Today we’d like to introduce you to CTLN
Hi CTLN, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
My path has already been laid out for me since before I was born. My job throughout my life has simply been to rise to the occasion and embody who I’ve Known I Am. I’ve always had this deep inner Knowing and fire inside that I was born to lead and inspire others to come with me on a path towards ultimate liberation. The best part is that all I have to do is walk the walk and show up as my full Self. It’s the act of giving myself permission to be free that inspires others to do the same for themselves, regardless of external circumstances.
This purpose ties all the back to when I was accidentally burned by hot water by my babysitter at eight months old while she was giving me a bath in the kitchen sink. This innate confidence and resilience I’ve always had is this exact Spirit speaking through me. It’s a mix of profound childhood naivety and unshakeable trust in who I Am. I often receive other people’s projections and limiting beliefs in how they look at me, react to my story, don’t even acknowledge this side of me out of awkwardness, or how the media depicts people with scars or physical differences. Yet, this has only made my path clearer. By serving as a mirror for people to see their own limiting beliefs, they may begin to heal and transform.
It’s been a privilege to grow up in a uniquely shaped body and not be defined by it. My parents let me discover how else I stood out, and boy did I find I was an eclectic kid. The scars simply highlighted and accentuated that intrinsic part of me. I wore the brightest and most outrageous clothing. I can be sassy and do my best to speak my mind even when I’m scared to. I have been singing since I can remember, and I’ve always had this dream of being a full-time artist, a musician and actor specifically. As I’ve gotten older, the importance of pursuing my dreams has grown exponentially. I’ve never seen anyone who authentically looks like me in the mainstream media, and I’ve been so excited to be the first. I don’t want to be tokenized in the diversity/inclusivity niche. I don’t want to be the sidekick, as I’ve often felt like in friendships and on stage. I want to be upfront where everyone else is, in my main-character energy, as someone who just happens to also have burn scars. I want to remind people that being different IS the normal human experience.
Growing up primarily in NJ, I was an Alto II in choir, did musical theatre, monologue competitions, and a cappella groups. I went to Boston University for acting school where I began learning my body, my Voice, my traumas, and my habits in ways I could have never imagined. I’m a firm believer that acting training is life training at the end of the day. I now love infusing my theatrical side into my music and visuals. I was a senior in college when the COVID-19 pandemic hit, two weeks away from my senior thesis. I hit rock bottom pretty quickly. When the world stopped, I was forced to confront the part of me that needed to keep moving in order to feel worthy. I began diving deeper into my yoga practice simultaneously as a way to learn myself from the ground up and figure out how I got here. The process of getting my yoga teacher training certification COMPLETELY and quickly changed my life and how I view the world. Yoga also made me realize that I am wasting my time on Earth doing anything but what I’m truly called to do: music. I was always afraid of singing in public, even though I did it so much, because I didn’t think I was good enough. However, I’ve found the deeper I know myself, the better I sound and the better artist I am. It’s because my voice and Voice are now grounded in my body and connected to my soul, and people feel that. Being an artist is quite spiritual for me, and this Spirit brought me all the way to LA two years ago to actualize my calling!
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Since moving to LA, it has been anything but a smooth road. I expected difficulty, especially when you’re on the right path, but nothing like this. I moved to LA because of this opportunity to be mentored by the famous Pop producers, Stargate, for 9 months at their mentorship program called LAAMP. When I made the move, over half of my friends from college or post-grad stopped talking to me suddenly. I also had a culture shock in my own country when I was quickly and harshly absorbed in the flaky, self-absorbed, unsupportive culture of the music business. But I soon realized this was the general mood in LA as a whole, just exacerbated in the entertainment industry. I have never felt more alone in my life although I’m constantly surrounded by new people every day. I did meet my first love right when I moved here, which has transformed my world, my spirit, and my songwriting. Unfortunately, he proved himself to be just like everyone else I was meeting in LA with his disloyalty, dishonesty, and lack of self-awareness. On top of that, I was sexually assaulted a few months later by someone who I truly thought was everything my last love was not. Throughout all of this, though, I have built incredible resilience and grit in my art that was always there, just underdeveloped. It has lit an even bigger fire in me to fulfill my purpose, because committing to myself and my Truth is inherently healing no matter the outcome.
Of course not everyone in LA is like this, and so my journey since moving here has been to find my people who value community, maturity, communication, spirituality, and authenticity. Fortunately, I have been slowly building that community which feels amazing and healing. The life of an artist breeds and encourages loneliness, but I refuse to succeed that way and succumb to the norm. I never have anyway, and I’m not about to start now…
Appreciate you sharing that. What else should we know about what you do?
I am an artist at heart, even in how I choose to craft my life in the real world. My primary artistic mediums are music (singing, songwriting, and producing) and acting. I approach my music and visuals through a theatrical lens, which feels like an authentic integration of both my artistic mediums. By treating my songwriting, performing, and visuals as more of a theatrical expression of my lived experiences, it helps me transcend the experience itself into something healing that I am proud of. It’s an opportunity to say something real and inspiring within the realm of entertainment. I am most proud of my music videos for this reason because they’re the culmination of my music and acting backgrounds, and they allow me to exercise my passion for directing. I’ve directed, produced, starred in, and edited all of my music videos. My favorite one so far is for “CAN WE SURVIVE? pt. 2” that my good friends from acting school helped bring to life. This video is the best example of how I bring my two worlds together. Go check it out 😉
Understanding my role as an artist while staying true to who I Am really sets me apart from others. Everything I do is so intentional and so me, including how I theatricalize my real-world experience while remaining very intimate and raw. The act of me living out loud as an artist who has burn scars is inherently socio-political and groundbreaking, whether I explicitly talk about it or not. That REALLY sets me apart from others.
How do you think about luck?
I notice I’ve become more “lucky” as I embody my highest self and embrace the incredible luck I already have in my life. As I align myself with more love, gratitude, purpose, and Oneness, I see it reflected back in my life tenfold. The Universe is ALWAYS supporting you. If you believe you’re unlucky, more bad luck will come to you because you’re subconsciously looking for more reasons to validate your unluckiness. I’m speaking from experience. But, what you place you attention on grows, so be intentional about what that is.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ctln_fischer?igsh=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
- Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/@CTLNfischer
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@ctln_fischer?_t=8pJY9nMKOzP&_r=1
Image Credits
Main Photo – Jazz: Brendan Babinski
Flowers Photo: Sydney Angel
Single Flower at heart photo: Chris Grey
Studio Photo in White Shirt: Elliston Lutz
Naked on Couch: Erica Brandell
Dark Ethereal Photo: Sydney Angel
