We’re looking forward to introducing you to Lost Angeles. Check out our conversation below.
Hi Lost, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to share your story, experiences and insights with our readers. Let’s jump right in with an interesting one: What is a normal day like for you right now?
I chose this answer because it’s kind of depressing but something I wanted to be vulnerable about. I deal with major depression and anxiety and had a very turbulent first half of the year that’s led me to where I’m at now. With the new administration coming in, and the city literally being on fire, I really fell off of my wellness and medication journey. I’m currently working as an after school program leader out of financial necessity to help keep me afloat while I get my health back together. It’s a draining job and I wish I could dedicate my emotional capacity to my art and fighting for my community, but I’m grateful I get to help facilitate a safe space for our youth. I’m working on a mixtape bit by bit but am currently mostly in survival mode and trying to get my health together so I can re-ignite my own spark and find my way into a more consistent artistic journey that can still sustain me. I’m lucky to still be co-producing theatre and drag shows here and there along with sound designing (most recently Spring 2024 at The Victory Theatre Center in Burbank for Four Women in Red, and this upcoming spring for Red Harlem at Company of Angels in Boyle Heights). A normal day is one of immense fear and fighting til the next day I’m in a space where I can be my boldest self as an artist, surrounded by others making art and challenging the systems that oppress us.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My name is Jose Medrano Velazquez and I’m a multidisciplinary artist in the performing arts. I have a B.A. in Theatre from Cal State Northridge and graduated Fall 2019, right before we entered a global pandemic. Since 2018, I’ve been most deeply connected to my music project, Lost Angeles, which focuses on navigating dystopia through queer fantasy and synthpop. Lost Angeles and me as a person are heavily inspired by science fiction and fantasy and how they’re juxtaposed against the real world horrors marginalized communities face on a daily basis, as well as the mental health struggles I’ve dealt with since childhood. My family raised me on Latin freestyle and 80s synthpop, and I grew up obsessed with 2010s pop music divas. I think I come from a unique position because of my struggles and the tremendously slow pace I’ve unfortunately had to move in. I think it’s allowed me to really operate from a place of deep intention: I make art that makes me feel alive, in hopes that I can help others feel the same. Since middle school I did after school theatre which led me to my current path. I love theatre and consider my music theatre as well. Theatre is a beautiful place that encourages self expression through various mediums. I’m often the pop-theatric in the space with a taste for the avant-garde. I like to create worlds with my art: the aesthetics of the world in its visuals and colors and motifs, the sounds and textures, the poetry and execution of trying to put loose imaginary threads into a tangible moment that an audience can experience and take something from.
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. What was your earliest memory of feeling powerful?
It’s maybe not one memory but a collection of things from my youth that feel like my deepest truth throughout my life: I was born to be a performer. When I was a little kid I really loved Hilary Duff/Lizzie McGuire and this was my first introduction to music. This naturally leads into Hannah Montana as well and then Lady Gaga. I had a Pirates of the Caribbean notebook that I’d write song lyrics in as well as my own. My cousins and I would have these little concerts on my porch where we’d scream gibberish songs out loud and it gave me such joy pretending to be a popstar. I remember one October my cousin Vicky had a Hannah Montana wig and my mom had a vampiress wig that I stole. I snuck over to her place next door and we put the wigs on and lip-synched in the mirror. At kids’ parties where the parents would throw little games for guests – I’d always win the dancing competition. To quote Gaga, I lived for the applause. I’d love performing at school events. I did chorus in elementary school, after school theatre in middle school, and would randomly burst out in theatrics throughout high school. So many adults in my life championed my expression and told me I was meant to be someone. So now, I’m heartbroken to be in the situation I’m in where I’m not hitting the potential I wish I could,
but my earliest memories of feeling powerful were those moments where I was affirmed that sharing my truth made others smile and happy. That I wasn’t too much. That the things I had to say and the ways I expressed myself were valuable and important. That’s true power: knowing you are worthy.
