Today we’d like to introduce you to Tasneem Noor.
Let’s start with your story. We’d love to hear how you got started and how the journey has been so far.
I am always surprised when I meet people my age and older who don’t have a passport and don’t even think of it unless they have an international trip coming up. And even so, as an American traveling to many other countries like Mexico and places in Europe, it is a breeze—no long lines and ambiguous timelines to get a visa— just book a flight and show up! I, on the other hand, had a passport as soon as I was born. Although born in Pakistan, where my mom is from, my early childhood years were spent in India, my dad’s home country. When I was about six years old, we moved to Dubai for a better life because my dad’s business was suffering from Hindu Muslim riots in the small university town of Aligarh. At age 12, I moved to Pakistan for three years with my mom and siblings because my brother had an accident and we were hoping he would get better treatment in Pakistan and get back on his feet. Unfortunately, that never happened—my brother is on a wheelchair for life with limited physical mobility. Exhausting all medical possibilities in Pakistan, my family came to Los Angeles, CA and I have been here ever since! I see the United States as my third home country after Pakistan and India. And Dubai? Well… Dubai will always be a special destination.
I share all this to show that my life has been one of navigating through differences—countries, languages, cultures, religions, values, dressing styles, food, and ways of living. I grew up celebrating the Hindu festivals like Diwali and Holi while waking up early for Eid (Muslim holiday) prayers at home and wanting to decorate Christmas trees. I speak Hindi, Urdu, and English fluently but have also dabbled with Arabic and Spanish. I lead two nine-month-long relationship-building programs to strengthen partnerships between Muslims and Jews—two groups not expected to get along. I am the only Muslim Interfaith-minister-in-residence with the Episcopalian Diocese. In one day, I have spoken to Evangelical Christians and Atheists! And I love Thai food as much as pizza, burgers, Indian curries, and dosas (South Indian crepes). In fact, this navigation of differences is a gift from my ancestors!
For at least the last eight-plus generations, my family has been rooted in the Indian subcontinent. When the India Pakistan partition was happening, one of my paternal great-grandfathers was working arm in arm with Mahatma Gandhi, and all his life worked towards strengthening Hindu-Muslim relations and dedicated his life to the community. When Pakistan was founded in 1947, he adamantly said, “India is my home. Why would I go anywhere else?” At the same time, my maternal great-grandfather said, “Pakistan is the home for Muslims. Why would I live here?” He uprooted his whole family and business to move to Pakistan. Third great-grandfather of mine was already established in the part of Punjab that ended up becoming a part of Pakistan. And he chose to stay where his home was; got a high ranking post in the Pakistani army and led the first India Pakistan war. You see, differences are in my blood! You can still see the effects of this dynamic in my larger family. A friend of mine joked, “You are a walking united nations!”
Great, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall, and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Every now and then, an overwhelming feeling of gratitude hits me as a reminder of my many blessings. And having said that, of course, there have been struggles. Life wouldn’t be meaningful or fulfilling without them. It is these struggles that have stretched me and motivated me to grow, learn, and be better. For me, the relationship building and connecting with people (no matter how different than me) comes naturally, and I enjoy it. What has been challenging is looking at myself in the mirror and discovering my own worth, daring to dream big, and then finding the courage to walk towards my dream. My dream is simple yet massive. Being The Faith Connector especially in this day and age is scary when hateful rhetoric, fear-mongering, and suspicion of religion, Islamophobia (along with anti-semitism and all the other “isms”) is more so the norm than the exception.
When I came to Los Angeles as a 15-year-old, I had no sense of individual identity or dreams. My identity was closely aligned to my familial roles of daughter, sister, cousin, grand-daughter, etc. I just wanted to live a simple, happy life with my family and friends. With a high value on individualism here in America, I soon started facing questions I had never even imagined! Simple things like, “what do YOU like?; what do YOU want to do?; what are YOUR strengths? What is important to YOU?” In the midst of this cultural shock where all of a sudden people outside of my immediate family had expectations of me, 9/11 hit and I also had to figure out my Muslim identity.
I had grown up silenced—although I had a whole lot of curious questions, I never asked them. I hardly knew what I wanted, but even when I did, I never voiced it or trusted it. Finding my voice and the confidence to stand in my powerful mission has been a struggle. Inviting people to join me in my mission has felt intimidating, scary, and highly vulnerable. Playing it safe and staying small served me until I couldn’t anymore! I left my five-year job at Cal State Los Angeles to pursue my dreams, and five years later, I am still finding my voice, fine-tuning my message and overcoming the daunting question of “who am I” to coach and train faith leaders to build bridges of compassion and non-judgment?
Alright – so let’s talk business. Tell us about The Faith Connector – what should we know?
As The Faith Connector, I help faith leaders build a stronger interfaith community and navigate through difficult conversations with curiosity, authenticity, and non-judgment.
I am inspired by the verse in the Quran that says, “O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you (best in conduct). And God has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).”
It is my belief that the diversity is intentional and it is when we come together in the spirit of getting to know one another with respect, compassion, and curiosity, that is when magic happens—doors of possibilities and peace open up. And I am committed to opening as many doors of the hearts as possible. Through retreats, workshops, online programs, coaching programs, and speaking, I invite people to have more authentic connections; honest conversations, and respectful collaborations. My clients learn to build the muscle to engage in difficult conversations and deepen their faith in themselves and their potential to serve in bigger ways.
While there are many amazing organizations and individuals doing much needed interfaith work to bring people of different religious and non-religious backgrounds together, most are hesitant to talk about the questions that are deep in people’s hearts. Questions like, “How do you navigate through the different claims to superiority?; What about the disconnect between faith and action?; How do you account for people claiming love and mercy but then acting violently?; Does religion divide or unite; How do we work with other religions and group without addressing the current and historical wounding by those groups?
At The Interfaith Leaders retreat and Curious Connections online workshops, I address these questions head-on. My willingness and commitment to celebrating our differences set our work apart from others. While I agree that we must acknowledge our similarities and shared values in order to build trust, that is only the first step. And unfortunately, a lot of people stop there out of intimidation, politeness, fear of offending, being judged or rebuked and interfaith work gets a bad rap for preaching to the choir. My work is of fine-tuning the choir and moving beyond kumbaya for sustainable relationships. This is the work of The Faith Connector.
Is there a characteristic or quality that you feel is essential to success?
I am not the president or prime minister of anything! I am not an ordained religious leader. I don’t have a Ph.D. in public speaking. I am a young woman born out of Indian and Pakistani parents who has lived in four different countries and has a calling in my heart to stop the hatred. Stop judging, hurting, dismissing, and de-humanizing others because they have different beliefs or lifestyles than you.
I am just a young woman with a big heart and a bigger, deeper faith in God to guide me, nourish me, hold me, and ultimately use me for good. In short, I’d say, be it internal struggles of finding my voice, confidence, and self-worth or external ones like creating a sustainable business practice, supporting my family, or making difficult decisions like leaving my job and break-off an engagement, my secret of success has been my faith.
And while I am a devout Muslim, I am not talking about my faith in the Islamic tenants. I am talking about that intimate, grounding presence I feel within me and around me. That grounding presence nourishes and holds me so that I am anchored in humility, compassion, hope, gratitude, love, and determination to focus on my efforts while letting go of the need for guarantees or attachment to results. This grounding presence is the source of deep knowing, deep trust and peace; and this is what I call faith. My faith is my biggest strength!
Contact Info:
- Website: TheFaithConnector.com ; TheFaithConnectionBook.com ; MJNewGround.org ; InterfaithLeadersRetreat.
eventbrite.com - Email: Tasneem@TheFaithConnector.com
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