Today we’d like to introduce you to Laura Fuller
Laura, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
As a child, I was always interested in the body and movement. In watching dance and gymnastics, I saw human life in a bigger way. It showed a larger expression of emotion, potential, magic and meaning.
I did not get to study movement myself until I was 12 years old. And, by that time, there was a lot of trauma in my body. My body, mind, and soul felt enlivened and inspired that there could be a different way to dance through life. However, I also felt trapped by the fear and sadness my body held. Sometimes, when I would move, I would cry.
Though I was not very advanced in my physical abilities, what I learned through my teachers was profound. That – through movement, effort, focus, and metaphor, we have the power to change our own lives, and maybe more than that. This understanding became part of my foundation. The other part came from what my teachers did not understand. They did not know what to do with my emotion. This missing piece would send me forward to learn how to help myself and others heal.
My trauma included early surgeries, challenges from autism and from physical illness and disabilities, and also from a big intergenerational bestowal and scary home, church, and school environments. The strong presence of religion created so much harm in and of itself and also prevented anyone in my family from being honest about their pain and from getting the help they needed. My dad was not well and we had a very violent relationship. He died when I was 17.
I remember standing in a line for tumbling at my gym and crying. A seven-year-old teammate said to me, “I know why you are crying.” (She was letting me know that she knew my dad died). I didn’t tell her, but she was wrong. I was crying because I was free.
That week, I had a profound experience that would inform my life going forward. By that point in time, I had received 5 years of nearly daily training in gymnastics. Though my understanding and work ethic were excellent, I could not do what I had been trained to do. Some of this was because of limitations, but not all of it. That week, I could do everything. The physical change was so drastic that it was undeniable. I could tumble – where, before, I was too afraid. I went from barely being able to do one pull-up to doing sets of 10 with 10 pounds of ankle weights. I was suddenly not depressed or hopeless. For the first time, I felt myself standing on my own two feet, feeling like I could actually navigate life.
Though, in time, the inner cages would show themselves and the deeper healing work would begin, I had a glimpse of who I really am and what life can truly be. And – it taught me the how profound the connection of the body, mind, brain, and soul.
It was not smooth-sailing from there. There were many more challenges, initiations, and journeys through the underworld. But I was informed by that glimpse of freedom. My path forward had to do with understanding this connection between the body, mind and soul. It unfolded through seeking my own healing, and through looking for ways to help others.
My studies in Somatic Psychology happened at a time when the body and psyche were very much kept separate – it is so different now. I had to study in separate places and bring the pieces together. I studied dance, touch, yoga, nature, spirituality, and the workings of the conscious and subconscious mind. I also studied Depth Psychology. I was lucky to be given the richness of the soul, but was told that therapists could not do touch work. …and certainly should not be dancing on stage. I saw the problems in a psychology that did not have room for the body and saw the problems in healing arts that did not understand the depth of what our psyches do in order to survive. I also saw that–the more difficult things get–the more essential become art, dance, poetry and the journey of the soul. But are too easily set aside.
Now, I practice Depth-Somatic therapy. This means listening to the body to help resolve trauma and also to connect with the soul. It is a paradigm of deep listening and honoring, opening to the wholeness of each person, and to the mystery of life. You can call it “trauma work” or “soul retrieval,” it is science and magic. I teach online – yoga, Somatics, hypnotherapy, and breathwork (which are all low-cost or no-cost, in hopes of making this work accessible) as well as doing individual sessions and leading healing retreats where people can get some space from their habits. And – most importantly – I keep going for my own healing and freedom. Diving into the dark and into the light.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
My personal road has not been smooth. What I offer to others is inextricably bound with my own healing. There have been many times when I have reveled in watching the healing of others even though I was in the thick of it myself. And – now – I also get to feel what it is like to support from the other shore. Feeling more on solid ground myself. It has been a long conversation between humility, compassion, empowerment, and gratitude. In some ways, I was dealt a very good hand, and I have also had challenges that many do not overcome. I think there is a tendency to blame one’s self when difficulties happen. But I know that they all are initiations to deeper wisdom, and invitations to go forward in a more compassionate way.
Most times, I have been sent forward by the need to find help for my own suffering and pain. And sometimes, sent forward by my drive towards aliveness and joy. The acknowledgement of the suffering AND the commitment to the mystery of my own life are both a little taboo in the profession I am in. Many influencers and healers think it is important to guide from a place of “having made it.” And – many therapists get that “grey cloud,” where they stay sick themselves as an act of compassion or protest – and as a statement of all that has gone wrong.
