Meet Christa Bullock of Out of the Red Relationships in Koreatown

Thanks for sharing your story with us Christa. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
Currently, I’m focused on building my second business venture as a mindful dating coach with holistic emphasis on wellness, self-empowerment, and what being a goddess is! I’ve also started speaking with men and finding out that I may be helping them more than women after all!

Prior to this, I was street selling tamale after quitting my cushy restaurant management job for a celebrity chef here in LA. The tamale endeavor thankfully has started to blossom so I can focus fully on my coaching.

I know, you’re still thinking…So how did you get here?

So here’s some memories in no particular order to explain a little.

Memory 1: For almost four years, I dated a man who may have suffered depression. Then I found a tampon in his trash. This wasn’t the first time he cheated. I learned rebuilding tactics after really allowing myself to be cheated on and not valuing myself in a relationship. This encompasses basically years of time, but I’ll write the rest of the memoir later. Overall, the process of rebuilding myself after pain, lack of self-confidence, and swearing off men all together was a difficult task to keep it light. It took years, literally years, to just start to understand how clear the path to dating better and confidently can be. When I was single, I was giving friends and co-workers dating advice regularly. I referenced Breakfast at Tiffany’s often back then. Date for the dinner I would say. That was then. I’ve grown.

Memory 2: After touring with a Russian ballet company as a photographer, I got engaged in Mongolia and learning that my marriage visa would not be approved. This was a long confusing heartbreak. This is also when I first began to wrap my mind around the understanding that women are very powerful in this world and that others can’t love us fully until we love ourselves. The goddess I refer to and the goddess I am.

Memory 3: Meeting my partner in the wintertime is such a cherished memory; both of us feeling a very calm, obvious love. It was like “Oh yeah, we’re gonna be together through hot and cold!” Before we met, he was already practicing meditation and reading tons of books among many other wellness practices. I’ve focused heavily on many of my best habits after we met. We have consistent conversations on relationships, mindfulness, business, and growth, mostly because we don’t own a tv! I can’t imagine a better partner to learn from, but also positively impact others with through sharing good.

Memory 4: When I went to see dinosaur statues at the Crystal Palace, I didn’t think I would fall down the stair on a bus in London and break my hand two days before starting my new job as a restaurant manager training in Vegas. But of course that happened. That has truly become one of the best occurrences in my life. It caused me to begin analyzing time and the choice of who we spend it with, for how long, where, and what we do. It also helped me to understand how small we our on the planet and although our imperfections are all we tend to focus on, most people aren’t looking at us; they are doing the same things to themselves.

The in-between: When I was selling tamales on the street, definitely a story for a different day; my meditation, daily gratitude, and overall wellness started becoming habitual. I desired more of a purpose and began analyzing what I loved to do and how I could enrich people’s lives. I was starting deeper conversations with women I would meet and talk to them longer to try to see how I fit into the mix. That’s when the realization came full circle that relationships and dating are what I have the most experience with. It has literally been where I shine brightest and I love helping women date confidently past all the hurt, lack of self-love, and just confusion. Everything I’ve seen and experienced certainly has guided me to help others know what not to do! Oh, and did I mention I’m encouraging people to meet in person. #antiswipe

My experience has also put me in a position to say dating doesn’t need to be scary or intimidating or confusing. It should be fun. If you are not having fun, then come talk to me.

Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
Not smooth of course. If it was easy, then it wouldn’t be interesting. Finding joy in the challenges and seeing how that becomes part of our story is why we do anything.

Fear, lack of confidence or disbelief in ourselves, anger, sadness, health issues, feeling trapped in a situation, balancing feminism and femininity, independence, the desire to be wanted but not catcalled; I’ve felt all these before and I’m sure many other women have.

Two things that really stick out to me though are guilt and shame; very useless emotions that hold you back.

I learned while street selling tamales that shame is a feeling that can hold you back from getting what you want because you are worried about what others think of you. It is not a feeling we were born with and it has taken me plenty of stone cold laughs in the face to start shedding shame from my life, but once you do, oh yeah you start feeling free!

I’ve also been talking to a lot of women about guilt lately. I’ve felt it. Why do we as women seem to feel guilty? Like we haven’t done enough for the people around us, like we should’ve accomplished more, looked better, and then, to top it off, we feel guilty for not taking better care of ourselves and for feeling guilty all day! We feel guilty for feeling guilty! Too many women are spending their day this way! Let’s open up the conversation to stop this.

Alright – so let’s talk business. Tell us about Out of the Red Relationships – what should we know?
I am a mindful dating coach for women who want to spend their life loving and growing with a humble, honest man. I focus on wellness and holistic methods to make self-love the primary method of dating confidently.

Since this support is new as a business venture, I am currently conducting market research to understanding more about who I am truly here to support.

More and more gay and straight men are reaching out to ask questions about dating for a serious relationship I’m finding out! I love having open conversations with all these men who really want a partner, but are experiencing identical issues in dating that women are. We need more men who aren’t afraid to ask questions in order to get a more fulfilling life! MEN: Let’s chat!

I am definitely not interested in helping anyone refine their swipe apps! I think this is a big differentiator for me. We’ve become so impersonal and that has been harmful to the integrity of all of our relationships. I even struggle putting down my phone sometimes!

Coming from the restaurant industry, I am seeing so much the importance of food and dating. I’m integrating this with my coaching since food is my second love by incorporating healthy eating, all things food on dates, and even at home recipes for those who want impress with cocktails or a dinner, but suck at cooking. Call me the Dinner Date Coach maybe lol!

I’m very proud of recently becoming certified in mindfulness and NLP, both which allow me to understand how we communicate with others and what we believe in ourselves. It gives me a deeper understanding of the brain’s wiring and how I can best help my clients.

However, I’m also known for giving it to you straight. The nudge, the push to take risks, the accountability is there. Friend or client, you are getting the truth from me.

Any shoutouts? Who else deserves credit in this story – who has played a meaningful role?
My granddad just passed away and I could attribute my love of life experiences and trying new things to him. Growing up, I always saw him testing his talent at something new.

My love and partner who believes in me more than anyone I know. He is such a positive light for everyone he meets. I admire who he is daily. Thank you for being on this planet!

My mother-in-law and little sister-in-law for unquestionable contribution to the tamale company. The development in place now is from all the love put forth there.

The random midwest girl who basically met me in the rain with a cooler. It’s not as common to see two white girls selling tamales.

My mom and my family back in AZ for never stifling me with rules, creating the open mind and experienced soul I am thus far.

All the people that made me want leave a bad living or work situation for something else. Without that dissatisfaction, I would have never transitioned. Thank you for making me uncomfortable. Truly. Thank you.

All the ended relationships. Especially the bad ones. Thank you for the stories and experiences to learn from.

Pricing:

• Offering 20 minutes free coaching & 3 Strategies to Becoming a More Confident Dater This Week for answering a few market research questions. This is a no sale, no pitch opportunity! If you are single and sick of the way dating has turned out for you, then let’s chat briefly!