Conversations with Suzannah Weiss

Today we’d like to introduce you to Suzannah Weiss

Hi Suzannah, can you start by introducing yourself? We’d love to learn more about how you got to where you are today?
Right before I went to college, I experienced a sexual awakening that helped me recover from an eating disorder. This, for me, sparked a fascination with how sexuality can both enforce patriarchy and liberate us from it. When I started school, I threw myself into studying gender and sexuality. My senior year, I worked as an editorial assistant for a feminist theory journal.

I took several jobs in journalism and marketing right after college, but it wasn’t until I began writing freelance articles about body positivity, relationships, and women’s empowerment that I found my stride. I began doing this full-time and soon accumulated publications in The Washington Post, The New York Times, and more, as well as part-time writing and editing positions at publications like Glamour and Teen Vogue.

I wanted to do more work with people rather than sitting behind a screen alone all day, so I got several sex educator certificates and, eventually, a masters degree in sexual health. I’m also about to finish up my masters in clinical psychology. I currently offer sex/love coaching and courses and am frequently interviewed by the media as a sexologist.

My first book, Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject, just came out. It details my search for sexual empowerment and adventures as a sex and relationship writer, as well as my vision for moving beyond the objectification of women. My struggle with an eating disorder was a result of feeling objectified, and that is why I am passionate about subjectifying women, as I call it: putting them in the subject role of more sentences and actions.

I’m currently training as a psychotherapist and working on my next book, Eve’s Blessing: A Woman’s Path From Pain to Pleasure, which challenges the cultural normalization of women’s pain and shows that women are capable of so much more pleasure than we get credit for. This is based on my personal experience of sexual empowerment and healing from chronic illness, and I also interviewed many inspiring women. Next on the horizon is a memoir that explores sexuality, religion, and psychedelics. I hope to write many more books in the future, including poetry and science fiction, and to work as a sex therapist.

Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
The biggest struggle I have faced over the course of my career has been chronic illness, including chronic Lyme disease and mold toxicity. I began experiencing health issues when I was just beginning to write and send out the proposal for Subjectified. These struggles really brought me to my knees, and I had to admit to myself that I needed to pause the project to focus on my well-being.

My experiences with chronic illness ultimately inspired my writing; there is a chapter in Subjectified about the objectification of women in medical settings and what true consent looks like in this context. Chronic illness is also a theme of Eve’s Blessing; I discuss how women’s health problems get brushed off by doctors, which is what happened to me. These issues are still present in my daily life. I wish they were not, but I tell myself there must be a very big, important book coming out of them. I know that the greater the obstacles life throws me, the greater the art I will create and service I will do as a result.

Another outcome of my struggles with Lyme, mold, and related issues has been my exposure to plant medicine and psychedelic therapy, which I also now write about. My work with psychedelics has led me to a place of authenticity and self-attunement as well as increased physical well-being. It has made me more of an artist as opposed to a reporter and has helped me see the connections between my work and broader themes, such as the spiritual themes in Eve’s Blessing. It has brought out my playful spirit and helped me live from my heart, which has allowed me to experience new forms of sexual expression.

When health problems rear their heads, I see this is a chance to dive deeper into my own psyche through my healing work and then share that healing with the rest of the world.

Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I am a feminist writer and sexologist. As I mentioned, I just published my first book Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject, which uses deeply personal stories to illustrate how language shapes the way we view sex and gender. It’s now available on Amazon as a paperback, hardcover, or ebook and on Audible as an audiobook.

I have published over 8800 articles in publications including The New York Times, The Washington Post, and New York Magazine. As a sex educator certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, I offer private coaching and courses on topics including vulva orgasms, childbirth and pleasure, and sexuality on the autism spectrum. I am also a sexual assault counselor and birth doula.

What sets me apart from others is my questioning of gender roles and other social norms. I very much dislike formulas, cliches, and “popular wisdom.” I like working with people for whom societal prescriptions like “play hard to get” or “be the woman in the relationship” don’t work. I support people in creating their own relationship values, philosophies, and policies because that’s what I’ve had to do as someone who doesn’t fit very many cultural conventions.

You can find my writing, courses, and coaching offerings at www.suzannahweiss.com. And you can order my book here: https://www.amazon.com/Subjectified-Becoming-Subject-Suzannah-Weiss/dp/150956019X/

What matters most to you?
A central value that shapes my work is autonomy — bodily autonomy and emotional autonomy. Women have been deprived of bodily autonomy in many ways in today’s world. Not just sexual autonomy, but the autonomy to give birth the way they wish, have their voices heard in healthcare contexts, eat what their bodies are asking them for, and otherwise attend to their needs. Restoring women’s bodily autonomy is the most important feminist aim right now in my opinion. Not just that, but their emotional autonomy: their ability to say for themselves who they are, what they like, what they want, and how their lives are best lived.

Consent and boundaries are major topics I teach about. However, I emphasize the role of desire over consent. Consent generally means being OK with something. And I do not want women to go through life having sex they’re just OK with. Or having any experience they’re just OK with dominate their reality. I want people of all genders to lead lives driven by their desire, not their acquiescence. I teach people that if something’s not a “hell yes,” it’s a no. And I help them find partners, experiences, and lives they’re a “hell yes” to.

Pricing:

• Subjectified paperback: $24.95
• Subjectified hardcover: $61.66
• Subjectified ebook: $15
• Subjectified audiobook: $15.30

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.suzannahweiss.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/weisssuzannah/
• Twitter: https://x.com/suzannahweiss
• Other: https://www.amazon.com/Subjectified-Becoming-Subject-Suzannah-Weiss/dp/150956019X/