Today we’d like to introduce you to Vanessa Vazquez.
Vanessa, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I started closed-off and now I’m emotionally raw every day. I am an LA native, born in the canyon part of Laurel Canyon in Studio City. I was born vegetarian, via my two Argentine parents, and have remained since, for 31 years. I was raised in a Jewish Latin household so needless to say, in Studio City in the early 90’s, I was really confused. Nowadays, I’d be a dime a dozen, I’m sure. When my parents divorced, I first began acting (age 11) after seeing this cool couple-grades-above-me girl Lori Dorfman be a character that expressed herself with her hands, exactly 20 years ago. I found it completely on my own, mom and dad did not introduce it. I got the part Jan in Grease, like so many do, and that was it. Why is it always Grease? I was non-stop ever since that moment, never skipped a season without being in a musical. It’s like I didn’t need to think anymore, my singular goal was to expand emotionally on stage.
Of course, I did continue to think, a lot, and went to college to study acting at UC Santa Cruz. I also did a stint at San Francisco but did not care for it. It must be said, though on paper, I was thriving and booking commercials and musicals and avaunt garde site-specific performance pieces straight away, I just wasn’t happy. I was utterly miserable. My artistry has clued me in and helped me strive for more and more emotional awareness and availability in every aspect of my life. It wasn’t until after I moved back home to LA in 2015, that I got to work with my performance/career role model, filmmaker and artist Miranda July, in her live the theatre piece entitled “New Society”, at UCLA. This outrageous opportunity gave me the confidence to believe and be able to say “MY work is what people will emotionally respond to the most”. I was determined to only listen to my heart and work on my own pieces.
And I did. In 2018, I put on my performance manifesto mind/body duality art piece, “Vanessa Goes By Ashley” at the Lyric Hyperion Theatre in Silverlake, after being immersed in the LA Idiot Clown scene, with Wet the Hippo/Idiot Workshop (John Gilkey’s creation). The manifesto was my thoughts on theatre and performance and my lived life but copy-pasted into a theatre narrative play. It was a comedy but, it was layered with my personal deep truths and demons that I wrote several interpretations for. I had a few other actors in it, people playing fictionalized versions of my mom and dad, live piano and song, and I even went so far as to write a scary director character that solidified the idea that Vanessa Goes By Ashley, meaning Vanessa or Ashley, was stupid and unoriginal, and that the whole concept was a sham, a reflection of the part of my psyche that was insecure of how my manifesto would be received. The part of my brain that thinks the worst, I put it into my work.
This sold out, largely successful show granted me the opportunity to then been seen performing at LA Opera, the first of three immediately following Vanessa Goes by Ashley. Ashley is just a random name that does not match my personality at all. It’s just like, associated with blandness. Something I kind of want sometimes but am not sure about. My therapist likes to tell me that I’m very intense, so this name seemed docile and calming to me (ha). You know, someone who has nothing to be confused about in life, she just coasts. Writing my performance manifesto absolutely fine-tuned and help me to acquire a clarity in my artistry and my Latin South American identity. A fondness of myself I never had before. I’m in the process of writing the appropriately named next show, “Ashley 2” which will be thematically comprised of ore solo diving in, meaning no other people in it this time, and I will deal with mirrors and my mind-body duality.
Has it been a smooth road?
I’ve noticed my ideas run smooth when I truly and simply listen to my heart and my conscience, and less to other people. However, this has made collaborating with others not always easy. I love to connect and work through art with people, but sometimes, people who want to collaborate don’t know how to truly give and take. I talk about this also in my comedy.
I always like to meet with directors (usually always men, sadly) to let them know, “Thank you for casting me, but I have a set of morals to adhere to with my character and I’d really like to share them to you before we go into rehearsal process”. And time and time again, that fated pre-production coffee date always goes seemingly ecstatically well, but once we are in the thick of it, I start to feel cut, and more cut, until I’m barely using a single idea that was devised as mine. I like to have integrity as an actor, and it’s really hard to as a woman taking direction from usually always white cis male directors. It makes me question, “does this person not want me to ask why?” and thats a bad feeling to have when trying to create and tell a story.
