks about how much longer it took for her to recover from a bulimic episode in middle age than it did in her youth. I just don’t want to spend my time and energy on something so self-damaging. I want to be kind to myself.
In this article, I share art from my Groupie Feminismart series and my Perfect 10/Beauty Pageant series.
The artworks I share here in this article are about the experiences of trying to fit a beauty standard. Beauty standards include physical (how one appears) and behavioral (how one behaves) traits. As my mom, Lucretia Baldwin “Teka” Ward pointed out to me, fat is a feminist issue, reminding me of Susie Orbach’s 1978 book.
Bulimia translates as ox-hunger. Even the word “bulimic” sounds fat. But fat really is a feminist issue. So is having a healthy appetite – for sex, and for food.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
Here are a few of my recent artworks that relate to eating disorders, and to groupies. More detailed attributions and artist statements can be found on my website, https://www.lucretiatyejasmine.com/
“Eating Disorder Art/Bulimia”
Attributions and Artist Statement:
A bathroom, a refrigerator, food and beverages, toiletries, a radio cassette player, a journal with pen from American Girl accessories
Laxatives from a drugstore
A cake drum from a forgotten store
26 1/2″ H, 40″ W, 29″ D
Bathroom:
A radio and cassette player; Love’s Baby Soft perfume; a butterfly-shaped bottle of body cream; body powder; soaps in a flowery box; two rolls of pink toilet paper; 4 cassette tapes with cassette covers; a toilet that makes a flushing sound when the handle is pushed, filled with vomit and diarrhea; a bath mat; a round plate of white laxative pills; toilet paper roll and a pack of toilet tissue; tissue box; a shower with floral-print shower curtain, gold rod and hooks; shampoo; a wastebasket with a butterfly graphic; a sink with mirror on a pink vanity with bright orange trim and an orange towel; toothpaste, toothbrush, and flower-shaped soap; a bath mat; a dark pink laundry hamper with daisy graphics; a dark pink towel wrap; a notebook and pen; and a bottle of orange soda.
Kitchen:
A coral-colored refrigerator with:
A box of ice pops; a blue bowl of ice cream topped with chocolate syrup, candy pieces, and whipped cream, with a metal spoon; an ice tray; one TV dinner; a Jell-O mold; a jar of strawberry jam; a jar of grape jam; two bars of butter; two bottles of milk; a casserole; a ham; seven eggs; three bottles orange soda; two sparkling water drinks with a green straw and a blue straw; a jar of relish; a jar of mustard; one fruit punch can with a blue straw atop two TV dinners.
A round gold scalloped cake drum with food and beverages, all ideally vegan but usually not, a devastating demonstration of the similarity between how girls and women are manipulated in patriarchy and how animals are manipulated in human-centric culture.
Four pink wedding cupcakes; a metal fork; a round plate of bacon and eggs; a milkshake; Hostess chocolate cupcake with wavy white stripe; a sandwich; a shish kebob; a hot dog with mustard on a bun; a lavendar soft-serve ice cream cone; a purple cupcake; pink champagne with fruit; a chocolate and vanilla soft-serve ice cream cone; a walnut brownie topped with whipped cream on a round plate; and a bottle of orange soda.
A pitcher of chocolate mousse.
A chocolate pie topped by cream and a berry on a square gold tray
A vanilla cake surrounded by pink laxative pills on a round gold tray
A pitcher of chocolate milkshake.
Pepperoni pizza in a cardboard box with two removable slices, a metal fork, and a plate
One bowl corn chips; one fruit punch can with a green straw
All objects from American Girl except for:
Twenty pink laxative pills, thirty white laxative pills, and the gold cake drum
I made this assemblage artwork to discuss eating and eating disorders. Especially bulimia, because usually it’s the skinny girls who get the attention. Most of the movies and books are about anorexics. So my art is about the bulimic, too.
Groupie Feminism art series
Groupies emerged in the 1960s on the cusp of Second Wave feminism, as the avant-garde of the sexual revolution. They lived their lives as though they could equal rock stars in creative and sexual freedom. But corporate interests and the double standard impeded women’s liberation, and groupies were often dismissed as playthings in the power ballad of music history.
Groupies mirror feminism’s struggle. The term itself signifies cultural difficulty with the emancipation of girls and women. As with so many terms that refer to girls and women, the word “groupie” began as a way to identify fans with the band but then turned into a sexual slur. That the word “groupie” became such a hotbed suggests the necessity for carefully considering the term, and the groupies.
Ardent fans, groupies call radio stations and request songs; they buy the albums, cassettes, CDs, songs, music magazines and concert tickets; they go to concerts and shows, sometimes dancing front row; and, sometimes, they get backstage and befriend the band, becoming lovers and companions with and/or influencers and partymates of the musicians whose music they love and support.
