Today we’d like to introduce you to Sydney Relihan.
Hi Sydney, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
For whatever reason, I was more scared of “coming out” as a filmmaker than I was coming out as queer back in high school. I grew up bouncing between competitive sports and theater while attending a Catholic school in the Chicago suburbs, raised on watching whatever movies my dad deemed necessary for me to watch. But as I got older, theater drifted far off to the sidelines, and I became defined by sports. I hated it.
My deeply unhappy (and then-undiagnosed) self turned to film and television as an escape and fell in love. The idea of finding and forming a community through shared storytelling was intoxicating. That secret dream seemed nearly impossible for years until I worked up the courage to leave my athlete days behind me and forge a new path that I was passionate about.
I landed at Cornell University, eventually graduating Summa Cum Laude with a B.A. in Performing & Media Arts and minors in Creative Writing and Psychology in May 2022. Admittedly, I was not thrilled to be in Ithaca at a smaller film program, but by the time by four years were up, it was clear that was the perfect place for me to explore my passion. As one of the only film students, I snatched up leadership opportunities left and right. When I didn’t feel challenged enough by courses or assignments, I invented my own goals to strive for. I built the community I sought after nearly from the ground up (with help from friends that truly felt like family), and as a senior, set off on an ambitious quest to write/direct/produce a 30-minute television pilot. A cast and crew of around fifty people, nine locations spread across upstate New York, and all sorts of weather and technical challenges later, SEX SHOP made its way from my imagination to the screen.
Since, I’ve been out in Los Angeles, working freelance on set and as a part-time Producer’s Assistant. To keep the creative juices flowing, I co-host an animal-movie podcast called The PAWlywood PAWdcast with my best friend Shannon O’Shea and work on mostly writing. Then, there are a few pilots, a YA book, and a coming-of-age feature in various stages on my laptop. That feature is in the works to be part of Sheauxtime Collective, Inc.’s “The Ace Files Project” that I am helping spearhead. I’ll be directing a concept video this fall to kick off the nonprofit’s efforts to fund this set of films showcasing asexual representation.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
I was always a bit of a shy, nervous kid growing up, but as high school began, that introversion took a sharp turn into more apparent anxiety and depression. My own coming of age was so warped by how lost in my tumultuous mind I was, and maybe that’s why I continue to be infatuated with those sorts of stories. After a handful of years spiraling further and further into what I usually just say was “a generally bad time,” I realized that there was OCD in there too. (And potentially ADHD, though I’m not officially diagnosed there.) Who knew?
It was incredibly tricky to figure out a name for the disturbing, graphic thoughts constantly berating my brain against my will since pure OCD (where the obsessions and compulsions are almost only internal) is so rarely spoken about, especially with more taboo themes. The term “OCD” itself has turned into a crude synonym for cleanliness or a love of organization when that often couldn’t be further from the truth. “Intrusive thoughts” has even wormed its way into the popular lexicon, and while a fleeting thought of something silly to do is technically an intrusive thought, using the word so freely and frequently minimizes how damaging and honestly often traumatizing living with the constant stream of undesirable thoughts with OCD can be.
But anyway, after figuring that out, it took me a number of years to get diagnosed, start therapy and medication, and raise the priority of my mental health in general. All were truly life-changing, but the challenges don’t stop there.
Now, navigating the film industry as a woman, as a neurodivergent person, and as a queer person with identities still largely ignored is a trip. Convincing others to take me and the stories I want to tell seriously in culture and in systems not built to support wider diversity is often difficult. I’ve lost out on jobs because of implicit bias rooted in sexism and ableism. I have been called too ambitious, too assertive, too much—particularly when compared to male and/or neurotypical peers. I’ve rarely been on sets free of sexism or abuse of power.
