Today we’d like to introduce you to Lillian Farzan-Kashani.
Hi Lillian, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
My story began with my parents having left their home, Iran, around age 18, thinking they would be back, like many of us do after high school. Soon after, the Iranian Revolution (1979) began and my parents were never to return (at least as of yet). My parents met in the states; two Iranian Jewish immigrants in a foreign country in which they were again minoritized, seeking a more hopeful future.
Fast forward to years later, tension brewed in my household for the larger part of 18 years. My parents divorced and I found that I suddenly gained a knack for sensing interpersonal conflict, as did my sister who is now a practicing psychologist. When people ask me about my gift for connection and empathy, I say that it comes naturally to me because I feel I have been trained to resolve such conflict from a young age. It is interesting how children develop resilience, often sticking with their original programming until they realize that their survival tactics may now be in overdrive, needing to be reeled-in and reassessed. I include this gem as it is not only part of my story but a parallel in those of many others.
I took my gifts into my profession and worked hard to unlearn the long-held role of “the fixer,” in my personal life. Through years of psychotherapy and grad school, I learned the necessity of boundaries and unlearned that my worth was based on how well I could help others. These boundaries support me in being present, though not enmeshed, with my clients as a Marriage and Family Therapist. After a long road to licensure, I am now in private practice under the name Grounded Therapy, where I focus on seeing clients who are minoritized such as BIPOC, the queer community, first-generation individuals, and victims/survivors of sexual assault. In addition, I am a public speaker on topics overlapping with my origin story, such as: Diversity and Inclusion, Considerations for Inclusive Practitioners, as well as Self-Care and Stress Management.
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
If I’m being completely honest, it feels more smooth at this juncture than it ever has before. That is largely due to becoming licensed, being my own boss, and having a strong community.
Unfortunately, the sad truth is that therapist trainees in grad school as well as pre-licensed therapists are typically exploited to provide care in high-risk environments paired with tireless hours, long commutes, and less-than-livable wages. There were many times along the way that my peers and I questioned why we were pursuing this work and though I may have been resistant pre-licensure, I am so happy I stuck it out.
I am now privileged to say that I work with my ideal clients, I create my own schedule, I can travel and work abroad as long as my clients reside in CA, I have honed in on my self-care, and I have cultivated a very loving community. I feel extremely fulfilled with my work as I can confidently say it is in complete alignment with who I am (I didn’t think I would tear up writing this :’).
Though being a therapist is not easy (namely during the pandemic and the political polarization of the last few years), I feel honored that people trust me enough to let me in and allow me to walk alongside them, shining light in places they may have overlooked, throughout their personal journeys.
Appreciate you sharing that. What should we know about Grounded Therapy?
Grounded Therapy is a telehealth therapy service based in Los Angeles. As a daughter of Iranian Jewish immigrants, I have grown up with an acute awareness of discrimination and minoritization. As such, I am known for my passion for diversity and inclusion as well as advocating for minoritized communities. I focus on working with BIPOC, the queer community, first-generation individuals like myself, as well as survivors/victims of sexual assault.
I am most proud of creating sacred spaces in which my clients feel they can come as they are, with the whole of their intersectionality honored and celebrated. Furthermore, I am excited to be facilitating meditations and offering more speaking engagements to organizations seeking to educate their employees on diversity and inclusion as well as self-care and stress management.
Do you have any advice for those just starting out?
Here is some of the best advice I was given as a grad student and therapist trainee:
– Friendships lacking reciprocity will fall away naturally; that is OK. You can save your energy to prioritize yourself, particularly while you are experiencing exponential growth in grad school (aka an extended therapy session mindf***).
– Do not overextend yourself by initiating multiple other jobs, passion projects, or roles that are not critical outside of practicum/work and self-care.
– Self-Care, boundaries, and assertiveness are all essential tools.
– People that are used to benefitting from your lack of boundaries may likely be upset/confused after you learn to implement boundaries. This comes with the territory. Your loved ones may not recognize this emerging part of you; you can feel free to communicate proactively and/or reach for self-soothing when setting new boundaries (you really are learning a new language–it takes practice!).
Pricing:
- $180
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.groundedtherapy.info/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grounded1therapy/
Image Credits
Gary Quinn (1st featured photo with hanging plant)