The Groupie Feminism art series is a collection of assemblage artworks about groupies and feminism. It’s taken 14 years so far, from conception to current completion. The main features of the assemblages include: a refreshing beverage; a car (model to scale); a casket (in miniature); a fan; a hotel (in miniature); a hotel room door; a jewelry box; love letters; a lunch box; a lunch tray (in miniature); a playlist; original perfume; a room service tray (in miniature); a school desk (in miniature); a school locker (in miniature); and a suitcase. Each assemblage includes various materials or media centering around those objects. The assemblages are listed below:
Beverage – “Riot Grrrl Special”
Car – “Gold Hearts and a Pink Cadillac”
Casket – “Everlasting Love”
Fan with Playlist – “Gold Fan”
Hotel – “Music Groupie Hotel”
Hotel room door – “Adore”
Jewelry Box – “Rock ‘n Roll Groupie Jewelry Box”
Love letters – “Love Letters/In the Pocket”
Lunch box – “Naked Lunch Box”
Lunch tray – “Hot Lunch”
Mixtape – “Groupie Mixtape”
Perfume – “HeartStopper Perfume”
Room service tray – “Rock ‘n’ Roll Room Service”
School desk – “Music Groupie School Desk” School locker – “Rock ‘n Roll Groupie School Locker”
Suitcase – “Groupie Suitcase”
The various materials and media include love letters, album covers, magazine and comic book covers, songs, glitter, heart-shaped confetti, chewing gum, cards, feathers, toy cars and toy motorcycles, tiaras, musical instrument magnets, jewelry, tarot cards, concert tickets, stickers, light gel, magazine layouts, a pencil, candles, music score paper, a coaster, sandwich paper, pastel lights, oil pastels, gift bags, sticky paper, a spindle, a library card, sugar, doilies, velvet, a sex detector, guitar pic, rose petals, cash, matches, guitar strings, a cootie catcher, rhinestones, blood, saliva, tears, hair, whiskers, perfume, toy food, pretend cassettes, pretend 45s and 33 1/3 record albums, an actual cassette and an actual 8-track tape, a toy record player, toiletries, laxatives, essential oils, clothing, patches, make-up, skin care, fabric flowers, writing paper from hotels, stamps, original lyrics and a book proposal by SuperGroupies, SuperGroupie business cards, mint, lime, cherries, crushed ice, tonic water, and various wrappers for candy and champagne.
Groupies mirror feminism’s struggle, but also its insistence. The word “groupie” is emblematic of the feminist impulse, and also the cultural difficulty accepting girls and women as equals to boys and men, with all the freedoms that equality embraces.
When we perceive the multi-dimensionality of groupies, and allow the wonderful space of understanding ardent fans as creative equals and partners to those they love, then “groupie” will not be an insult anymore.
The more evolved people become about women being equals to men, and the more we all accept the sexuality of women as normal and healthy, then the more groupies will be understood as ardent fans (and not derided or dismissed as frivolous playthings). Similarly, the more we understand devotion as strength, and learn to respect vulnerability and love, then the less we will exploit those magnificent traits in any gender.
The devotion a fan can feel to music and its makers is wild and tender. It’s invisible, like music, and carries itself like a celebration, or a declamation, also like music.
The term “groupie feminism” signifies to me a devotion to music that can create its own art, for example, when music gets me out of despair and into making my own art. I don’t know what I’d do without music. I don’t know what I’d do without feminism. I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t find ways to make productive and creative meaning in my life. And so I have created the Groupie Feminism art series.