In short, it’s a lot of being told no. But, thankfully my stubbornness is an asset in that department. So passionate about representation, mentorship, and accessibility; it’s also a lot of putting myself into situations where I’ve had to stand up for people, to people who don’t necessarily have our best interest at heart. I don’t always mind, though. I’m hopeful; I’m optimistic. I refuse to believe things simply are the way they are. I’m all about seeing what things could be and putting energy into getting them there.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
I am primarily a writer, director, and producer. Because visuals and music are so intertwined within my mind when developing film and television projects, and because scores are one of my favorite parts of cinema, I additionally dabble in composing. (I’ve scored all of my own films so far, plus friends when asked!) Can I edit and serve as a cinematographer as well? Sure. But, I am far more into working with people, story, and aesthetic over the more technological aspects of filmmaking.
Starting with short films starring my little cousins and sketches with my sister nearly ten years ago, I’ve been a part of countless short films plus a pilot since. It’s been my mission to create more diverse and accessible LGBTQIA+ and mental health representation. I rarely see my asexual aromantic or neurodivergent identities accurately and authentically depicted. I strive to help provide that much-needed representation both in front of and behind the camera. Approaching every story, heart open and on my sleeve, I believe the best projects do the same. With my work, I allow these ideas to shine while drawing from my own experiences.
Past representation, I tend to work in dramedy/dark comedy and have a special place in my heart for the coming-of-age and grounded sci-fi genres. With those genres respectively, you get such a niche look into character development at a crucial age and in how characters interact with their environments. Children’s and/or YA content is a passion too. Having worked as a camp counselor and nanny for years, I’ve seen firsthand how media affects kids. It’s fun to write stories where the moral or message is much more explicit and know you are helping a younger feel validated and seen. Aesthetically, I love creating cohesive, specific worlds. Give me color, give me texture, give me joy!
What sets me apart is that I abide by the phrase “people first.” That applies to putting characters first in writing or directing and in thinking first of the people involved in the creative process. I’m most proud of my pilot, SEX SHOP, for that reason. Deep diving into character backstory and motivation with my actors and through a series bible was incredibly rewarding, as was crafting a respectful, enjoyable, and productive work environment where everyone felt safe and encouraged. The gratitude shared by cast, crew, and community members alike for the LGBTQIA+ and mental health representation meant the world. I have various pieces of media that have changed my life in one form or another, and it’s always been a dream to make something that could be on that list for others. I couldn’t believe how positively people responded to the project, and look forward to continuing that work in the future!
What matters most to you?
Respect. That’s probably the best word to sum up most things that deeply matter to me. Both the content I create and the way I go about creating it are inherently rooted in that ideal.
I see filmmaking as an act of service. When I write a story or step onto a set, I put myself completely out of the picture. I do everything in my power to make the creative process as positive and memorable as possible, from checking in with cast and crew members’ emotional state with a simple thumbs up or down to setting the energy level bar high with my attitude. (I’m never without an in-theme set outfit or a binder filled with the absurd amount of prep I’ve done to make sure things run smoothly!)
An eight-year-old boy once looked me dead in the eye and told me gay people don’t exist. I laughed a little since the kid was telling me, the queer person standing literally right in front of him, that queer people only exist on-screen, but he whole-heartedly believed they could be found only in GLEE which his parents allowed him to watch a few episodes of that weekend. I suppose I never saw queer characters in media until, ironically, I also watched GLEE at fourteen. I believe so strongly that film and television can change people’s understanding and perspective of the world because that show changed mine.
I didn’t understand how important it was to feel accurately and authentically represented on screen until I realized how little I saw myself. My desire to write, direct, and produce film and television stems from wanting to share stories that speak to people and make them feel seen and from creating a community of shared passion for a project along the way. It’s only a bonus that my younger self would feel seen as well if she knew where we made it to.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.sydneyrelihan.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sydr26/ https://www.instagram.com/sexshoppilot/ https://www.instagram.com/pawlywoodpawdcast/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sydney-relihan-588474237/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@darcyproductionco https://www.youtube.com/@pawlywoodpawdcast
- SoundCloud: https://open.spotify.com/artist/19YeLJ5Vt6jbbAG8FtEskQ?si=_smEg0s9QdSuYJN53w7kJg
- Other: https://www.sheauxtime.com https://thepawlywoodpawdcast.buzzsprout.com
Image Credits
Yoojin Jung, Crystal Navellier, Saif Leonardo Tariq Quraishi, Sydney Relihan
