Today we’d like to introduce you to Bonnie Gross.
Hi Bonnie, so excited to have you with us today. What can you tell us about your story?
“Lady Parts” was inspired by my own journey in the world of female health care and sexuality. For years I was struggling with vaginal pain, and it affected every aspect of my life from relationships to my career goals. It seemed that no one was talking about the “taboo” subject and even I was scared to talk about it. I went to multiple doctors for years who either dismissed my pain or misdiagnosed me. Some doctors would blame it on anxiety, while one even suggested I try drinking before sex to “loosen up.” After years of doctors not believing my pain, I found a specialist in New York that correctly diagnosed my vulvar vestibulitis and vaginismus.
Eventually, I got surgery and did a year of pelvic floor therapy with dilators. After all, was said and done, I wondered why no one was talking about this and why I couldn’t find any media about the subject. I wrote a blog post about the surgery and ended up receiving over six hundred views and an overwhelming response from other women out there, who were experiencing similar issues. Once I was able to get myself healthy, I began writing “Lady Parts” to finally put something out there that no one was talking about but needed to be heard.
During the pandemic and a period of furlough, I decided it was time to stop waiting around for “Lady Parts” to get made and instead take matters into my own hands. If there is no chair at the table, pull one up yourself. I poured my entire life savings along with the money from multiple Indiegogo campaigns into the film. With the help of so many amazing friends, family, and peers, we wrapped principle photography just a month ago. Now we are entering postproduction and getting everything ready for festival submissions.
6 years ago, to the day of our last take, I was going in for post-Op after my vestibulectomy. A vestibulectomy involves surgically removing the painful tissue around the opening of the vagina. After a 6-week bed rest period, I was finally able to walk again and start to resume normal life. It was going to be a year before I’d feel 100%, but it was a ray of sunshine after 6 weeks of complete hell. It was my first day leaving my parent’s house after 6 weeks. Ironic now looking back after going through the pandemic. I remember being in the car and seeing just how big the sky was. Everything was exciting to me. A stop at Costco. A walk to the mailbox. A shower that I could take without any help. I swore from that day, I would never take anything for granted. Ever since, even in the most stressful of moments, I think about how badly I wanted to get to the moment I am at today. How badly younger me would have been thrilled just to be on set that day, no matter the level of exhaustion. Most importantly I live every day trying to make my younger self proud of the woman I am becoming and constantly growing into. I know she would be proud of the media we are creating and putting out there for others. Today and every day I am proud of her.
Our director, Nancy Boyd, has also struggled with vaginismus and has played a huge part in telling this story on screen. I know for both of us, turning these struggles into a work of art has been cathartic and beautiful. Along with Nancy and myself, we had a majority female-identifying crew, including our fabulous cinematographer Olaa Olabi. It was truly one of the most wonderful experiences and I couldn’t have asked for a better team. This would not have been made if it were not for each and every single person who helped on set, donated or continues to help as we head into postproduction.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
I would say it was beyond a bumpy road, and more like I-95 with potholes and detours at every corner. During our month of filming in Los Angeles, I had a mental breakdown at a Jack in the Box, took zoom therapy from a dark conference room in a plumbing supply office, and managed to cut up my ankles with C stands turning my all-white sneakers red. All is fair when you are working your normal job on east coast hours while on set on the west coast working your passion project till late hours and getting no sleep. While we were filming the entire month in Los Angeles, I was working my full-time New York job remotely as postproduction coordinator at Light Iron. This would mean waking up at 3 am to get ahead on problem-solving for the movie set as well as clocking in for my NY job. I was staying in a family friend’s she-shed, which contained a twin bed, air conditioner, and desk. There were many nights of little or no sleep. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the option of taking a whole month off unpaid, but nothing was going to stop me from making a dream come true.
Since we were as low budget as they come, everyone including myself was wearing multiple hats. I was not only the executive producer and writer, I was the transpo captain driving the truck every day, I was ordering lunches and managing Crafty, organizing and tracking the props, helping set dec, managing all the social media, and running any errand necessary to keep production afloat. I was lucky enough to be surrounded by the most amazing and hardworking team, who came in each day and delivered something even better than I imagined. Making a film takes a community and if it were not for my team, my friends, and family’s support, this film would not have been made.
