Today we’d like to introduce you to Ahra (Esther) Ko.
Hi Ahra (Esther), thanks for sharing your story with us. To start, maybe you can tell our readers some of your backstory.
When I reflect on the events that have brought me to where I am today, the adage “everything happens for a reason” resonates deeply. My passion for psychology developed through a series of challenging life events, all of which seemed impossible to overcome at the time, but now seem like prerequisites to what had to happen for me to succeed in my profession as a mental health therapist. Because of these significant life experiences, I am able to understand people on a deeper level.
As a Korean-American growing up in Los Angeles, I often heard stories of immigrant parents coming to the U.S. with limited resources while working hard and raising their children to pursue the American dream. Conversely, my family had quite a different experience. Rather than going from “rags to riches,” my parents moved from South Korea to Los Angeles in 1981 with financial stability. I grew up as the only child, so my parents showered me with adoration and exposed me to various extracurricular activities, such as martial arts, ballet, piano, and art.
However, things quickly took a turn following my parents’ divorce when I was five years old and, like it does with many parents, it left my mom distraught and ill-prepared to raise me as a single parent. The event also drastically changed her financial circumstance, which required her to work long hours. She often came home without adequate time or energy, and I had difficulty understanding what was truly happening in our lives and at home. I also recall having to move from one city to another due to financial struggles and evictions, switching schools every year because of the constant moves, and experiencing transitional homelessness (i.e., living in motels and couch surfing) during different parts of adolescence. And because of the Korean culture and its fear of stigma, we seldom spoke of our struggles and formed a pretense to show the world that we were a striving but happy family. As a result, there was much friction between my mom and me. We argued frequently, and I ran away every week, ditched school often, affiliated with the wrong peers, and truly lived life in survival mode without any aspirations for a higher education or personal goals. I would label this particular chapter of my life (ages 5-18) as “instability.”
Amid the tumultuous times, I often found peace and comfort at bookstores. Because my mom couldn’t afford entertainment or travel, she frequently took me to Barnes & Noble to enrich my mind (and to this day, this beloved bookstore holds a special place in my heart). There, I fervently read Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul, learning about other kids and families undergoing similar difficulties. Not knowing how to deal with my situation, this book was my only solace at the time. Who knew that it would also be the impetus to my future career.
In these trying times, I developed a deep care and empathy for others who were going through their own set of issues. My ability to understand people and analyze situations naturally made me the go-to person whenever my friends were faced with personal struggles. The analytical side of me then extended to curiosities of the general human mind and behavior, and I wanted to learn more. While casually talking to a friend about my interests, he mentioned that what I was describing was the field of psychology. And since then, I became fascinated with this field and began to read any psychology-related book I could get my hands on.
Unfortunately, I did not have much academic motivation in high school. I understood everything and easily achieved strong grades across subjects when I tried, but I couldn’t sustain this motivation; all I wanted to do was to socialize with friends, which was the only way to distract me from the troubles at home. Consequently, I graduated high school with a humiliating record of truancies and an unspeakable GPA and decided that college was not for me. But at the age of 19 and after a year of living independent from my mom, she convinced me to enroll into community college and instilled in me a sense of hope and encouragement that I had never received before. I devoted all my time and energy into school (and work) and transferred to UCLA, where I met the most inspiring professors and mentors who paved life-altering paths for me. I then went on to pursue my master’s degree in social work at the University of Southern California with a keen sense of knowing that I wanted to dedicate my career to helping others.
Currently, I work at the LA County Department of Mental Health where I provide therapy and crisis intervention to homeless individuals in Skid Row. Many of them have co-morbid substance use disorders and a long history of incarceration. These experiences have ingrained in me a desire to focus on preventative measures, early intervention, and improving communities at large. I recognize that change in people is a huge undertaking, but I strongly believe that healing, commitment, and perseverance can help make change happen – no matter the scale. It truly takes a village to uplift one another, and I hope to be a part of this change.