Here is one of the art assemblages from the series:
“Music Groupie School Desk”
Attributions and Artist Statement:
School desk, American Girl accessories
1 composition book
2 sets lyrics (3 pages total)
1 book proposal (with a green paper clip my mom gave to me)
50 comic book covers (underneath the desk)
6 comic books
48 hardcover books
18 paperback books
2 photos (1 from a 45 sleeve, 1 from film liner notes, both atop comic book floor)
1 album title circle (next to comic book floor)
7 VHS tapes
12 DVDs
29 45s (stacked under desk and 4 scattered on floor)
43 albums (stacked under desk)
72 magazine covers, ads in magazines, articles, and one liner note sleeve picture and one record album (backdrop to the desk)
4 cassette tapes
3 business cards
2 8-tracks
1 actual cassette tape
1 actual 8-track
1 pencil
1 record player, blue, with record, American Girl accessories
1 tape recorder with microphone, American Girl accessories
1 blue and white record case, American Girl accessories
Hearts and flowers stickers in various gemstone colors
3 actual record adaptors for 45s: 2 black, 1 yellow (the yellow one is from Amoeba records)
1 Groupie Couture by Pamela Des Barres necklace of a sparkly guitar
1 pin of a cassette with pencil
1 lipstick, “Groupie,” by Lancôme
1 eye glitter, “Groupie,” by Wet n Wild
1 strip of 4 Betty, Veronica, and Archie stamps (gift from my mom)
2 heart-shaped stickers of gold glitter
1 photocopy from a book of Lithofayne Pridgon and Jimi Hendrix, source unverified
1 side of a Led Zeppelin record album, Side Two, “Dazed and Confused” from The Soundtrack for the film Led Zeppelin: The Song Remains the Same, 1976 (on wall with magazines and ads)
1 photo of original artwork painted in acrylic in 2006 by me of my guitar with a record (on wall with magazines, record album, and ads)
1 copy of original collage art from 2014-2024 by me, “Some Grrrls Riot” based on The Rolling Stones Some Girls(1978) album cover
I chose each item because they are by or about or related to groupies. For example, the vinyl has songs by or about groupies, the magazines have articles by or about groupies, and the books are by or about or significantly refer to groupies. The comics refer to music and/or groupies and fandom.
The comics, cassettes, lyrics, paperbacks, hardcovers, magazines, movies, ads, tapes and vinyl are all from my Groupie Archives. I made copies of the items I’ve been collecting for years, e.g., I copied a book or album cover at a percentage of the original size, then affixed it to a modified matchbox, or to a stiff backing.
There are a lot more songs related to groupies. I included in the “Music Groupie School Desk“ only the vinyl and cassettes I actually have. For more songs, please refer to the “Groupie Playlist“ (which is ever growing), the “Groupie Mixtape,“ and/or the “Gold Fan,” all art assemblages in my Groupie Feminism art series.
As I assembled the “Music Groupie School Desk,” it occurred to me that groupies were inevitable; patriarchy demands adoration of men, and advertisements promote sexuality. My mom, Lucretia Baldwin “Teka” Ward, observed that women of her generation had no choice but to become groupies in one way or another because the depiction of females in popular culture and in language is sexualized. She referred to the name of the character, Pussy Galore, in the James Bond series. We wondered: how do we become sexually liberated without being sexually objectified?
The “Music Groupie School Desk” is my art about the intersection of sexual liberation, romance, and music, the formation of groupies, and their undeniable influence on popular culture – and their undeniable influence on me!
The Beauty Pageant Series
“Perfect 10”
Attributions and Artist Statement:
4 evening gowns
4 beauty pageant sashes with rhinestones
1 gold mannequin
life-size
Prototypes of the Perfect 10: Beauty Pageant Series were first made in 1995, for a Revolution Rising multi-media benefit at the Macondo, an all-ages club in Los Angeles. I was very poor, so I used the clothes in my closet (a black slip, and black tank tops with pink or white skirts) along with shiny pink wrapping paper ribbon or scraps of pink cotton or blue jean for the sash. I wrote the sash messages with a black sharpie. The clothing with sashes were displayed on gold wire hangers.
I’m a fan of Hole’s music, and was reminded by Courtney Love’s lyrics of questions my best friend and I would ask each other: Does this make me look fat? Am I pretty from the back? And, underneath it all, am I pretty on the inside?
Am I asking for it?
When Donald Trump ran for President of the United States in 2016, his owning a beauty contest and calling one of the winners fat enraged me, as did his saying he grabs women by the pussy.
He also said because he owned beauty pageants, he could “inspect” the contestants as they dressed backstage.
Trump totally inspired my current reimagining of my art installations, as did memories of my father, who once told me, when I was 15, that I better focus on my mind because I’d never win any beauty contests. (For some reason I didn’t feel anything when my father said that, and I knew he was right. But…I’ve never forgotten it, either.)
#MeToo questions the way women are objectified, implicating sexual abusers.
I had more money making the art this time around because after I was recently laid off by a company whose primary investor is Goldman Sachs, I received a severance package of nine weeks pay in one paycheck. Goldman Sachs is a mainstay in Trump’s administration. I like that I am using the money I earned from a company and investor I don’t respect to do something I do respect.
I chose a gold mannequin because all nationalities have gold tones, and I wanted to suggest a global experience of being a girl or woman in patriarchy. Plus, as my mom said about diversity and equality, all skin tones shimmer.
I bought the evening gowns and gold mannequin in downtown Los Angeles on Santee Street, and the satin with rhinestone sashes were made by a company that makes sashes for the Miss America pageant.