When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
I think I’m really learning to alchemize the pain despite my circumstances and learning how to recognize my truth more deeply and really fight for myself. I have always been an open book and someone who talked nonstop. I don’t think I’ve ever hidden my pain from anyone or in my art. I’ve always been a fighter, but now I think my technique is just improving. The ways I articulate myself are improving. I think my experience getting my theatre degree, my time in DTLA queer arts spaces, and the harsh truths we’ve been beat with since the pandemic have really woken and shook me up. I’m operating from a place of love but also retribution. I’m still learning but I now recognize more deeply all the systems that have harmed my family and my ancestors that are actively harming me and my community. I take some responsibility for my flaws but also realize that this world has systemically been set up for people like me to suffer and fail. At this point I simply refuse to be destroyed and am doing all I can to turn this pain into rage for myself and my people. Oppressed people are entitled to their rage and their glory. My art and music has always been personal but now it’s very much a battle cry unlike it’s been before. My work is more desperate, more eager. I still make dark synthpop but I find it shifting more into dance music as I feel the need for my body to move, to explode, to push itself to its limits (while finding the healthiest ways for me to do so, of course). I have a song which opens my current live shows and is the first track on my upcoming mixtape, IRIS, called PILEDRIVE. The opening lyric is simple : “HARDER. FASTER. GIVE ME MORE.” I don’t seek to invite violence in my life but I do seek to rise to the challenge. Like a pile driver does, I’m laying a new foundation with this next chapter. A foundation built on fury, queer and ancestral rage, but also fantasy and joy. Fighting for joy at all costs.
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. Is the public version of you the real you?
I’m working on ways for the public version of me to be the real me and also a sustainable me. I’m seeking to move away from work with kids because I want to create work that’s more radical in its expression and sort of beyond their development. I’ve been passionate about my work with kids but I feel most free around adults. I can’t be too corporate but I am very competent. I can be wild and bold in my creative spaces, and responsible when with our youth. I do find this to be limiting, however. I want the public me to be able to revel in all the wild ideas that might scare a lot of people. The real me is very wounded but very insightful. I’m not neurotypical. I’m very neurotic and very fascinated by philosophical ideas about expanding the self. I do believe in very futurist and transhumanist ideas and I think some people, especially those on the right do fear the implications that brings to their safety and humanity. I do understand when some concerns for our children are valid (not when they’re bigoted). I want to fight for a world where we can create systems that keep everyone safe as we’re free to explore all the options. I think this world is getting further and further away. It’s hard to encourage bold self expression when you can’t guarantee safety. Hopefully I can carve out a life that allows me to find ways to build baby steps toward it. The real me wants to tear everything apart and build something new – but I know I’m so young and have so much to learn and am hopeful to keep finding community that can help me evolve and grow and fight for the best me, but also the most responsible me.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. When do you feel most at peace?
I feel most at peace whenever I’m with my mom. I love my mom very much and we’ve had a complex relationship. We might butt heads sometimes but ultimately we’re extremely close – to the point where yes, sometimes there aren’t the healthiest boundaries. She’s my safe person though. That’s my mommy. She was a single mother to me after my parents divorced when I was in middle school. She has severe health conditions unfortunately, which does mean that although she is where I feel peace and safety, there’s a lot of trauma I have to work through to be in the moment with her. I’ve seen her in situations no child should ever have to see their mother in. My other place I’m most at peace is the beach. My mom is like the beach: she’s this vast expanse that is so complex but so beautiful and special to me. Her favorite color is blue and we have the same humor and laugh at our own jokes. She’s the toughest person I’ve ever known and she’s never given up on me even when I have no clue how she’s able to put up with me and the life I live. There truly is no love like a mother’s love and although I have no plans to have kids of my own, I hope I can make people feel how I feel around her. I want to make people feel as safe as she makes me feel. (Which, yes – is kinda crazy given I’m such a shapeshifter with such an unstable life, but I’m still rooting for the best in everyone!)
Contact Info:
- Website: https://linktr.ee/lostangeles
- Instagram: lostangelesmusic
- Twitter: lostangelesxxx
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@lostangelesofficial
- Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/lostangelesmusic
- Other: TikTok at @lostangelesmusic and available on all streaming platforms under Lost Angeles
https://lostangelesmusic.bandcamp.com/
Image Credits
@hazzz.min for the live picture in the white dress