With the experiences and therapeutical skills amassed, I’ve decided to launch my own private practice called CogniThrive Collective this year. I’d like to focus on early intervention, culturally-attuned services, and empowering others. Although I’ll start off as a sole practitioner, I plan to expand my practice to include other therapists of various backgrounds. I’m truly excited at the thought of working with people of all walks of life, promoting humanitarian work, and helping local communities grow.
Looking back, I can clearly see that the setbacks and turbulent times in my life served a purpose. They allowed me to develop empathy, grit, and a passion to help others succeed. I’m also confident that I’ve been blessed in many ways throughout life, as I had some form of support and inspiration along every step of the way: the friend who sparked the idea of psychology in me, the Chicken Soup series, and my mom who continued to believe in me. Now, it’s my turn to help individuals develop their inner voice, overcome obstacles, become resilient, and thrive.
Would you say it’s been a smooth road, and if not what are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced along the way?
The process of starting CogniThrive Collective was not a smooth road, as I didn’t have any knowledge or experience of opening a private practice. It’s essentially a business, so I had to do extensive research on different business entities, read about how to form corporations, and make detailed notes of various legal requirements within the local and state levels. Friends advised me to consult with lawyers and accountants, but I was stubborn and wanted to learn everything by myself, so I spent late hours (after my full-time job) to do more work! I’d say the research component was the heaviest bulk. After that, it was a fairly smooth process of submitting applications and waiting.
However, I ran into other hurdles: websites, marketing, and operations. I’ve also never had experience in these areas, so I was overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start. I enrolled in online courses and watched several YouTube videos of other private practice owners to learn from them. These resources were invaluable, and I’m grateful for those who have shared their experiences and knowledge online for free or at minimal costs. As a new private practice owner, these resources truly go a long way.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about CogniThrive Collective?
CogniThrive Collective is a mental health private practice that aims to deliver quality services by incorporating culturally-attuned interventions and research-supported treatment.
Importantly, as I grow the practice, I would like to help therapists achieve a healthy work-life balance. The quality of patient care is often reflective of how the employees are cared for, the type of training and leadership they receive, and the clinicians’ desires to learn and grow. I want to ensure that all aspects are well attended to.
My specialties lie in stress management, depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and life transitions. I’m licensed in the state of California and provide telehealth therapy for adults across the state, including Los Angeles.
I’m trained in the following treatment modalities: cognitive behavioral, dialectical behavior, psychodynamic, humanistic, and family systems therapy. However, I often integrate multiple modalities, as mental health issues are complex and dynamic, and they require a holistic approach.
What sets me apart from other therapists is my ability to understand individuals on a deeper level. Aside from just fancy interventions, the connection between a therapist and a client is equally as important. A therapist can be trained in rigorous treatment modalities but if s/he can’t connect with or understand a client, the treatment won’t be as effective. Of course, the opposite is also true.
In therapy, the client-therapist match is especially important, so I always encourage everyone to search until they find the right match. It may be a frustrating process, but I urge you not to give up and continue looking.
Do you have any advice for those looking to network or find a mentor?
I would encourage everyone to reach out to their colleagues or supervisors, especially if they are in the career sector or position you’re hoping to pursue.
Also, search online to see if there are local community organizations that are holding social/networking events (e.g., check eventbrite.com or subscribe to an organization’s email listserv). These events can be helpful to network, as you’ll find many people with relevant backgrounds and experiences all in one location; and even if you don’t, you may meet someone who knows another person who could be a potential mentor.
Additionally, don’t be afraid of following the leaders in your industry on social media (e.g., Instagram). Instagram has now become one of the major platforms for professionals, so you will easily find others who are on a similar track as you. Interact with them, join workshops and meetings, and never hesitate to cold call/message!
If you’re in school, it’s the best place to find mentors – often your professors or an organization’s leader. Be proactive and schedule office hour meetings. Join clubs, volunteer, and attend social events.
Pricing:
- $250/hour
Contact Info:
- Website: cognithrivecollective.com
- Instagram: cognithrive
