Today we’d like to introduce you to Zubaida Khan.
Hi Zubaida, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
Growing up Bengali Muslim in New York City invokes a shared mentality or thought process cultivated by our environment and our immigrant parents that a lot of us first-generation American or millennials can relate to. It’s often a love and hate relationship with our South Asian background and as I delved into my work as a young student and now young professional, I realize we are all human and have similar stories regardless of our background and upbringing. We all have thoughts and feelings that contribute to our actions which creates our life. We are all human.
I’ll share some of the thought process of growing up in a South Asian/Immigrant household in any perspective; just slightly leaning towards women: get excellent grades in school meaning nothing below and A, get married as soon as possible because girls start aging at 18 apparently, yet still have great grades so we can show you off to the most eligible “bidder”, must learn household tasks the moment you’re able to walk, must be quiet and shy, must not talk to boys or be very loud, if you do work you must be a doctor or a lawyer, if not then there’s no point, just get married, must not go out unless you absolutely need to and if you do it should be with a male, must not travel alone/with friends, you also don’t need many friends, what are sleepovers? And some of us bought into it. Or did we not and we just go along with it. Okay, so this is a little exaggerated but at the same time, not exaggerated at all.
This kind of upbringing, give or take a couple of aspects, I feel disempower women and people in general regardless of which culture you come from. It takes away from autonomy, decision making, independence, and living a life of personal purpose. My goal is to empower people to work the job they like, be in a healthy romantic relationship, speak up for themselves, start the business they want, make a great living, surround themselves with quality people, and live a full life that of their choice. And how does it all have to do with the upbringing by association and environment, it has everything to do with it! Seeking and accepting professional guidance whether mentorship or therapy, and education in Mental health, because of the stigma in our communities prevent a lot of our life situations from improving. In addition, since I was about 11 or 12, I’ve witnessed and experienced trauma, mental health issues, and middle class to poverty concerns which influenced my current mission. For these reasons, I’ve dedicated the last couple of years in education and practice of Mental Health Counseling and Self Development. My goal is to empower one heart, one brain, one soul at a time.
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey have been a fairly smooth road?
I started off as a Physician Assistant student at a really great school however I quickly realized I was only pushing two dreams into one plan: my purpose of adding value on this earth and helping others get better and my parent’s dream of a successful medical professional – a child to be proud of that will bring great delight and possibly bragging rights to the family. I realized this wasn’t the plan for me (kudos to all medical professionals) and went straight to studying psychology despite the lack of encouragement from my family. In most South Asian cultures, mental health is looked down upon. You’re either crazy or weak if you need therapy, and if you’re providing therapy, you’re as crazy as the people you’re providing therapy too. A select few people were supportive and their support has warmed my heart till this day. Through this process, I’ve had my own struggle of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder for many different reasons. This was really the icing on the cake, the fact that I knew I was going through these things, it made it more evident that other people are going through it too, further reinforcing the importance of why I needed to overcome my own struggle and why this work is important. You can only take others as far as you’ve gone.
As I was completing my schooling, my growth and self-development really started to kick in. I submerged myself in self-development books, learning from top leaders and entrepreneurs, started practicing yoga and meditation to calm my anxiety and non-stop-running-on-duracell-
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I’ve been practicing Mental Health Counseling for the last 3/4 years. I’m sure you’ve heard the question, “If your job didn’t pay you, would you still do it?” That’s me, in some ways I utilize all the skills I’ve gained in conversation with anyone in my life (to a certain degree) and I’d certainly do it for free. I actually have done it for free. I feel that I was put in this unique time and place to be a healer of the heart and mind through counseling. I’ve treated children, single moms, divorces, teenagers, couples, seniors, etc. I thoroughly enjoy doing talk therapy with people of any demographic, however my favorite is the emerging adulthood phase. We are so impressionable at this time and the decisions we make there will likely tell us how we live for the next 5, 10, even 20 years. This is where it comes into play that we can rewire and unlearn some things from our upbringing that are hold us back, my favorite thing to see is my patients breaking mental barriers. I love Cognitive Behavioral Therapy because it brings to surface our thoughts and in therapy, we can dissect where the thoughts came from, whether they are rational or irrational, and how it affects the choices we make and actions we take. In line with CBT, I teach self-development through therapy in creating great habits and self-exploration through reading the very best self-development books. I also connect with other ambitious professionals who want to make positive impact in their community.
Any advice for finding a mentor or networking in general?
I wouldn’t be where I am mentally and physically without my mentors; in my career, financial, and personal life. If you listen to celebrities and entrepreneurs, they’ve had the blessing to gain wisdom from successful people before them. A mentor is there to walk you through things that they may have already developed through or have a sharp mindset to guide you along whatever it is that you’re going through. They are also there to empower you to get the results you are seeking in your life, so it’s important to follow or learn from a mentor that has what you want in your life. My mentors travel the world for business and leisure, make a substantial living, have a great marriage and family relationships, and they directly and indirectly help hundreds of people on their journey to personal success – this is a purposeful life for me and these are the mentors I am blessed to learn from which has impacted my life in the most beneficial way. Find someone or people that have what you want and see if they are willing to help you get it that and even more! Your network is your net worth, so connect with people in person and online when you see something that attracts to you. Be nice to everyone you meet; there are kind, accountable and respectful people that are willing to help – so long as you possess those qualities as well. In any case, you can always ask me!
Contact Info:
- Instagram: instagram.com/zubaidax3
Image Credits
Peter Rosario Abeda Khan Jay Dezine My Dream Entertainment/WesterWorldPictures
