Today we’d like to introduce you to Brenda Crouch.
Brenda, please share your story with us. How did you get to where you are today?
I was raised in what most would consider a perfect home, gifted with music where I learned to perform by the age of two singing with my family. However, the effects of generational abuse, which manifested through my father’s family became my reality when I was eight years old making me a victim of sexual abuse and trauma, creating a deep sense of shame in the shaping of my identity at this early age. This secret was compartmentalized for many years and never talked about until my father’s confession on his death bed, where he wept profusely asking my forgiveness.
Psychological research reveals that often children who have been sexually traumatized will compartmentalize the event(s) deep within their subconscious as a survival mechanism. Such was my case for many years until I began to have resurfacing memories through reoccurring dreams. These dreams were repetitive and graphic illustrations of my abuse starting from my late teens and lasting well into my mid-twenties. They seemed to probe at the shame embedded in my soul and eventually caused me to begin my own autopsy through professional counseling, evaluating my broken relationships, severe anxieties and self-hatred.
By this time of my life, I had survived domestic violence in marriage through physical, verbal and mental abuse, having cleverly hidden my bruises from the outside world while maintaining a career in modeling and entertainment. The mending of broken bones and the emotional effects of having loaded guns held to my head were devastating but the wounds of my soul were not as easy to heal.
Research also reveals that when children are forced to traumatically bond with “good parent” / “bad parent” through sexual abuse coupled with the natural needs of a child from their parent as protector, provider, source of love and affirmation, they will take these unhealthy dynamics into their future relationships, not understanding that love doesn’t do those things. I survived not one, but two abusive marriages as a result of wanting to be loved but not understanding what healthy love looked like. The trauma of mental illness coming from my partners was mind-bending and took its toll on me for years, but ultimately these experiences have equipped me with knowledge and compassion for those who are hurting and broken in one form or another.
My wake up call came through having a daughter (my only child) realizing that if I stayed in the abuse, she too, would be a victim and I must do for her what I had not known how to do for myself! I learned to do the hard work of loving myself enough to set new boundaries, break old habits, change my victim mindsets and find out who I authentically was as I courageously removed my protective mask in the mirror of my faith!
It has been a long, arduous journey in many ways but I have been strengthened by difficulties and have learned the invaluable lessons of accountability for my choices in life. This reality is empowering and gives me the freedom to conquer whatever challenges lie ahead of me with positivity and confidence. We were all intended to find purpose and meaning in this world and that can only come through authentic love. When love is defined as something toxic and hurtful it is like drinking poison as a replacement for the genuine article and it must be redefined by truth.
I am currently a speaker, author and TV Host with my husband Paul Crouch Jr. I spent most of 2019 promoting my book tour for my first book – FIGHT FORWARD: Reclaim The Real You. It is a vulnerable account of my life story, woven into the invaluable lessons and encouraging faith-building tools, discovered on my journey to wholeness and happiness! It doesn’t matter how deep we lie in our pit of pain… there is hope, healing and restoration available to those who will seek it.
Overall, has it been relatively smooth? If not, what were some of the struggles along the way?
There were emotional and financial struggles along the way to my freedom but I found my inner Peace and provision through my faith. I was a partially self-taught interior designer living in the design mecca of Dallas, TX and unsure of where life would take me but I believed for something bigger than where I had been!
Through hard work, diligence and an attitude of faith in God, I worked my way to becoming a top corporate office designer for a major Government related company, known for producing both commercial and military products. The way I look at it is, I could have chosen to play it safe and “stay small” by listening to my fears or choosing the easy way out of things, but I chose to believe that with God, all things were possible and in hindsight, I’m convinced they were!
All these experiences enlarged me as a person and built my confidence enough to do what I do today! I can easily look back and recognize what “wanted to happen” in my life… but it required my participation with every step. I am a collective soul and what didn’t break me made me better not bitter.
We’d love to hear more about your work.
I am the founder of a 501c3 company – Brenda Crouch Ministries, Inc. Our purpose is to inspire and empower others to fight back against the lies of abuse or damaging mindsets, which lead us into despair and poverty. There is a better way available and you don’t have to do it alone. My focus is to encourage people that God loves them and He is there to carry them through it! He has a plan and a purpose for all of us, we simply have to trust the process.
My ministry is set apart from others in the sense that I am living proof of my message and have chosen to be vulnerable enough to help others come free from their emotional and physical prisons. My hope is that the cycles of abuse will be broken through those who choose to step up and be the change that former generations failed to! We have so much to be thankful for as humans and so much to protect going forward. To do that we must first understand who and what we are protecting our most valuable assets from.
I specialize in mentoring young women and speaking into the lives of anyone needing a second chance! I am a huge encourager to those who are ready to fight for their future!
If you had to go back in time and start over, would you have done anything differently?
I would love and accept myself much sooner! It took me a long time to learn the difference between a counterfeit identity and my authentic one.
Pricing:
- My book is available on Amazon or Barnes & Noble Stores – $17.99
Contact Info:
- Address: 8502 E. Chapman Ave. Ste # 250
Orange, CA 92869 - Website: www.brendacrouch.com
- Email: [email protected]
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brenda_crouch/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BrendaCrouchMinistries/?ref=bookmarks
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/BrendaLCrouch
Image Credit:
Headshot & Lifestyle Images credits: Trever Hoehne & Paul Crouch Jr.
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