Today we’d like to introduce you to Holly Sidell.
Holly, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I was born and raised in Los Angeles where, from an early age, I begged my mom to let me perform. She finally relented and I spent much of my childhood happily going to auditions and then on set when I booked something, performing on stage, doing voice-overs, and singing in a socially aware group called the B-Aware Girls (my favorite song went: “You’ve gotta use self-control, but that doesn’t always work, so you have to use birth control.” Not kidding).
As I got older, I fell more in love with stage, and after minoring in theatre at Indiana University, went to study Shakespeare on a course at The Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts in London. When I returned home to LA, I again pursued acting in film and TV, but no longer felt the same passion for those mediums as I did for theatre, and slowly gave up acting.
Unsure what to do next, after having spent my whole life up until then performing, I felt a big pull to be of service and went into to the holistic health, spirituality, and wellness field, studying and becoming certified as a Reiki Master energy healer/teacher and Natural Health Professional/Homeopath, and then opened a healing practice in Santa Monica called Couture for the Soul. From there, I added certifications as a Personal Fitness trainer and group instructor of a fitness class called intenSati, which focuses on bringing mindfulness to workouts.
I started writing about how all of those modalities, and self-awareness, helped me overcome struggles I faced – including those in my dating life – and became a contributor to the Huffington Post and other publications. I eventually closed my healing practice to become a full-time writer, and along with freelance work, was the Senior Writer for a non-profit spiritual organization, where I spent nine years.
But, alas, during that time, my heart would not let me stay away from theatre, which had always been my first love, and I joyfully began performing regularly around L.A. again in 2014. Then, in October 2016, I was diagnosed with aggressive stage 2 breast cancer at the age of 38, and to help me get through it, I started a blog, “So, Apparently I Have Breast Cancer,” in which I shared, no holds barred, the emotional and physical realities of going through such a journey, including a double mastectomy, reconstruction, and chemotherapy. As a carrier of the BRCA 1 hereditary gene mutation, I then got the devastating news that I needed to have more body – and life – altering surgeries.
Going through all of that, I was forced to face, and deconstruct, many of my programmed beliefs, especially around what it means to be a woman, and I knew that when I got out the other side of it, I would try to turn it into something positive; I wanted to share my experience and healing journey as a means to possibly bring solace or hope to anyone who might be suffering.
And then, boom, all the pieces of my life came together: my passion for performing, my love of writing – not just about my cancer journey but about heartaches and relationships, my connection with spirituality and mindfulness, and my desire to use my story as a means to help others who are struggling… and the solo show Deconstructing Holly was born! It is a show that explores “what happens when everything you believe makes you a woman is taken away.” However, it is not just a show about breast cancer; it explores, often with humor (and maybe, possibly, even a lightsaber battle), love and relationships, self-worth, societal and gender expectations and pressures, overcoming disappointment and loss, and, ultimately, triumphing when find our way to who we truly are, underneath it all.
It premiered in March 2020, with two performances to pre sold-out crowds, one associated with Force of Nature Productions in North Hollywood, the other as an official selection of SOLOFEST 2020, the largest solo festival on the West Coast, put on by the Whitefire Theatre in Sherman Oaks. Sadly, the COVID-19 shutdowns came only a few days later. I know how lucky I was to get mine in just in time, when others weren’t able to; I feel very grateful for that, and to have had the opportunity to work with my amazing director, Jonathan Fahn.
I had planned to then perform Deconstructing Holly at the Hollywood Fringe Festival, and take it to other festivals, on the road, and possibly to colleges and conferences that would find its message helpful. But, as we know, all plans have been canceled and put on hold, and so the next iteration of Deconstructing Holly is still TBD. In the interim, I have made the recording of the SOLOFEST performance available “on demand,” with a portion of all proceeds going to local valley theatres in danger of permanently closing due to the shut-downs.
Has it been a smooth road?
Because of COVID-19, theatre, like so many other industries and businesses, is suffering, and that breaks my heart. So, it is a struggle, I think, for all artists currently, to accept this new norm and try to adapt and make the best of it. For me, I struggle with what to do with Deconstructing Holly, and how I can best share its message right now; do I transition it into a different medium, do I put it on other sorts of platforms, or do I just leave it and have faith that one day theatre will re-open and I can perform it again? It’s hard after having worked so tirelessly on something and investing (and then losing) so many resources; a reality countless people are dealing with, unfortunately.
What has been the proudest moment of your career so far?
When I was sick, there were times I didn’t know if I’d ever even be on stage again, let alone be on stage by myself for 63 minutes, playing over 20 different people from my life! Performing a show I wrote about my journey, a show that I hope can be of service, and hearing the laughter and the tears, seeing faces of people who are so special to me from different areas and times of my life as they stood during my curtain call… man, that was a pretty damn proud moment. I had survived and accomplished what I had hoped: to turn it into something positive and purposeful, all while getting to be up there doing what I love, and seeing that I can actually somehow maybe make at least a tiny bit of a difference.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.deconstructingholly.com
- Email: [email protected]
- Instagram: @hollyjsidell
- Twitter: @HollySidell
Image Credit:
First Headshot: Jessica Sherman Prince, Performance shots: Patricia Maureen Photography
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