For me, it has been essential to give myself the permission to be imperfect AND ALSO the permission to go towards joy. The most important thing for me is to go passionately in the direction of my own healing – and know that it is for the good of all. To not stay small, nor to pretend I am all the way healed. This means sometimes being more gritty and messy than many think I should be. And also means letting it be ok (and, really, essential) to prioritize my own aliveness. Like many of the people I work with, I have the experience of cPTSD. I can feel guilty and bad for having needs. I can feel like I should sacrifice myself for others or stay suffering since others are suffering. It is a very deep journey to see dignity for every situation a human can be in AND to remember that, in order to help others, I must go towards my own good.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about Life Moves Through?
As I mentioned above, I specialize in a Depth-Somatic Paradigm. This means a reverence for the journey of the embodied soul. I work with individuals in therapy using both talk and touch. And I also teach online groups in Hypnosis, Somatics, Breathwork & yoga. And I have weekly in person classes at the beach. I am a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, a Certified Hypnotherapist, MA in Counseling Psychology and Depth….and lots of other wonderful trainings.
Right now, I am most proud of my online Hypnosis Group and Somatic Group. I love getting to guide people in ways that can actually help them heal and the online format allows for the continuous positive connection and support that is needed to re-pattern memories of aloneness, hopelessness, and neglect. I am proud that these groups are running with a strength that allows people who need support to pay less than $5 per group. However – I am more so proud of the people who attend these groups than of myself. I am proud of myself for keeping going through the hard times, but they are the ones who show up and support each other. I am grateful and humbled to watch the healing happen.
What makes you happy?
What makes me happy right now is dancing!
I set this dream aside for a long time. I was too poor, too sick and too different, and didn’t have anyone to tell me to keep going. I see those memes about “what would you say to your younger self?” and I wish I would have had someone to tell me that I could work to make things better. But I simply didn’t know how and had to do my healing journey in other ways. I am so happy to be back now.
To heal from lockdowns (physically, emotionally, and spiritually), I started going to dance. In addition to losing so much of my life as I knew it, for the past couple of years, I have also been healing from what ultimately was diagnosed as a brain injury. Maybe caused by long-covid, maybe being broken by stress, maybe a spiritual awakening, maybe all of these and more – for many months, I could barely see, stand, or talk. I had to learn surrender and acceptance. I didn’t know if I would get better, but I knew that it was important for my body mind and soul to move.
So, I started dancing. Slowly, it brought me back to life.
Now, for the first time in my life, I get to take class several times a week. I get to feel what it is like to be in a process of learning. To get to be imperfect. In the distant past, when I could only take class occasionally, the scarcity created so much pressure and also made it impossible that I could ever meet that pressure. It makes me so happy each morning to drive across town in the sunrise, dance with others and with live music, and just get to do my best. My current teachers are Charlie Hodges and Sadie Black at Westside School of Ballet, finding them was truly evidence of grace. It is clear that they both love teaching. They create a loving environment in their classes where all different sorts of people get to move.
Dance has always been so important to me as a philosophy of life. When I was 14 and had my first dance teacher, Elizabeth Oberstein at El Camino College, she gave me a world where dance as a way of living (and dying) was more important than virtuosity. Even so, it was a long journey to go from dreams of dancing on a stage to just being grateful to have a place in the dance of life. It took me decades to heal the yearning to be seen and to learn just for the joy of it. And maybe there is a chance for me to get to perform and be a part of art again. But, even if not, with all I have made it through, I am just so incredibly grateful to dance.
Pricing:
- Individual sessions are run by sliding-scale.
- I run my online Yoga, Hypnosis and Somatic Groups with a sliding scale. Those who can give more are able to support others and those who need financial support are able to receive it. And everyone together creates a space where each can be held exactly as they are.
- I also teach a Sunday 10 am yoga class at muscle beach – free or by donation
- And a kids Embodied Gymnastics class at the Original Muscle beach $15 or $20 per child
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.lifemovesthrough.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifemovesthrough/
Image Credits
River Photos – Atonka Ma of Nama-Stay Zion
Hands-on therapy Photo – Jameson Reeves
Dance Photo – Genesis Studios – Choreography by Ryan Ruiz
Bhakti Hat Photo – (Shout out to Govid Das & Bhakti Yoga Shala) – Jennifer Lynch
Cloud dance – Camilla Grigggers
Leap & 1984 Olympics – My mom