“Miss America’s Lunchbox”
Attributions and Artist Statement:
Lunchbox unopened
7 1/2” w
6 1/2” h
4” d
Lunchbox with thermos of roses, tiara, petals, pink gemstone, sparkly ribbons, and Wonder sandwich
26 1/2” w
12” h
31” d
Lunchbox opened
7 1/2” – 14 1/2” w
8” – 10” h
4” d
Lunchbox opened with contents arrayed
26 1/2” w
11” h
35” d
1 Miss America primarily red and yellow lunchbox
1 Miss America red thermos
1 Wonder Bread sandwich container with plastic cover with yellow and red circles design
1 semi-sheer green scarf with flower pattern made of green and dark pink beading (given to me by my cousin, the artist Constance Ward)
1 semi-sheer pink scarf with pink sequins
American Girl clothing: pink, green and white checked two-piece swimsuit; blue sequin fishtail gown; gold sequin party dress; white satin elbow-length gloves; gold sparkle tap shoes; white casually formal shoes
1 American Girl scepter with sparkly blue star
1 American Girl sparkly tiara
1 American Girl sparkly crown
1 American Girl tape recorder with microphone
Make-up I had in the 1960s, 1970’s, 1980’s, 1990s, and 2000s: lip color; Frederick’s of Hollywood eyelashes; Maybelline eyebrow color; glimmer lavender face powder; pink and blue powder; pink powder; small white semi-circle make-up brush. The eyebrow color was my mom’s, Lucretia Baldwin “Teka” Ward, and my grandmother, Lucretia Baldwin “Lukey” Ward, gave the false eyelashes to me when I was eleven years old. Fun!
Jewelry I’ve had since the 1970s and 1980s: blue and white rhinestone necklace; blue and white rhinestone bracelet; rhinestone triple strand bracelet; one pair faux diamond earrings
4 deep red rose petals made of fabric
2 tiny cloth roses
2 fake flowers, one pink and one red, each on green stems
1 pink faux gemstone
2 rolls of stitching: one pink sequin, one sparkly lavender knit
Miss America began in 1921 amidst the suffrage movement, when women fought for the right to vote. The pageant began as a bathing suit contest, something that makes one pause in its emphasis on the female body, an emphasis that has created serious struggles from eating disorders to birth control access to safe and legal abortions, an emphasis challenged by those who want equal rights, to move freely in the world, and to be perceived as more than a sex object.
But it also relates to sexual liberation, and the removal of body shame and inhibition.
For a month I watched over forty episodes of Miss America. I’d occasionally watched the pageant before that, and really loved it, even though the swimsuit competition made it clear that women’s bodies had to fit a standard (and for me, a devastatingly unattainable) body type. The site of the wound became the site of the transformation.
During that month, I was healing from a serious illness. For a few months before that, I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t do the simplest chores. I was nauseous and retching daily even though I had not eaten. I began to see my life and being alive in a whole new way. I understood eating in a whole new way. These were revelations.
When I was 14 in 1980, my father told me I’d never win any beauty contests. I’m not sure why he said that because I was under no delusion that I would. He also told me to try bulimia.
I took to bulimia. It ruled my life for ten years. But it wasn’t until I was in my thirties and on a somewhat healthy food plan that I dropped the fifty pounds that had plagued me most of my life. It was so exciting! I’d never known what it was like not to be scared to look in a mirror, or at a photograph of myself, or to try on clothes or weigh myself or just be naked.
I gained it all – slowly, excruciatingly – back by the time I was forty years old. It felt so…sorrowful. I just couldn’t get the weight off for the next eighteen years.
I lost the weight again with the recent illness. It sure wasn’t exciting this time. It was scary.
When I couldn’t eat, I realized how eating disordered and shame-based my relationship with food was all my life. I decided that if I ever got my taste buds back that I was going to enjoy without shame every bite, and love my body. All that matters is good health, actually enjoying the sensations that give pleasure – for example, wind on the skin, the fragrance of flowers, the taste of food! – and love. Being kind as much as possible. I decided I would figure out how to love my life and being alive even amidst the fear, suffering, and misery of being alive. It’s very difficult sometimes to do that because of war, rape, slaughterhouses. Health challenges can take all the energy needed for a good attitude. Also the pains and hurts of trying to communicate and deal with humans on any level can be exhausting and/or devastating!
I’m convinced the pageant and making this art assemblage about it helped me heal. They made me feel happy. I was going through one the most difficult times of my life, and one of the scariest, and Miss America made me happy. I understood the contest in an entirely new way.
I watched Miss America episodes that ranged from the 1960s – 2024. When I was younger, I thought the contestants were people who fit in society, and who fit into the best clothes, so unlike weirdo me. So I rarely watched the program. But I never liked when people made fun of the pageant or it’s contestants; it‘s cruel to make fun of anyone. Plus, I seriously doubted the contestants were dumb, and thought it was sexist and illogical to judge pretty women as stupid.
