Today we’d like to introduce you to Santana Dempsey.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Santana. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
Perfect! I was adopted with my biological sister out of foster care when I was six years old. My biological father abandoned us and our biological mother committed suicide. They were in an interracial marriage in Texas. She was White. He was Dominican. (Oooof heavy stuff.)
I had to grow up fast. I had to learn how to survive on my own. I’ve spent my whole life trying to validate my younger self. To reclaim her. Name her. Believe in her. Her worth.
It does something to a child when you have a lack of love. It manifests in strange ways. In adulthood, I am seeing those ramifications. Though, I’m constantly finding creative and healthy ways to explore the manifestations and use them to inspire others and myself.
Three things saved me:
My biological sister Gala. We were fortunate enough to never be split up. We were adopted together to the same family. We look almost identical. She was the only other person in our town that looked like me. It was imperative to have someone resemble you in a town where you were considered to be an outsider. The only mixed kids. I don’t think I would have survived if we were separated. She has been and continues to be, my first love. I’d do anything for her.
My parents. Vicki and Terrell. I can’t imagine being 30 years old, just starting a law career, and adopting two sisters of a different race. A transracial adoption. It’s pretty incredible! My favorite thing about my parents, they never make us feel guilty for exploring our biological roots. They never lied to us about our adoption or our biological family either. We always were in it together. Even when things were hard. Always sharing. Listening. Communicating the different experiences we all had. They loved us from the beginning and we loved them back.
The Theatre. I was seven or eight when I first stepped foot on a stage. My parents did community theatre and would take me with them to rehearsal. I’d watch all the magic. The lights dimming. The audience in their seats. The first show I was in was A Christmas Carol. The urchin. It was the smallest part but I did not care. I felt so alive. I could be anything. I felt complete. I could transform into a character’s chaos and no one would run away. Instead, they would listen. Applaud. Be enthralled by the language. I fell in love, hard.
I got a BA in theatre performance at the University of Missouri (Columbia). Three days after graduation, I moved to NYC by myself to pursue my dreams. I did a lot of Theatre. I thought I wanted to be on Broadway. I soon realized, I wasn’t a triple threat. I could dance but not sing. Honestly, I didn’t really see people who looked like me in the leads. I always thought the theatre was so open-minded, but it has just as many holes as anything else. I did meet some of the most inspirational people. I learned much about myself in the city. How art heals. It has healed me.
One place I thrived was in the commercial world. My mixed race look was valued more commercially than other mediums. I’d never thought much about doing TV, but when I booked my first short film, I never looked back.
I moved to LA shortly after, beginning all over again. It’s been a roller coaster of a career out here. Years of much success. Years of little. It’s always an ebb and flow. I’m constantly doing the inner work. Self-love. Trying not to fit into these black and white boxes set forth. I want to shatter them. Open my own doors. I believe my differences are my greatest asset.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
I think a life in the arts is always rocky. There is no direct path. Especially being an Actor. Everyone’s path looks different. Which can make it challenging, because it doesn’t really matter how good you are. How many years of training you’ve put into your craft. Into the business. The business does not care about actors. It cares about money. That has been one of the hardest things to swallow in LA.
Though, I do believe once you realize how expendable you are, you either step fully into your truth, finding ways to create on your own terms, and living a life you want, or you get out. There is no wrong choice. Entertainment is a very tough business. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t love it so much.
For me, the hardest part is loneliness and getting out of my own way. Trusting, I am enough as I am. When I get in my head, I’m crippled with anxiety. I push too hard, trying to be what I think casting wants me to be. (Half the time they don’t know what they want.) In turn, losing sight of my natural instincts, the lines and the work.
I love transforming racially, physically, emotionally. It can be both a benefit and a detriment. I don’t fit into a specific category. I am constantly battling not being Black enough. Latinx enough. Mixed enough. White enough for casting and producers. But I am…enough!
We’d love to hear more about your work and what you are currently focused on. What else should we know?
I am writing my first book. A young adult novel. Creatively exploring all of my favorite themes: Childhood trauma. Transracial-adoption. Being mixed race in a small conservative town. Unrequited love. A coming of age story. Last week, I put all my belongings in storage in LA and am driving East with my dog. The world is flipped and the only thing I have control over right now is finishing my book.
In March, I got stuck in Tarragona, Spain by myself during their lockdown on my fourth day while traveling. Spain had the strictest lockdown procedures in the world. We were not allowed outside. Not even for a walk. It was one of the most mentally challenging experiences of my life. Being out of the country, alone while the world became crippled with Covid19. Then I returned to the USA on fire. It has been so much, hence while I’m escaping. I did manage to get half my book finished. Bonus!
As far as acting, earlier in my career, I was part of the ABC Showcase in LA, which really helped expose me to different industry professionals and gave me an instant community.
Currently, I am in a national commercial opposite Kenan Thompson for Thrifty car rental. Kenan was so giving and fun. He treated me as an equal!
I recurred on the last season of ABC’s Scandal as Tech Filiz spewing out all kinds of tech jargon to Scott Foley. I still don’t quite understand what I was exactly saying (lol)!
I was the most star struck when I played my nerdiest role in MegaChurch Murder (Lifetime). When I saw Malcolm Jamal-Warner, Dawnn Lewis, Corbin Bleu and Romeo Miller on set my first day. I almost peed my pants. I was like, this is my cast!?! How cool!! My character wore bifocals and cat sweaters. That was fun.
My favorite role was in the movie Lowlife (Hulu). I played an eighth month pregnant heroine junkie married to a Mexican Luchador. It was a dark comedy/thriller with lots of plot twists and turns. I will never forget the makeup team putting the afterbirth all over my thighs. It was made out of applesauce and red dye. So sticky. The entire experience was magical. I crave gritty characters!
A few years ago, I had a short story (An Impossible Feat) published in an anthology called, The Beiging of America (Amazon). It explores being mixed raced in the 21st century.
I think it’s important to continue exploring and jumping out of one’s comfort zones.
Any shoutouts? Who else deserves credit in this story – who has played a meaningful role?
Ava Dellaira!! My biggest cheerleader. My best friend. An incredible author. Two YA novels published (Love Letters to the Dead. In Search of Us.) Ava believes in me. In my writing, more than I believe in myself a lot of the time. She is the reason I am finally writing a book. Ava is constantly nudging me, “You are a natural writer. I believe in you.” She helped guide me in writing my first pilot, giving me notes and encouragement. Sometimes, I can’t believe I have someone so good. So selfless. So creative in my life. A true friend. She continually reminds me, “keep writing…Just keep writing. It will save you.” What she may not know, she is saving me too.
Dael Orlandersmith (Yellow Man. Monster. Until the Flood.) In NYC, I took a writing class at Primary Stages. Dael was my teacher. She is a master in solo performance/writing. A true storyteller.
On my first day of class, this strong, beautiful, tall, Black woman with long braids and a nose ring sat in front of me in a circle of chairs. She intimidated me with her confidence. She was magnetic. She sat so comfortably within her own skin. Owning every part of who she was. Even if parts were complicated or misunderstood. She taught me to love my messy parts. To be unapologetic in my story. In who I am.
Halfway through the course, I was struggling to find my own words. Dael interrupts me and goes, “Santana, you don’t have to apologize to anyone for telling your truth. I give you permission to tell your story.” I felt a weight slide off my back. I was no longer afraid. I owe much of my unapologetic writing style to Dael.
Contact Info:
- Website: imdb.me/santanadempsey
- Email: [email protected]
Image Credit:
Brian Parillo, Ryan/Sonia Rickett
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