Today we’d like to introduce you to Aurellia Himawan.
Hi Aurellia, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
I was born in 1999 at the turn of the century in Tangerang, Indonesia. My father is ethnic Chinese, and my mother is mixed Ambonese, Chinese, and Dutch. Our family on both sides were (and continue to be) ostracized there due to our mixed-race heritage. Although he has never felt comfortable speaking about his feelings, I gathered my father felt distrustful and resentful of the government and the population’s tendencies toward racial violence during the Suharto regime. He applied for the green card lottery, officially known as the Diversity Immigrant Visa, in early 2000. Out of tens of millions of applicants, only 55,000 are chosen each year. He was one of them.
When we immigrated to Austin, Texas with my two brothers in 2005, I experienced a jarring culture and language shock upon arriving. I didn’t fully understand the reasons that we left the only home and family I’d known, but all I knew was that these new people didn’t seem to like me. I was one of a handful of Asian-American students in my grade and certainly the only Southeast Asian person. They imitated my thick accent and pulled the skin of their face back to imitate my “chink” eyes.
At home, my father worked three jobs to get by, including as a grocery store clerk and a newspaperman, because his Indonesian civil engineering degree was seen unfavorably by employers. My mother experienced postpartum psychosis after giving birth to me that became chronic and continued to get worse. Her physical condition also deteriorated, as she experienced heart attacks, a major stroke, and internal organ failures in the first ten years of my life. Her cognitive function started declining exponentially as I got older. My teenage brothers were rarely home and moved out fully when I was eight.
My saving grace in my younger years was simple: the arts and entertainment, in all its forms. I watched cable and network TV religiously, often as my only companion at home. I learned the language and crafted a perfect, all-American accent from imitating TV and movies. I went to the school library every day and must have read nearly all the books from the fiction section. I loved performing, producing, and writing for one reason: how amazing creative storytelling was at building shared communities.
I discovered this quality about the arts early on. In elementary school, as I wrote and illustrated my stories, I based the characters on ones from my real life. When I shared it with my classmates, they became interested in me and what I had to say for the first time. I even made little tabletop games on sheets of notebook paper and pens that I passed around the classroom, with a whole story conjured from my imagination. I wrote my first novel at seven years old, but for many years I was too insecure to show it to people beyond my classmates. But nonetheless, I won an International Baccalaureate award for my creative works at eight years old.
In middle school and high school, I expanded my range into other disciplines of creativity. I painted regularly and exhibited my works at regional showings. I joined theater, private voice lessons, and symphony band because I loved being a part of a production and performance — even though stage fright definitely affected me. It wasn’t until late high school when I realized how amazing film and TV could be as a medium that incorporated elements of all the arts together.
It was the shock of my life when I got an acceptance from USC after a string of rejections from liberal arts schools I was sure I had a better chance of being admitted to.
When I received that opportunity, I became determined to make the most of it. I spent two years at the student TV station, combining my passion for politics and entertainment by creating and writing a live, half-hour TV program called BUT SERIOUSLY. In my sophomore year, I applied to transfer internally into the highly selective School of Cinematic Arts at the university. The odds were so abysmally low that I promised whatever higher power exists, if I were successful, I would take it as a sign of destiny (or at least, really good luck) that I should go into film.
Maybe that’s a silly thing, to bet your life trajectory on something utterly out of your control, but I did it anyway.
I was completely baffled when my bet turned out. In October of 2018, I was one of two students who were accepted into the major that semester. But of course, being admitted anywhere is barely a first step. Guts, doing what’s required, and a generous bit of luck might get you in the door. But what we do with the thing is the important part. And now, I was determined to fulfill my childhood dreams of being a part of something bigger than myself in everything I did.
In May 2021, two and a half years later, I graduated summa cum laude, a collection of polished short stories out for publication, a barrel of student films under my belt, a strong network, two seasons of a 30-minute comedy show featuring Oscar-winning and Emmy-winning guests, and my senior thesis that I produced and cast, a TV pilot episode featuring Emmy-award winner Brad Garrett, shot entirely remotely.