In my 30s, in the early 2000s, I suddenly loved watching the pageant. And this year I got so invested that I felt the sadness of those who didn’t “win” and the joy of those who did. I actually cried along with some of the contestants.
As I watched so many of the contests, I became curious about the changes I could see and sense; I did some research and learned about so many of the changes, pageantry changes that reflect societal changes, too.
Combining expectations about behavior and brains with beauty and poise, the pageant began as a beauty contest but in 1935 curfews and a ban on bars meant Miss America also had “morality.” The pageant was closed from 1928-1932 because many wondered if the Hollywood hopefuls were “moral.” Sponsorship by companies such as theaters or stores also created suspicion; with contestants represented by state in 1938, a sense of family was represented by an individual’s homestate. Contestants representing states in the United States rather than theaters, resorts, or cities suggests to me the formation of the contest as a sport, and how humans tend to organize themselves by affiliation. It’s like the United States Senate. It also shows, I think, the view of women as national morale booster.
Also in 1938, a talent portion was added to the contest. And in 1945, college scholarships became the prize. Adding scholarships lent gravitas to the pageant. Today, the contest awards many scholarships, the swimsuit portion is referred to as fitness rather than beauty, and the winner spends her year advocating on a national tour for the cause of her choice. She gets to experience travel and the promise of an education she chooses. I think this shows the evolving perception and power of women.
Until 1948, Miss America was crowned in her swim suit, and then the evening gown replaced her bathing suit for the crowning moment. In 1968, women’s liberation groups protested the beauty contest, and the “Freedom Trash Can” – in which feminists tossed bras, girdles, false eyelashes, wigs, beauty and fashion magazines – became a symbol of feminist activist art. In 1969, feminists protested the pageant and crowned a sheep, an example of the usual equation of females with animals. Contestants could hear the chanting of the protestors outside the venue: “Freedom!” It’s a paradox: women on the inside vying for a crown that honors their beauty and achievements while women on the outside vie for freedom from it: the crown demands allegiance to narrow definitions of beauty and success. Amy Argetsinger and Lauren Collins point out that soon after the Constitution was ratified to ensure women could vote, they were voted upon; Miss America emerged about a year after the ratification. But I wonder: could it be that the contest was proclaiming women’s importance?
There have been many rules about competing for Miss America, including rules about age, weight, and being childless and unmarried. In the 1930s, a rule was added that Miss America had to be white. In 1945, the first Jewish Miss America didn’t receive the usual endorsements and advertising spots. And that was the year the cash money prize was replaced with scholarship money, so women could more likely go to college!
In 1969, Miss Black America was founded, and, in 1970, the Miss America rules were changed so Black women could be Miss America, too. In 1984, the first Black woman to win the Miss America crown (1983) resigned because of her nude photos – and then became one of the judges in the pageant in 2015!
In 1989, the pageant made social issues a required platform of commitment, demonstrating to me that one person’s actions really do make a difference: the year before. Miss America devoted herself to a social cause for the first time.
In one of my favorite episodes, a 2019 biochemist contestant integrated science in her talent segment. So cool! All the multi-colored billowing foam, orange green blue! A contestant also did a similar experiment in 2016, so cool, and her words helped me understand chemistry and physics for the first time in my life.
In 1995, a deaf contestant competed.
It was fascinating seeing the changes in the pageant, and in standards of beauty and success, over the years. Also, how the women composed their bodies in space changed. In earlier contests, the women moved their bodies less. They were more like serene and smiling dolls. Now, the women’s bodies move in many directions and all at once, with more emotional variety. More like being animated. Over the years, Q & A developed, which meant the women were talking, showcasing personalities, voice inflections and timbres, intelligence and accents. Candidates improvised, speaking off the cuff and more conversationally. I noticed that the women walked differently, too. In earlier pageants, women took smaller steps. Today, the women stride. Candidates have more physical freedom, and move in ways that prove it. It’s like watching power emerge.
Plus, there’s a lot more glitter, shorter skirts, and body diversity; some women don’t fit the beauty standard, which is thrilling to me. Leg lengths, nose shapes, skin tones, hair textures – more and more over the years I noticed varieties on that shining stage. And not all contestants have flat tummies!
And although it’s long infuriated me that women earn less than men for equal work, Miss America made it even more baffling because I could actually witness the multi-talented strength of the women competing. I can’t emphasize enough how much skill, intelligence, determination and talent the Miss America pageant requires. It’s awe-inspiring to see and hear contestants present in the evening gown, swimsuit, talent and interview or quiz segments, and to observe them all as they perform as a group the dance segments, which they do even after they’ve “lost.”
