Today we’d like to introduce you to Jessica Santiago.
Hi Jessica, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
After two decades of being a hairstylist on the autism spectrum, masking became nearly impossible for me anymore. I worked in dozens of hair salons in states all around the country. I always hoped to find my salon home but all I ended up finding was toxic work environments that encouraged unhealthy habits, little to no practice of ethical touch, gossip, and cliques. I found myself becoming more and more mentally and physically ill. I knew I couldn’t go on much longer. But it’s all I had ever done and all I thought I was capable of.
Without a college degree and after barely graduating high school, I was convinced that I would end up unable to support myself. I met my partner shortly after and gave him a haircut, he was so blown away by the experience and pitched an idea. What about a hair salon that had a focus on the LGBTQIA+ community? I wasn’t convinced because I had challenging feelings about my own sexuality and didn’t feel like I was capable of holding space for a whole community. I thought I needed to be at peace with my identity, especially concerning my mental health, before I could do anything further with my career. His encouraging words forever changed my life. He said if that remains the truth for the queer community, our youth will never have the representation they/we desperately need. But even long before that, as a child, my stepmom would get her haircut by the navy barbers and when she returned home, she would sit on the toilet and have me make it “more handsome” for her. So maybe this idea started then and just sat there until I met Cal. Either way, we’re honored to be here.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
The last couple of years weighed so heavily on me – I fell into a deep mental health crisis. Thankfully my family rallied around me and raised the resources I needed to begin to heal. I was in a mental health treatment center for almost a year. It was life-altering in so many meaningful ways. It gave me a much-needed reset so I could gain perspective and keep moving ahead with my business. Unfortunately, I’ve had more obstacles and challenges than I knew was even possible. I have this huge dream and for some reason, I thought the world would help me realize that. What I realized instead is that there were a lot of people in my orbit who were disguised as allies, supporters and friends. It’s hard to discern but I keep telling the truth and living out my values and integrity. Now I attract those who actually love and understand me. What I really want people to know is that opening a business isn’t for the faint of heart. We always hear the “rags to riches” story but we never get to hear about the emotional toll of the process. There are going to be people that think they can do it better than you. There are going to be people who break your heart wide open. You may lose yourself and find yourself again a number of times. It’s vulnerable, uncomfortable and sometimes, it feels impossible to continue on.
Focus on the people who believe in your mission and want to rise with you. Be willing to let people go you once thought were your friends or allies. Trust yourself. Trust your gut. When you fall (because you will), cry, laugh, yell; do whatever you need to do. Feel your feelings and don’t be ashamed. You’re a human who is changing the world. Know, you will piss some people off-deal with it. Learn to self-investigate and forgive. Trust me, you’ll have to do that a million times over. Use your voice. Know your city council people and your local politicians. Above all – TAKE CARE. I mean it. Only do what no one else can do in your company. If someone else can do it, delegate it. You must preserve your health at all costs. If your business is the death of you… (mind, body, soul) You have missed the point. Remember, find your personal values and use that as your North star. Finally, bring people with you. This is NOT a solo journey. Lift up as many people as you can along the way. Do it for your soul, not your ego. Do it because it’s the right thing to do. The more we have, the more we ALL have. Love yourself, love each other.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
Benders is a collective of beauty professionals that have a passion for people, hair, art and mental wellness. We’ve all come together to protect and honor underserved communities through trauma-informed wellness and beauty services. We value truth, integrity, respect and most of all QUEERS.
If you had to, what characteristic of yours would you give the most credit to?
To work at Benders one must possess: The ability to give and receive feedback, have hard and respectful conversations, be willing and able to be physiologically flexible, and most of all, do some amazing hair. All of this needs to be done with a compassionate heart, not only to the client but with oneself as well.
Contact Info:
- Website: Salonbenders.com
- Instagram: @salonbenders
- Facebook: @salonbenders