I typically have no fear of being the clown and being ugly, so when I gently remind my self that this is all for NO other reason than joy, (so to clarify, excluding money, financial gain, being “noticed”, etc.) I blossom. I like to be in other people’s performances that think like that, that aren’t after ticket sales or Instagram likes. My journey can be hard in this way, as a result, I tend to choose wisely. It’s good for my head and for off-the-cusp ideas to flourish into fully formed ideas of movement. When I’ve geared myself up for this, I feel safe and seamlessly collaborative, so I stick to that anthem.
We’d love to hear more about your work and what you are currently focused on. What else should we know?
I am known for my special and unique style of comedy, dramatics, and performance art. When I go out on any given night to do stand-up & open-mics, I usually don’t have a set. The wild card comic, anything can happen at my shows. Conversely however, I more often than not do exactly the opposite. (So again, with the duality.) I enjoy on a deep level when I am able/ given time to do polished pieces, usually highlighting my singing and musicality that have been sufficiently rehearsed. I try to set myself apart that way, in the semi-flighty Hollywood scene. Whenever I just throw ideas up and try things, I usually end up wigging out on what a “bit” even is. It’s defined as a “routine”, but the modern usage of it kind of irks me. Meaningful, fleshed out, not quick pumped-out performances are my speciality nowadays.
“Vanessa Goes by Ashley” is what put me on the map in LA as a performance artist in that regard. Prior, I had done every musical under the sun, a hefty amount of plays, one acts, various Shakespeare’s, a lifetime of improv, comedy shows of all kinds. But none of it meant anything to anyone other than a night of levity maybe but still stressed about parking and getting someone to come with. I wanted my work to be self-sufficient in that if someone wants to digest my art, it’s going to be a two way street. A consensual gives intake where everyone agrees to whats being processed.
Let’s touch on your thoughts about our city – what do you like the most and least?
I love my hometown (originally Studio City). It makes me feel like melting pots work. Whether or not that is true, I guess always remains to be seen, however, the blending of cultures and people is truly the draw. When I studied acting in Santa Cruz, close to the Bay Area, I noticed how homogeneous my fellow artists were. They pretty much were only ever given one Koolaid, one doctrine, one method of acting, or whatever it was, and hadn’t been exposed to much else. I felt alone being from down South, and always was exposing my friends to all my lived experience in art and culture, and even in Jewish Argentine traditions, while I lived there for three years. I still felt myself doing that when I moved to the East Bay and was doing a good amount of theatre in San Francisco. It was all one note. I missed LA, and it was good to return. I also love being able to perform at the Opera, seeing all different types of the nature, the community of comics and idiots I’m happy to be apart of, and the way people are here, just casual, not trying to impress, but also not too casual. There’s a small sense of urgency, just not like, totally cut off. Since I feel safe here, I like to make it my business to pass that one to everyone I know! Hold their hand and say, don’t go home for all the holidays, stay a while and feel the slow burn of this town that eventually is your warm blanket, if you will allow it.
The drawbacks of Los Angeles are few! But sometimes I feel Los Angelenos can occasionally lack taste. I know that sounds harsh, but I’ve seen people be extremely in humane here while driving around in some fancy car. They lack the ability to see themselves. There is a plentitude of ego flowing in this town, probably myself included. I’m vigorously working on stripping it down more each day. It feels like since LA is so big and so very lonely at times that it would be easy and natural for people to come together, like an idealized New York or Berlin. Driving and “staying in town” mentality is a big big issue for me that I notice in others. I don’t mind going to any beach, at any time, or going to any part of town just to visit and turn around and come back. Not very many Angelenos s are like that though, and it’s unfortunate because there is so many experiences to dive deep into here in this wonderful strange town.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.vanessa-vazquez.com
- Email: v@vanessa-vazquez.com
- Instagram: @literalhell
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/frailty.thy.name.is
Image Credit:
Jean Jacket shot by Cameron DeVan Pack, Singing shot by Richard Michael Johnson, Vanessa Goes By Ashley shot by Rebecca Fondiler
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