The pageant was first televised in 1954. From 1955-1979, Bert Parks was the host. He provided a gallant and goofy vibe! His performance background and his resonant voice were disarmingly charming. When he guest-starred and sang the theme song in the 1990 pageant, he described his painful layoff as “before I was rudely interrupted,” a lovely way to express his hurt feelings with humor.
From 1955-1979, Bert serenaded the winner by singing “There She Is” as she walked the runway after winning. She wore her new crown and sometimes her cape, scepter, and/or flowers as he sang. It reminds me of musicians and groupies! But this time the girl plucked from the audience gets a scholarship. The theme song was written by Bernie Wayne, introduced on television in 1955, and it’s lyric “your ideal” signifies the mighty hopes and tremendous pressures of being Miss America.
I think every contestant on that stage is a winner. I really like that the pageant awards a scholarship to Miss America and also to the other contestants. I like that it’s a nonprofit organization. It’s interesting to me that the foundation may continue to exist because many of the contestants themselves raise the money to keep it going; its means women are upholding a pageant that some think put them down. Have we been brainwashed into a cult of beauty, what Naomi Wolfe called the beauty myth, or is there something more to the contest? Are we being colonized, or are we being empowered?
My art assemblage is about the contest. What does Miss America eat for lunch? Everything sparkly and pretty and empowering. The contestants may seem edible in their confectionary glitz, their tantalizing allure a delicious spectacle, but instead of the usual dismissive belittlement and cruel exploitation that eco-feminists have correctly perceived in the history of patriarchy and food consumption, I see Miss America and my Miss America lunchbox art as proof of each individual woman’s unique power. Her four-pointed crown represents the four pillars of her reign: scholarship, service, style, and success.
I chose American Girl accessories because Miss America is an American female. In the lunchbox is an outfit or item that represents each portion of the pageant – swimsuit for fitness, tap shoes for talent, sparkly gown for evening gown, tape recorder for interview – along with make-up and jewels, a thermos and a sandwich box. Rose petals, a scepter, and her crown.
Bibliography
Museum of the American Revolution. https://www.amrevmuseum.org/virtualexhibits/when-women-lost-the-vote-a-revolutionary-story Accessed online 10.28.24.
Argetsinger, Amy. There She Was: The Secret History of Miss America. USA: Atria, 2022.
Collins, Lauren. “Miss America’s History-Makers and Rule-Breakers.” The New Yorker. August 31, 2020. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/09/07/miss-americas-history-makers-and-rule-breakers Accessed online 10.28.24.
“Four Points of the Crown and Four Winning Tips.” Four Points. April 30, 2013.
https://fourpointsmagazine.com/resources/item/1019-four-points-of-the-crown-and-four-winning-tips Accessed online 7.7.24.
“Miss America: A History.” Miss America.org.
https://www.missamerica.org/history/ Accessed online 7.7.24.
“Miss America Breaking the Color Line.” American Experience. PBS.
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/missamerica-breaking-color-line/#:~:text=Instituted%20under%20the%20directorship%20of,they%20could%20trace%20their%20ancestry. Accessed online 9.8.24.
“Miss America Timeline.” American Experience. PBS.
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/miss-america-timeline/ Accessed online 7.7.24.
Secrets of Miss America. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt27998992/ Accessed streaming, April-July, 2024.
“The Miss America Organization and Pageant Icons.” American Experience. PBS. https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/miss-america-organization-and-pageant-icons/ Digital link. Accessed 9.24.24.
Watson, Elwood and Darcy Martin, eds. “There She Is, Miss America”: The Politics of Sex, Beauty, and Race in America’s Most Famous Pageant”. USA: Palgrave MacMillan, 2004.
