Today we’d like to introduce you to Darshawn Hooker.
Hi Darshawn, thanks for joining us today. We’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
Well, let’s see here, this part of my story you could say began being a young Black girl born in New Orleans, LA relocating to Los Angeles, CA; two cities worlds apart. The culture shock was real because I felt so out of place. What I did learn though is that I am adaptable and emotionally intelligent. I had to navigate adult decisions at a young age to try and make sense of the world around me. This helped me understand my skillset as a helper and listener. I allowed these critical skills to help me determine my career path. Along the way, I also recognized early in life that I am a creative being. So here I am all these years later, working as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Adjunct Professor trying to blend my love for mental health, the arts and play.
Having worked in all types of mental health settings and with various populations, it has always been clear that my profession is valuable in the communities I identify with and is more than just a job. People who look like me having access to mental health support from someone who looks like them is so important. So, I made it my personal mission to create a safe space that allowed for a unique, individually curated, authentic connection between myself and anyone who allowed me to work with them on their mental health journey because at the root of healing from trauma is repairing connections; human connection is key.
I left the non-profit mental health sector and branched out into private practice work because I wanted to have more control over the way I showed up for the folks I worked with. I felt as though western standards of professionalism and bureaucracy hindered me from being as effective as I could be. With this came the birth of Nola Light Healing Center. Therapy is already invasive and intrusive feeling by nature so I couldn’t imagine sharing my greatest joys and most painful losses with someone I couldn’t connect with or whom I didn’t feel understood me. I’ve always challenged oppressive systems, rules and and methodologies that were not inclusive; the ones I couldn’t see myself or family and friends in. I decided to try to fill the gaps in mental health.
While working to be a help to others, to ensure I am my best self, I have married the joys of play with psychology, creating The Elf of Mental Health which allows me to share information about mental health and the nuances of therapy creatively to others. I believe that the more play we add to our lives the more joy we will experience. So The Elf of Mental Health was born! I love dress-up, themed parties and fantasy! Recently a day for Black people who love all things elf or fae (fairy) was created entitled “Black Fae Day,” created by Queen Jasmine La Fleur, to highlight that we are out here being Black and enjoy cosplay and dress up too! The Elf of Mental Health is a half-elf half fairy persona that talks about mental health on YouTube, providing answers to questions folks may have about mental health topics or seeking mental health support for themselves. It’s rejuvenating to put on my elf ears, play in makeup and fairy wings, prancing around barefoot in a random park thinking about how to help folks meet their mental health goals! Between makeup, pixie dust, fairy ears, wings and bedazzled dresses, the Elf of Mental Health allows me to give myself what I need to remain connected to joy and reduce burn out.
I truly want to create a mental health space that is unique and allows people to experience a journey toward a healthier and happier life that is curated specifically to meet their needs. I understand that the therapeutic experience needs to be reflective of real life and not just what is taught in books. I know that people need to feel connected. At our core, we all need to feel heard and seen. We want to feel understood. Being myself is the best way I found I could actually help folks and if I get to play along the way then it’s a double win!
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
From the moment I stepped into the workforce, I was told I did not belong. I did not meet the expectations as a Black woman that society had of me. I can remember being told to tone down, not to dress a certain way, not to say certain things. It seemed that being me just was not enough. I do not look like the stereotypical depictions of therapists. Often times on television or in the media we see or hear these depictions of therapists as rote, monotone, hollow-shelled humans ready to just be a listening ear to be emotionally dumped on. They depict us as the cardigan-wearing, clipboard-holding, peering over the eyeglasses type. That, quite frankly, ain’t ever been me. I do not ascribe to western standards of professionalism. I see treatment from the lens of strengths versus deficits. I believe in collaboration as I am not an expert on the life of those in front of me. I am just a tool to help along the way.
Recognizing that to be born non-White in our society inherently means that there will be challenges unknown or unheard of by the dominant culture, I understood early in my career that many of our struggles come from having to wear masks of many colors, sizes and shapes to be acceptable in society. Providing treatment is both an art and a science, so when it came to focusing on my community directly, I knew that Black people needed a different representation of therapy and therapists and despite being told that authenticity was unprofessional, I kept at it. I knew that to connect and establish trusting relationships folks who looked like me would need to feel heard, seen and safe. The best way I know how to do that is well, by being real because I have been there myself, needing someone to understand my journey.
Most of my work involves supporting Blacks, indigenous and other people of color through their mental health journeys that often involve a variety of trauma, childhood, sexual and to be quite frank, resulting from existing in our society as a Black or Brown person; transgenerational trauma. Anxiety, depression and many other mental health battles become exacerbated by the reality that most of us are unable to develop, sustain and enjoy being our authentic selves. I set out to be sure that every person I am privileged to work with understands they can cultivate the version of themselves that understands the parameters they exist within but also not allow those parameters to hinder their growth or barricade their path towards self-actualization; the optimal, healthiest, happiest version of themselves.
Appreciate you sharing that. What should we know about Nola Light Healing Center?
Nola Light Healing Center is a place where anyone is welcome and when you decide to allow me to be a part of your mental health journey, you receive a genuine therapeutic connection. I want those that collaborate with me to be able to see the possibility that being authentic, not without possible negative outcomes, is an option. You do not have to be who the world tries to force you to be. So I personally show up every session as me. I wear my comic book graphic tees and fresh kicks that make me feel good. I speak AAVE and use other common slang terms or phrases because that’s a huge part of my culture. I have piercings and don’t hide my love for music as you’ll always hear music playing in the lobby. I laugh when things are funny. I eat snacks and drink water. I am human. So in the session room, you get to be human too and if you’re not quite sure what you want that to look like, the space is safe for you to figure that out. I’m riding shotgun but you get to drive.
Life throws us curveballs often. Whether it be loss, phase of life transitions, relationship or financial stressors, we often need a place to gather our thoughts, explore our feelings free from judgment and bias. The goal is to cultivate a place for people from all walks of life to feel an affirming person is focused on supporting them to meet their emotional needs and mental health goals. The most important work I can do is help folks cultivate their happiness, access more joy and heal from any pain from the past. I was created to do that and will always ensure that I keep that at the forefront of every business endeavor.
We’d love to hear about how you think about risk taking?
You know, being a Black woman, showing up in this world with different ideas about the way you want to exist that is not in alignment with societal norms is a huge risk. Feeling empowered to go down the path that everyone says won’t work is an amazing feeling, but remains risky. Just existing for me is a risk so I have to have faith that I can help others and do it in a way that doesn’t diminish or invalidate the very essence of me.
I’ve taken risks to challenge oppressive systems. I fought to have my voice heard to help represent myself and others. I’ve battled my own negative thoughts about what success should look like and had to break down the values I’ve learned living in this society to create values that are uniquely my own, untainted by outside influence and that, that my friend, is the greatest risk of all; being different. Life is all about risks and I’m willing to keep stepping out there on faith that my mission is valuable and worth every bit of hard work.
Contact Info:
- Website: psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/darshawn-hooker-lmft-cerritos-ca/339447
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/urfavtherapist/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088221563943
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbDkG-pQiG2PhQTmbOZm6ow
- Other: https://linktr.ee/Theelfofmentalhealth
Image Credits
Tash Elzie Muammar Reed
