Today we’d like to introduce you to Zoë Lerman.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Zoë. So, let’s start at the beginning and we can move on from there.
This is sort of a funny question to me because I think beginnings and endings aren’t really clear until you have lots of hindsight. I think as I’ve gotten older, I can begin to pinpoint what things have to lead me to where I am today, but I still constantly feel like I’m starting new beginnings. The story I tell everyone who asks me how I got into acting, though, is that when I was in second grade, I saw my sister act in her first school play. I remember that I was mesmerized by everyone on the stage, and I thought to myself “I want to do that.”
I started acting in 5th grade with school plays, but I hated the fact that they were musicals. I have always been shy about my voice, even though I always participated in school choir. The only way to get bigger speaking roles was if you also wanted a big singing role, and that is not at all what I wanted. So, I did school shows for two years, but then by 7th grade, I started doing community theater. My first show there my director told me on opening night, “You’ve been bitten by the acting bug,” and that has stuck with me ever since.
From then on I’ve done acting intensives, studied the craft at three different universities, studied abroad, done stage, film, TV… I’d say the most formative training I’ve had is my time at The National Theater Institute (NTI) and The University of Southern California. NTI is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. It showed me what I could accomplish personally and professionally, how hard I could push myself, the importance of rest and recovery, and it made me believe in myself. USC’s training is RANKED HIGHLY for a reason, and the connections there are unbelievable. I think the most important part of each of those experiences, though, was that I was growing not just as an artist but as a person – and I think those two things are integral for growth and improvement.
We’re always bombarded by how great it is to pursue your passion, etc. – but we’ve spoken with enough people to know that it’s not always easy. Overall, would you say things have been easy for you?
Yikes. This question hits home. There have been many roadblocks along the way. I had a very traumatic childhood. Without bearing my entire soul, I grew up with an alcoholic mother and endured different forms of abuse. I’ve struggled with anxiety and OCD tendencies, and eventually, all of this lead me to develop a very bad relationship with food and exercise. I really hit a scary low point right before I attended The National Theater Institute and transferred to the University of Southern California. At the same time, my grandfather died. He was my first best friend, and it was the first time I watched someone die. Because I was so physically and mentally unwell at that point, I took his death as a message from him that I really needed to get better. When I went to NTI, my mentors instilled the importance of self-compassion, care, rest, and recovery to me. It was the first time I understood that if I was not physically well I could not do what I want to do. And that was a really scary thought for me. NTI took control over food and exercise away from me because the schedule was so rigid and intense. While terrifying, it is what saved my life.
A few months after leaving NTI, I thought I was completely “recovered.” Physically, I am healthy, but mentally I do still struggle. I have diagnosed body dysmorphia, and every day feels like I am looking in a funhouse mirror – I don’t know what to expect, and I don’t know which reflection IS REALITY. That’s really hard in an industry that emphasizes physicality so intensely. That’s something about this industry I’d like to see change. It is, very very slowly, but there has to be a more open and honest conversation around it and how it affects literally everyone – people pursuing those jobs but also consumers of media. Every day, I have to remind myself of the ways in which I want to live, how I define living, and the things deeper than skin that matter most to me. I try to be selective with who I surround myself by because I do believe that if you surround yourself with positivity, light, love, with people who have similar values to your own but also challenge you to be the best version of yourself, that is what you will exude.
Because I still struggle with anxiety, as well as food and exercise-related things, I feel like I shouldn’t give advice – however, I’ve been told I give good advice, so let’s give it a whack. I am not perfect by any means, but I can admit that easily. I believe everything is a work in progress, and creating that mindset has helped ease some of my perfectionist tendencies. I think it’s important to put things in perspective. What helps me is having people I can talk to. For a long time, I thought it was more heroic to not talk about my problems, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized talking and sharing is one of the bravest things an individual can do. So, I’d say get a therapist if you can afford one, find a friend you trust absolutely; if you’re lucky to have a family member you are close to, talk to them – find anyone you trust and respect, and ask them to be an ear for you.
In terms of things like body image, food, and exercise – cleanse your social media. Every few days I go through my Instagram, and I unfollow accounts that make me feel bad in any way. Someone you may follow for “inspiration” may actually be hurting your self-esteem. Also, try not to invest too much into all the different ways of eating out there. I get really overwhelmed with everyone posting about intermittent fasting, food combining, keto, paleo, raw vegan, etc. At the end of the day, I think of two things: 1.) Sometimes looking at the science of things can help me. Obviously, check your sources, but don’t let some Instagram girl or YouTuber make you feel like the way you eat or exercise is wrong. They’re not a doctor, they don’t know you – only you know you. 2.) I remind myself I don’t want to live my life stressing about food and exercise. That always helps me relax and remind myself whatever I eat or if I don’t exercise, life will go on – and most often, eating a cupcake or not working out will challenge me mentally, which is necessary for self-growth.
The last thing I’ll say is sort of a cliche, but just remember that 99% of what we see is filtered. It sucks, but it’s true. I challenge you to not edit your photos because if you want to see change, you need to create the culture you want to see. If you want to edit your photos, totally cool too. Just be honest about it. Sometimes, I want to edit out a blemish or smooth my skin a little… but editing your body, I would highly advise against because you’ll get used to seeing a body that is not your own, so when you do look in the mirror you’ll constantly be disappointed. When I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see, I acknowledge I’m having a bad body image day, accept it, say it’s okay that I feel that way, but I remind myself the feeling will pass – or at least ease up.
My friend suggested I write down an affirmation every night, and I was really consistent with it for about a month. At first, it was really weird and felt stupid and self-centered, but then, I noticed it helped force my brain to celebrate myself rather than tear myself down. While it’s sad to me that I can’t write one thing I like about my physical appearance, it also showed me how much there is to me besides how I look – and those things are truly what’s most important.
And for any girls out there struggling with how they look because they feel like boys won’t like them because of that – I feel you. But also, one of my best guy friends once told me, “Zoë, if a guy only liked you for your looks, you wouldn’t want to be with him anyway.” Remember that.
Please tell us more about your work, what you are currently focused on and most proud of.
This question always feels strange to me. I’m an actor, and to me, that means I do anything and everything. I’m theatrically trained, and that’s the bulk of what I’ve done. I really want to do film and TV though. There’s something about capturing a magical moment that you’ll have forever that is very attractive to me. Right now, being on a TV series is super compelling to me. I think it’s because getting to stay with a character for a long period of time and really develop another person in a complete life is like an actor’s dream. Films would be cool because they’re sort of like plays – work on them intensely for a burst of time, finish, and then move on to the next. With films, there is more room to do many different things in a shorter period of time, but with TV, you get to hone the same character and world for an extended period of time. I really want to do it all, but right now, I think the order is TV, film, theater.
I’d say the thing that sets me apart the most from other actors is that I am a dichotomy. I am short but fiery, and I look young, but I have an air of maturity about me that comes off as slightly mysterious. One of my favorite acting teachers told me what exudes most prominently is an empathetic kindness, and I think that’s what people pick up on.
What advice would you give to someone at the start of her career?
Believe in yourself and be kind to yourself. And part of being kind to yourself is having compassion when you aren’t or can’t be kind to yourself.
Contact Info:
- Website: http://www.zoelerman.com
- Instagram: @zoe_lerman
Image Credit:
USC School of Dramatic Arts
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