“The Mystery of Miss America’s Make-Up Case”
Attributions and Artist Statement:
12″L X 10″W X 4-1/2″H packed up, variable dimensions when arrayed
Gold cosmetics bag with handle
Gold mirror
Gold cosmetics bag with zipper
Black velvet jewelry box
Blue velvet jewelry case
Pink jewelry gift box
Star-tipped sceptre to represent a baton, by American Girl
Flower print paper in blue and in lavender by LoveShackFancy
Disney Princess /kit-sch/ satin-wrapped flexi rods in a blue box of a gold castle with gold stars
Silver paper background
Pearl necklace
Rhinestone rings
Rhinestone drop and stud earrings in: pink, diamond, purple
Gold thread button
Vino Lux body lotion in champagne, by the Grapeseed Company
Jasmine Midnight Blooms body mist by Voluspa
Love’s Baby Soft body cologne after bath fragrance by Menley & James
Bronze Goddess Mermaid Waves sea salt spray for the hair so it looks fresh, sparkly and tousled by the Grapeseed Company (as a reference to the pageant’s origins as a bathing beauty contest)
Rose Gold Mermaid Waves sea salt spray for the hair so it looks fresh, sparkly and tousled by the Grapeseed Company (as a reference to the pageant’s origins as a bathing beauty contest)
Gold hair curlers
Gold body with rhinestone-tipped hair clips
Clear body black nylon bristle mascara brush #10G by Maybelline
Pink and white mascara rhinestones
Eyeshadow Coloricon Glitter Single C356C Spiked by Wet n Wild
Eyeshadow Coloricon Glitter Single C351C Bleached by Wet n Wild
Eyeshadow Coloricon Glitter Single C354C Brass by Wet n Wild
Coloricon multistick 258A Lavender Bliss by Wet n Wild
Cake eyeliner EL-1 Black by Ben Nye
Clay Cream eyeshadow Seashell Pink by Tarte
Glitter Glitter liner Stellar by Moira
Lights Camera Lashes mascara by Tarte
Sea blue eyeshadow
Matte lipstick 03 by EpiLynx
Hot Currant 5 Lip Lights by Max Factor
Gold pleated bon bon wrapper
Nude pleated bon bon wrapper
White pleated bon bon wrapper
Caramel color pleated bon bon wrapper
2-3 lip gloss bon bons by Advanced Healthcare (gloss for so lips look shiny and catch the light) – round white chocolate, heart-shaped dark chocolate with red stripe icing, round dark chocolate with white icing
Vanilla Frosting scented lip gloss by Black Opal
Lip Tar matte with brush by Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics
Red and orange glitter lipgloss 133 598
Powder puff with beige ribbon
Lavendar Candlelights Face and Body Lights by L’Oréal (this is powder I wear to flatter my skin tone. Madame X (of the John Singer Sargent 1883-1884 painting) wore lavendar powder, and Cherry Vanilla (Warhol Superstar, Bowie publicist, writer and Super Groupie) made sure to have lavendar gels for the lighting when she performed onstage)
Unicorn Snot face and body glitter gel
Unicorn Snot Lightning Drops liquid highlighter Nymph
White nail lacquer 30A by Milani
Precious Metals nail enamel 356 14k/14 k by Wet ‘n’ Wild
45 vinyl record with sleeve, Bert Parks sings “Miss America” and “Miss America Sisters”
Topstick men’s grooming tape by Vapon (to uplift breasts)
Fearless body and clothing tape by Walker Tape (to uplift breasts and keep clothing in place)
Hair spray by Rave (this item can also keep clothes in place)
Preparation H hemorrhoidal cream (so eyes aren’t puffy)
WD-40 (to spray under bathing suits so they stay in place)
Saran Wrap plastic film (to firm thighs)
Menstrual pads by Carefree (so nipples and vaginal lips don’t show through clothes)
Firm Grip by Cramer (to keep bathing suits in place, especially on bottoms)
o.b. tampons
Pampers wipes
Hotel room soap
Padded bra inserts
Silver, black and gold sheets of sandpaper (to make shoe bottoms non-slippery), each color a different grit
Pink measuring tape by Singer
Blue measuring tape from my grandmother, Lucretia Baldwin “Lukey” Ward, for when I went off to college at 18 years old in 1984
Sewing kit
Rhinestone hooks and eyes
Mascara curler by Tarte
Pink toes for pedicure
Nail files
Dental guard
Cotton balls
Face smoother
Pencil sharpener by Chanel
Tweezers by Revlon
Nail clippers
Rouge (for cleavage)
Vaseline or olive oil (on teeth so smiles glide)
A lemon slice (for bright teeth)
Bronzer by Alba (to emphasize or contour, and also to have a healthy glow)
Hand sanitizer (to eliminate make-up stains)
Gold candy wrapper (sugar for energy just before go onstage)
While researching the Miss America Pageant, I found it fascinating to learn the tricks of the pageant trade! It made me think of a mechanic’s tool box because many of the beautifying items seemed unbeautiful even as they seemed appealingly functional to me. I happen to love tools and tool kits. Realizing that the contestants utilized tools considered masculine, such as WD-40 or men’s toupee tape, along with feminine items such as tampons and pads, intrigued me. It made me see women as mechanics of beauty. And also, some items had to do with health, such as Preparation H, or babies, such as Pampers. Which made it all the more cool to me because it made Miss America’s make-up case so well-rounded. Diverse and integrated. Its own political case.
Many of the items are vegan and cruelty-free. I noticed that some of usual products are bad for the environment, for animals, and for humans, so I sometimes included substitutes that are better. For example, olive oil instead of Vaseline.
