Today we’d like to introduce you to Justine Chen.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Justine. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
To me, the growth of my work has followed the growth of me as a person. I’m not completely nostalgic about my childhood now like I used to be when I first moved out to go to college. I see myself growing up as different persons, adjusting to the given environment and trying to relay a sense of self as much as possible.
In high school, I remember seeing a big shift happen in my person. Throughout growing up, I had been a complete extrovert, always outspoken in class discussions or itching to talk to and hang out with friends.
When I fully delved into making work, first starting with photography and later moving towards digital media collage and drawing/painting, I opened up to a more emotional way of processing my world and environment. I started to confront the issues that have plagued me as a kid, like my struggles with cultural identity, gender identity, and mental illness. I learned how to listen better and observe the people who surrounded me. And of course, I began to delve deeper within my interior and learned a lot about the reasons why I acted with a separate exterior shell to the convoluted mess of a relationship I was navigating with myself.
Towards the end of high school, I found filmmaking and felt as though it was the best medium for me to reflect upon my emotions and experiences. For me, I’m still figuring out the intersections of my person, and the contradictions that exist within those intersections. My work is a demonstration of my vulnerabilities or the pain that comes with figuring out a seemingly unending war within yourself. It is a process of understanding the feelings of full isolation that only seems to grow with time, and how my relationship with myself, in turn, affects the ways in which I approach trust and intimacy in my life.
The hope for me would be to feel some kind of understanding with the fact that I have a strong and insatiable desire to be seen fundamentally that may not ever be fulfilled. Some kind of truce or agreement within myself. A Compromise. I’m not sure what that would look like yet. But for now, I’m just looking at the emotional pain that I feel, and understanding how it molds into my life and the way that I am going about it. I’m letting it exist as it is.
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
I am really fortunate to have grown up in a comfortable household with parents that love fervently and have experiences that have stimulated me both intellectually and emotionally. I am privileged in many ways, and it has allowed me to truly delve into what I am interested in, like filmmaking and art.
However, like a lot of individuals, I deal with depression and anxiety. Paired with also being an Asian-American female, I am often not taken seriously by people in my life until I somehow “prove” myself creatively or intellectually. I’ve always felt this constant expectation to show how I belong or how I deserve my place, something I think comes with an identity that is othered in a world plastered with old societal constructs.
It doesn’t stop me from pursuing the line of work I hope to be fully emerged in, but it is extremely difficult to deal with those invalidations when my brain is screaming that I need to disappear, that I am not good enough, and that I am unwanted. It makes it difficult to feel valid in my approach to understanding my complexities and engaging in healthy relationships with other people. But, I am both stubborn and passionate about what I do. These emotions are just a part of the process.
What else should our readers know?
I currently earning my Film/TV Production BFA with music production minor from the University of Southern California. I am practicing my art and using film to help me communicate and understand my relationship with myself. I am working on utilizing various narrative techniques and deeply emotional characters, and hope to experiment more with the ways I use the visual and aural language to tell stories.
Do you look back particularly fondly on any memories from childhood?
A specific memory does not come to mind, but it would probably be something to do with the subtle ways my parents would show affection towards me after we fight or I get scolded.
My dad would get into a reflectional mood after blistering with anger towards me, and talk about his life growing up in Shanghai and what he was like in high school. He doesn’t share much often, but when he does, it is extremely rewarding for me. The choice for him to emotionally cut open another part of his memory for me is a way in which he shows his love.
My mom would always bring me fruit a couple of hours later in the night, and ask me to go to bed soon. She would ask for a hug too and then hold me in her arms. It all helped me learn how differently people communicate their love, and how sometimes the non-verbal and indirect ways of tenderness can do the most good.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://justinechenfilm.com/
- Email: [email protected]
- Instagram: @justinian_c
Getting in touch: VoyageLA is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems, so if you know someone who deserves recognition please let us know here.