Production and sets are already physically and mentally exhausting, but I never expected the emotional toll of watching my personal story unfold in front of my eyes, as well as everyone else’s around me. Suddenly I found myself crying at every little thing. It’s been 6 years. I thought I’d moved on, but I had no idea how much was still left to process. Every day was filled with highs and lows. One moment I’m playing around in a movie set of a sex dungeon and eating tiramisu and the next a cooler of expired milk falls on me as I cry in a U-Haul van. If you’re lucky like me, it happens all within 24 hours. Peaks and valleys my friends.
I had to get back to NYC before we were able to wrap up shooting. It’s midnight and oddly quiet on 89th street in Manhattan. I receive a FaceTime from our 1st AD just as they are about to do the martini take, aka the last take of the film. I’m watching people that were just strangers to me a month ago all come together to make this story come to life. I know them all now. I can picture all their smiles. I memorized their dietary needs. I worry each day they won’t have enough La Croix. They call me set dad. “That’s a wrap on Lady Parts.” There they all are, capturing the final scene and immediately screaming and jumping for joy. I cheer with them through the screen. I give a speech over FaceTime. I hung up. We made a feature film! We did it!
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
Back in 2017, I purchased a one-way flight to Los Angeles with a few trash bags full of clothing and dream of one day working in the entertainment industry. For 3 years I slept on an air mattress, in a furniture-less apartment, scraping to get by. I have been bartending since I was 18, which was always a good side hustle during these times and even now, but I hit the ground running taking PA gigs and temp jobs all around town. I had a temp job that placed me on the Sony Lot at Deluxe for 4-6 weeks, but it ended up being the start of my career in the postproduction world.
I have been working in post-production since 2017, starting off as a temp receptionist at Deluxe, then onto Encore Hollywood, which focused on episodic productions. I worked my way up to production coordinator, where I worked on more than 20 TV shows during evening hours, communicating with top-level clients and executives, maintaining production schedules, and ensuring a timely delivery of shows and files. I transitioned to become a full-time postproduction supervisor, corresponding with production teams, VFX vendors, audio houses, QC houses, as well as networks to establish workflows from dailies to archival.
While working full-time at Encore, I graduated from the UCLA Professional Program for TV Comedy Writing, as well as the sketch comedy writing program at Upright Citizens Brigade. My biggest passion has always been comedy writing. I have now been working at Light Iron’s NYC office for just over a year as a production coordinator, continuing in my postproduction career trajectory.
In between Encore and Light Iron, I worked at Red Clay Media out of Birmingham, AL for the social media brand It’s a Southern Thing. As a member of the comedy team, I created and collaborated on new show ideas and concepts for the brand across multiple social platforms with an online audience of over 900 million views and growing. During the pandemic, I decided I wanted to come back to the east coast and be closer to my family in Philly. I have now been working at Light Iron’s NYC office for just over a year.
Although my passion is comedy writing, knowing and understanding the postproduction world has been a huge asset in creating my own content. It is a side of the industry that doesn’t get as much recognition but is so essential to the filmmaking process. Every day working in post I am learning something new and how to better make films from start to finish. It has been a huge asset in the making of “Lady Parts.”
What does success mean to you?
During the pandemic, we were forced to reflect on what we truly wanted out of life. We were alone with the scariest thing ever, our own thoughts. I had imagined this pause from work and life as a grave. I had quit my job, moved back in with my parents, and started bartending again. At the same time, I was in the process of turning “Lady Parts” into a feature film and laying the groundwork for producing it. Little did I know that this was never my grave, but instead my garden, that was the seed for making “Lady Parts” into what it is today.
Although the goal may always remain the same, there is never just one path to the end, and rarely does it stay on course. The goal for me has always been about putting media out there that I wish was out there when I was going through all of these health issues. My dream was to spread awareness and make it less of a taboo topic, so hopefully, other women won’t have to feel so alone. To me, if we accomplished those things, then “Lady Parts” was a success. With all the obstacles and unforeseen circumstances that production can bring, the path to making “Lady Parts,” was all about adapting. The reason we were able to create this was not because we simply followed a step-by-step guidebook, but instead, we made do with the resources at our disposal. That is why I define success as adapting.
Even throughout this process, we have started so many great conversations surrounding topics such as vulvodynia, vaginismus, and dilators. If someone can watch this film and walk away with a better understanding of female health issues, then I would call it a success. Adapting how we tell these stories, while also adapting the way others see the world.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.bonnie-gross.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shake_ur_bonbon/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/Cinna__BON
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@shake_ur_bonbon
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Lady Parts Indiegogo: www.ladypartsfilm.com
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Lady Parts Instagram: https://www.
instagram.com/ladyparts_film/