Some of the items listed in the attributions are not visible in the photos of the assemblage.
The sceptre, which the pageant winner is often granted, represents a baton, which many people have referenced to mock Miss America contestants, as though baton twirling is easy or for the feeble-minded. The baton has been used very few times in the talent portion of the contest anyway, and plus I dare anyone to twirl a baton -or two, or more – successfully.
The phrase “make-up” in this artwork’s title suggests a few things to me:
– Glamour, with its making up an illusion
– Play, as in making up a story or playing make-believe
– Lack, because it’s making up for something missing
Miss America, with its history of rules about being single and childless, and its being shut down for a few years early on because of its scandalously admitted sexuality, polished away sexual activity for a glamorously innocent sheen. The origin of the word glamour relates to illusion, or magic spells. Which is all about make-up.
I included the blue and gold package of a Disney product for hair curlers because of its lovely colors and because the Miss America make-up case includes hair curlers. At first, it was an accident; I just happened to order the product, and set it next to my art assemblage because I set my mail on my drafting table, and the drafting table is where I make my art assemblages.
I really liked how the blue and gold packaging looked with the gold make-up case. I was hesitant to toss out the package. But how on earth does Disney relate to Miss America? Meanwhile: I read Iset Anuakan’s essay, “Princess Literature and the Miss America Pageant.” And I realized how well the packaging related to my art assemblage. Disney made the animated versions of Grimm fairytales. If the shoe fits…
Iset wrote about a “narrow range of attributes…that mythologizes female beauty,” relating princess mythology to a codified standard of beauty, one similar to the Miss America beauty pageant’s. She discussed fairytales grimly, stories about magical places with narrative resolution. Being awarded with a status-elevating crown and scholarship money refers to the fairytales, too; a poor girl becomes a pretty princess. It’s about class and cash. Beauty becomes its own magical resolution in fairytales and in beauty pageants.
The blue eye pictured on the eyebrow brush packaging reminds me of the pageant’s usually white-skinned contestants.
The pearl necklace signifies the how-to of the pageant wave: Elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist. Touch your pearls and blow a kiss! And also its pornographic symbolism of fellatio (a “pearl necklace” refers to ejaculation), because Miss America represents a nation’s conflicting feelings about sexual women, and serving men sexually.
During the time I assembled this artwork, I was in the midst of watching every episode ever made of Cupcake Wars. One episode featured Mallory Hagan, Miss America 2013. She said. “Being Miss America is about so much more than being beautiful. It’s about being creative, and well-spoken, and most of all, poised under pressure.”
The Miss America pageant has objectified the female form, with pageant contestants turning in a figure 8 for a back, side and front view of their bodies to be voted upon. But the pageant also demonstrates the competence and intelligence, the ambition and determination of girls and women. The contestants – lately called delegates – demonstrate the ways girls and women have dealt with – have had to deal with – and survived patriarchy. It’s something to respect. Because it’s not easy.
And the word “case” in this artwork’s title suggests making a case for something, e.g., beauty, or a woman’s worth. It also refers to solving a mystery case.
Anuakan, Iset. “Princess Literature and the Miss America Pageant.” Elwood Watson and Darcy Martin, eds. “There She Is, Miss America”: The Politics of Sex, Beauty, and Race in America’s Most Famous Pageant. USA: Palgrave MacMillan, 2004.
Argetsinger, Amy. There She Was: The Secret History of Miss America. USA: Atria, 2022.
Lethe, Aaron. “5 Beauty Tricks We Learned From the Miss America Pageant.” Bazaar. 9.15.14. https://www.harpersbazaar.com/beauty/makeup/advice/a3605/miss-america-pageant-2014/ Digital link. Accessed 10.19.24.
“Miss America.” Cupcake Wars, Season 9, Episode 9. 11.2.13.
“Miss America: Secrets Revealed.” Live Well Network. YouTube. https://youtu.be/8wbhX_wp8Jo?si=XbYVl9tQ4zNBIDL- Digital link. Accessed 10.19.24.
Ziajka, Stephanie. “9 of the Best Kept Beauty Queen Secrets.” Diary of a Debutante. https://thediaryofadebutante.com/top-9-beauty-queen-secrets/ Digital link. Accessed 10.19.24.
Can you talk to us a bit about the role of luck?
Yes, it’s true: some people are luckier than others. It’s the draw of the cards.
And after that: it really is how you play the cards you’re dealt.
Be always prepared, so if luck arrives, you’re ready to handle it. Don Berrigan, the editor of 1973’s Star magazine, a magazine I love, a magazine known as the groupie magazine, gave terrific advice to me, and it relates to luck: Be ready! Be ready, so when opportunity knocks, you can answer.
Contact Info:
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