Today we’d like to introduce you to Carmen Thomas-Paris.
Hi Carmen, we’re thrilled to have a chance to learn your story today. So, before we get into specifics, maybe you can briefly walk us through how you got to where you are today?
My origin story of Doula-ing for Fertility, Birth, Postpartum and Death and everything in between, begins in an unlikely way: as a teenage Soap Star on All My Children. That job is ultimately what brought me from Georgia to New York City. From the Big Apple, I proceeded to Los Angeles to continue my acting career. When in LA, I found myself pregnant with my newly-acquainted French lover’s baby (who lived in Paris and was told he could not have children). He was unwilling to move to America and there was no invitation for me to move there…
As a young single mother-to-be without insurance or resources, I was fortunate to discover The Venice Family Clinic and made a conscious choice to put everything I had into being a good mom… Empowered by this community, I learned about my options and the value of doula support. I learned to tune into my baby and allow her participation in the journey. Soon the education and emotional support I received helped me believe I could do this; I had a beautiful homebirth.
In my early days as a new mom I made a living as a massage therapist, aromatherapist and yoga teacher in between acting jobs. An impactful role on ER where I played a mother giving birth led me to a revelation: The way TV portrays birth plays into a fear-based view that was so different from the birth experience I had.
When I had another child, I decided it was time to become a doula myself and help change the American narrative around birth. I was eager to provide couples tools to create from love rather than fear so they learn what it really means to feel “safe” and how that affects the outcome of birth. I’m passionate about this work I’ve been doing for the last 20 years, constantly incorporating more modalities of healing and education into my support offerings to empower couples in their birth journey and beyond.
When Covid lockdowns impacted human connection, I realized community was even more vital than ever. I was moved to create a “hub” in support of doulas and the work they do toward collaborative care; thus Dream Doula Village, a community that feels like a family serving families, was born.
It’s beautiful how the threads of our passions weave their way throughout our lives… Doulas support from beginning of life to the end – and I strive to serve people at every point of that Circle throughout their lives. Long before my children were born, I was a student of Marianne Williamson’s Course in Miracles. I began volunteering with Project Angel Food and discovered Compassion in Action where I learned to sit with people on their death bed and support families during that time. Early on in my birth doula career, I remember realizing how similar the First Breath and the Last Breath were, so it seems only natural that the full spectrum of life is addressed in my offerings. Recently I’ve been expanding my business Dream Doula Village’s support options to include Death Doula support. To that end, I have just completed my Death Midwifery training with Sacred Crossings Institute for Conscious Dying.
Now that my children are closer to launching from the nest, I find myself blessed to still be with the French lover who became my husband and happy to report we are still very much in love. My next chapter includes more creative endeavors related to the doula profession. In the last year I have served as an on-set consultant, bringing authenticity to onscreen birth scenes. Also on the horizon are several creative projects aimed at changing the narrative of birth and death on a larger scale – watch things come full circle in 2026!
Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way. Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
It is challenging to work in a field of such liminal space of Birth, Postpartum and Death.
They are all intimate Rites of Passage and represent the most significant transitions we face in life. Due to the nature of the work (dealing with life events that happen “out of time and space,” often on-call, and up at all hours for days empathizing with other people’s intense emotions, pain, stress and trauma), we in this field frequently suffer from exhaustion from lack of sleep brought upon by too much adrenaline in the system after days-long birthing sessions. It’s common for practitioners in the field to experience burnout.
Moreover, there are personal tolls: Natural caretakers who gravitate toward this type of work tend to struggle with healthy boundaries; we tend toward codependency and over-giving which proves personally detrimental. And as much as my family is a priority, the unpredictable nature of the work can cause me to be unavailable for my own family, e.g., missing special occasions, inability to travel out of town, needing to take two cars “just in case” I get called to a birth…
The American health care system causes its own stressors for dedicated doulas. Standard obstetrics practice (dictated by insurance companies) insist upon inducing women at 39 weeks which makes for longer labors necessitating more interventions and unnecessary causing trauma to the parents that is hard to witness. Doulas are called to “hold space” and advocate for women so they have agency over their birth experience.
These are the very challenges, however, that created the impetus for me to create Dream Doula Village where rather than just me, there’s a community of practitioners available to support our clients’ and each other alike.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know?
The Dream Doula Village serves as doula to the community at large, supporting the lifelong needs of individuals and families as well as professional doulas and family care specialists who are dedicated to health, wellness and connection of mind/body/spirit throughout every phase of life. Dream Doula Village was founded by doula and birth educator Carmen Thomas-Paris who has assembled this community to support and celebrate the passage through significant transitions, from fertility to end-of-life.
Dream Doula Village practitioners support their clients through a wide range of specialties and modalities (methods) including meditation, yoga, massage, Reiki, herbal remedies, nutritional support, childbirth education, comfort measures, infant care, scar tissue remediation and life celebrations like MotherWay Blessings and Red Tent Ceremonies. We also lead rituals and ceremonies for after the last breath.
Individuals and families benefit from the fact that we are deeply plugged into the holistic care community and refer clients from a wide swath of practitioners who share our commitment to collaborative care. We offer Quarterly Salons and Moon Circles bring us together in community.
There are many ways and reasons to reach out to Dream Doula Village. For doulas, I offer group and one-on-one mentorship programs. The Village regularly hosts a myriad of training workshops like Advanced Comfort Measures, Rebozo Techniques and Closing the Bones with guest teachers from Mexico in addition to hosting monthly informational calls with experts in the field to augment their skill sets. We offer a membership level for everyone that provides access to an extensive online video resource library, exclusive content and chat functionality. Join the Dream Doula Village online community here: https://dream-doula-village.
Truly, Dream Doula Village offers something great for everyone.
What matters most to you? Why?
That while we are in ‘Earth School ” in this incarnation in which we are embodied, we have agency, we are connected and heart-centered.
That no one is robbed of their choices. There are so many possibilities! As a doula it is my mission to make sure that my clients know they have options open to them.
That I am filtering everything through the lens of the Self with great Self -Love. It the main way that I Walk the Walk and not just talk the talk.
Authenticity is everything.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.IntegrativeBirthCollective.com, www.DreamDoulaVillage.com, www.AfertileGround.com
- Instagram: @DreamDoulaVillage is Insta and email us at [email protected]
- Yelp: DreamDoulaVillage
