Today we’d like to introduce you to Brian Stefan.
Hi Brian, it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?
Having lost a good friend and colleague to suicide, I became interested in hopelessness, helplessness, disconnection, and the “suffering in silence” that often accompanies suicidality. Today I’m proud to be a grief therapist and suicide prevention professional.
I am a former US Department of Defense intelligence officer (and intelligence analyst with the FBI-LAPD Joint Regional Intelligence Center in Los Angeles). I never imagined I would be working in a “helping profession,” but talking, listening, and witnessing clients share honestly about their personal stories and feelings has brought to my life a profound sense of satisfaction and service.
I began my journey in 2015 as a volunteer suicide crisis counselor at Didi Hirsch Mental Health Services Suicide Prevention Center. I also began to volunteer with the Los Angeles Mayor’s Office Crisis Response Team, which is a program started more than 20 years ago to provide immediate emotional and practical support to anyone impacted by a death (e.g., homicides, suicides, accidental deaths, and natural deaths). These two volunteer opportunities changed my life and as a result I returned to graduate school to receive my Master of Social Welfare (MSW) from UCLA.
Today I am a grief/traumatic grief therapist with Therapy Heals private practice and San Gabriel Valley Grief Resource and Training Center non-profit. I see individuals and groups dealing with the inevitable pain and heartbreak around the death of a loved one. We believe in affordable grief therapy for EVERYONE.
I often think about my friend who died by suicide. I think about her at the end of a hard day or the beginning of a daunting one. The connection, trust, and love I learned from her is something that I share with others, whether it be clients, colleagues, friends, or family. And I can now share that love with myself.
In programs of recovery it is said that “the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, the opposite of addiction is connection.” I believe this is true with respect to suicide: the opposite of suicide is not merely to stay alive. The opposite of suicide is connection: connection to others, a meaningful life, and to oneself.
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey have been a fairly smooth road?
Somewhat!
I have found that to be of support to clients as a mental health professional, I must continue to heal my wounds and look at myself with a kind, patient, tender, and curious gaze. This is a daily effort, and somedays it feels like a battle. But many days, it feels like I am coming home to myself and learning to love myself the way that I wish to be loved.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I am a clinical social worker (Associate Clinical Social Worker [ACSW] working towards licensure) specializing in suicide, grief/traumatic grief, crisis response, and anxiety/intrusive thoughts.
I am most proud that as a mental health professional, I can remain true to my identity and personality AND help people help themselves.
I also co-facilitate groups for people with anxiety/intrusive thoughts.
I am very proud to have created with a colleague Mariela Bravo a monthly mindfulness, deep suffering/suicide prevention, and community group through InsightLA in Los Angeles. Our group is called H.O.P.E. Affinity and Practice Group (Healing Ourselves through the Present Experience). Anyone who has been touched by deep suffering in any way (or is curious to know more about deep suffering) is welcome 🙂
We all have a different way of looking at and defining success. How do you define success?
Being present when other people are talking and sharing. Everything I need is in this present moment.
Also, when I can remember the platinum rule: treat others as THEY would wish to be treated!
Bringing kindness, curiosity, humility to my work and “success” is achieved when people working with me can be honest, vulnerable, and take the steps they need.
Ram Dass — “We’re all just walking each other home.”
Contact Info:
- Email: brian@wecantalkaboutsuicide.org
- Website: https://www.wecantalkaboutsuicide.org/
- Website: https://
sangabrielvalleygrief.org/ - Website: https://therapyheals.
com/ - Website: https://didihirsch.
org/services/suicide- prevention/therapy-support/ - Website: https://lacrt.org/
- Website: https://
suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
National Suicide Prevention LifelineWe can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals.
