Today we’d like to introduce you to Kirk Cunningham.
Hi Kirk, so excited to have you on the platform. So before we get into questions about your work-life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today?
I was born in Inglewood, California to Belizean parents. My mother met my stepfather and moved out to Yucca Valley, where I was raised until the age of twelve. We would visit the rest of our family in Los Angeles once every two weeks for the sake of connectedness, but I was a desert rat at heart. We moved to back to Los Angeles, and I started going to school out there for a year before moving to Moreno Valley, where I would be until I was twenty-three years old. My home life, while there was more to be desired (non-affectionate mother, an emotionally distant stepfather, and being queer in our homophobic culture) wasn’t the worst. I have friends that I have held dear for over twenty years–to which I still keep in contact with today–and I would like to think that the lessons and values that I learned up until that point prepared me for what came next,
I moved to San Francisco when I was twenty-three with the hopes of going to nursing school and frankly, to get out of my mother’s house and Moreno Valley. It’s here where I learned most about who I was as a human being and what it was like to be an adult and rely on myself. There’s a million stories that all contributed to where I am now, and I’m thankful for each of them. I like me. I like where I’m at. They all had their place in shaping me.
I left behind the idea of nursing and finally succumb to the idea of acting, following what I’ve always wanted to do with my life. I went to San Francisco State University for Drama and at the same time, I started working in queer nightlife. I balanced the two until I graduated in 2016. I continued to work in nightlife in the Bay Area as a bar back in several establishments, but none was as pivotal as working at The Eagle in San Francisco. The Eagle was my first step into the world of fetish and kink exploration. Bars like that would soon be the center of my employment and also the grounds for personal exploration. The more I learned, the more I knew about myself…And the more I started to wonder how both aspects of my life could coexist.
In late 2017, I moved back down to Southern California to take acting to the next level. I graduated, and in that time I had a positive relationship with my agents in San Francisco, having to practice and gain experience in auditions and book small work. My bosses at the Eagle referred me to a bar here in Los Angeles which was similar to The Eagle for work. However, The Bullet Bar is more than a place of employment for me. It’s a sense of home. A place to go when the rest of the world seems unfamiliar or uncertain. If the Eagle is where I got to get acquainted with myself as a Leatherman and kinkster, The Bullet, and all that came with it, was the place of practice, development, and shameless self-exploration. Some of that exploration came in the form of pup play!
After keeping this side of myself between me and one of my partners, I finally began to show the world my joy kink! I don’t know if it funneled itself into existence through my love of creating, playing or performing, but pup play (or, for the sake of inclusivity, pet play, as we can be any animal we desire) became an integral part of my identity, and while I knew of other pet players that would come to our bar for the one-off pup events we would have, I knew there was a need for more…Because I was left yearning for more. I talked with my with my boss, and owner of the Bullet, Michael Lara and created a monthly night at my bar that celebrated pup play and those who enjoyed us for being our odd yet, loveable selves. It also served as a central hub to learn about other community members and events. My pup name is Chewi. And I host a pet play party the second Tuesday of every month, Chewi’s Kennel.
Chewi’s Kennel gives pups and other pet players an opportunity to release their inhibitions with like-minded folks who enjoy us for who we are. Our community is constantly growing and evolving to make sure we’re all included and thought of. I feel incredibly lucky to find an aspect of myself that I get to share positively to an ever-expanding group of people who have the same feelings as I do. Any given party has tons of black lights, pup treats (human food in dog bowls) a mosh area (a ten-by-ten play area where we can all roll around), a non-alcoholic drink menu (as a good portion of us don’t drink but still deserve the space), and each other! It really is one of my biggest joys.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
A lot of my transitions in life came as a result of hardships, internal struggles, and points of discontent.
I moved to San Francisco when I was twenty-three with the hopes of going to nursing school and frankly, to get out of my mother’s house and Moreno Valley. To an extent, I needed to escape my life as I knew it. The culture which I grew up in was largely homophobic, and after I came out the desire to be around other people like me became stronger than ever. San Francisco was where I learned most about who I was as a human being and what it was like to be an adult and rely on myself. There wasn’t anyone to watch me, and I was free to make whatever decisions I wanted…and also deal with the consequences. Being too afraid to ask for help led to a moment in time of homelessness, but it also taught me the importance of personal responsibility and that it was entirely up to me on where I would like for my life to go.
Upon leaving San Francisco, I had very little to my name. I felt underappreciated at my job in the castro so I quit. While it led me to finding the Eagle (and ultimately changing my life for the better), there still weren’t enough hours available to live. I booked a few small acting gigs which helped fund my move, and my best friend helped me where he could with packing and other expenses. I dealt with the scarcity of money and recourses as I started anew back in Southern California. This was all happening on top of the fact that I learned that my mother, whom I was coming home to, was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.
The first half of 2018 may have been one of the hardest moments in my life. Sure, I was brimming with hope because I finally felt like I was finding my way and genuinely honest with what I wanted with my life, but at the same time, I was taking care of (and emotionally preparing for the loss of) my dying mother, commuting back and forth to get to work in Los Angeles while living at home again in Moreno Valley, and recovering (again) from financial hardships. As my mother passed, I watched my family and our home split itself apart. While my stepfather has all but disappeared from my life, I still have a healthy and positive relationship with my siblings.
As you know, we’re big fans of you and your work. For our readers who might not be as familiar what can you tell them about what you do?
As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a bartender at a long-standing gay man’s bar in North Hollywood. The Bullet Bar has long been a pillar in the greater Los Angeles fetish and kink community and hosts a myriad of events and nights that one would be hard-pressed to find anywhere else. After four years of learning about myself and working there, I started producing my own events and assisting with others. While I keep myself open to the experimentation of different kinks and fetishes, my home is in pup play, and my pride and joy is Chewi’s Kennel. It’s a night and event that I received way more love than I could’ve imagined was there was available. I never thought that this part of my life would be as public as I’ve made it, but there are no regrets.
Risk taking is a topic that people have widely differing views on – we’d love to hear your thoughts.
Whether we recognize them or not, I feel like we all take risks in our life in some way. The real hurdle is when we acknowledge it as a risk, determine the level of said risk, and do it anyway. It doesn’t always have to be on the level of skydiving or wrestling with lions. Many of us know the risk of applying for jobs and schools where rejection (and the potential blow to self-esteem) is at stake. Some of us take out business loans in the hopes of becoming successful with the looming danger of failure and debt.
Moving from the safety and comforts of home into new, and unfamiliar territory with little resources and money presented its own set of risks. I’ve gambled and lost when I dealt with homelessness. I still wouldn’t trade any of that away.
Though, one of the biggest risks that I have taken in my life was when I moved from a traditional life plan (going to school for a degree that could promise money, respect and prestige) and decided to pursue the things that genuinely have made me happy in my life: creating, pet play, and event producing in the Los Angeles Leather/ Fetish community. There’s little to no certainty of future stability or big expectation of any payouts. However, the joy of knowing that I’ve done something positive for those around me has immense intrinsic value.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bythewaykirby/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PupChewi/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@KirbyDoesNerdyThings/streams
Image Credits
Jamie Kaufman Cameron Thrower PupSnapUK