After graduating, I’ve just started a job at CBS as an assistant in the post-production department, but it’s only the beginning. Someday you’ll see my books, TV shows, films, games, and more out there. But I’ll never forget the reasons I do this: friendship, community, kindness, and the crafts that inspire the imagination and hearts of countless people going through rough times.
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
Of course, it hasn’t been a smooth journey by any means. At every turn, it’s hard as hell. It’s annoying to me when people don’t elaborate as to what their struggles were, so I’ll be honest.
It’s not easy trying to put yourself through school, make films, and especially afford the equipment necessary when you’re coming from a low-income, first-generation household. There’s no safety net for me there, very little familial support, and money doesn’t just come from thin air, especially when the federal minimum wage is $7.25/hour in 2021. I am a strong believer that pulling yourself up by the bootstraps is a nearly impossible task without support, privilege, and institutional benefits. Certainly, it shouldn’t be an expected goal for working-class Americans to become millionaires by the age of 40, while there is no paid family federal leave policy, no guaranteed medical insurance, no guaranteed housing, and the social programs that do exist are underfunded. I’ve only been able to do it through grit, frugality, and above all, plain dumb luck and circumstances. Then there are those things that are even further out of my control.
Racism and sexism play a double-edged role for women of color, especially Black women. As a person with a lighter-skinned East-Asian appearance, there are many “privileges” afforded to me by way of the assumptions that people tend to make, such as being “hardworking,” “smart,” “wealthy,” and especially “meek and submissive.” That being said, like many BIPOC women, I’ve struggled with encountering sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape in the workplace and in environments where the personal and professional have mixed. I struggle with being seen as a potential leader in the workplace or seen with equal capabilities as my male counterparts, and of course, there is the ever-persistent wage gap.
All of these things contribute too but do not necessarily cause health conditions I have like anxiety, fatigue, and depression.
But that being said, any endeavor worth pursuing promises to be a bumpy road, but the people that surround you can make the ride easier. I wouldn’t be able to do any of what I accomplished without the support of other people and even strangers who were willing to take a risk on me or willing to lend a helping hand to someone they didn’t really know. I owe a debt of gratitude to my resilient dad, to my lovely and trusty friends, and to my teachers and mentors.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I am a multi-hyphenate – a writer of prose and screenplays, a director, a producer, a casting director, actor, and more. Professionally, my experiences have been largely in live television programming, from NTWRK to CBS and more, while I hope to branch out to scripted television and late-night very soon.
You can count on me if you’re looking for entertainment you can sink into and participate in! I’m a big proponent of putting the audience’s experiences first and creating pieces that have a strong and judicious use of themes underneath them. My dreams are to create whole worlds and universes that you can fall in love with and that will truly become a part of your life and heart.
We’d love to hear about how you think about risk taking?
I take a risk when I go to sleep each night that I will see another day. I take a risk every time I get in a car, a plane, or just walk outside the house. A character like Aunt Josephine of Lemony Snicket’s invention demonstrates how much you can limit yourself by avoiding any risks at all.
Risk-taking can be the difference between life and death, mediocrity and success, riches or rags. But it could be the difference between red or pink.
Deciding whether to take a risk boils down to what’s at stake, what you have to gain, and what you have to lose. I wouldn’t call myself a rational person because I don’t believe any human is ruled by rationality alone. But risk-taking calls for an equal amount of intangible emotion and tangible facts.
I’ve taken lots of risks in life, some of which have turned out well for me at this young point of my life, and some that have really, truly not. They’ve ranged from relationships to jobs to creative projects and more. Most of them don’t result in big winnings or bankruptcy (metaphorically). Most of them land somewhere in the middle. That being said, no matter what you choose to do, you are going to learn lessons and make decisions.
The important thing isn’t making perfect decisions or taking risks that you feel will guarantee a payout. The important thing is making decisions at all. At a certain point, as you become an adult especially, you have opportunity to either choose your life or let the entropy of the universe choose for you. I wouldn’t recommend letting anyone choose for you.
Contact Info:
- Email: [email protected]
- Website: himawan.crd.co
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aur8llia/
Image Credits:
Photo 1: Aamuro Kanda Photo 2: Renee Chen
