Today we’d like to introduce you to Alexa Harris.
Hi Alexa, so excited to have you on the platform. So, before we get into questions about your work life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today.
2020 was a pivotal moment to do an assessment about where my life was headed. Up until that point, I only touched the surface of my healing work, unraveling childhood and teenage trauma, triggers, and the source of my anxiety. I thought the “hard work” was completed. By January 2021, big life questions began coming at me from all angles. What am I doing with my life? Am I really happy? Do I like the woman I am becoming? I examined all areas that needed attention but was unwilling to let go of a key component causing me depression. I was trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship. This person lied, cheated, and stole from me on multiple occasions, using gaslighting as a form of manipulation. With no boundaries in place, I had no idea how to escape.
My feelings of anger, resentment, and self-betrayal weighed on my psyche. Why am I holding on to this? Why am I so afraid of letting go of mistreatment? I was so ashamed, hiding the relationship from my friends and family and instead turning to journaling. Writing became an everyday ritual to ask for divine guidance. In April 2021, I connected with an aunt that I never met on my father’s side. We found each other on Instagram, and she sensed I was going through it. She had been through a similar situation and asked me to write a letter. She told me to read it to her when I was ready. I described the details of the relationship with the final line stating, “I am stuck in a loop.” This letter was a huge step, my first of many attempts to let go. I look back at that time as practice for the big moment to leave for good.
August 2021 arrives. I quit my job earlier in the year, moved back to my parent’s home, and entered into a shadow period that would ultimately change my life for the better. But it was not easy by any means. After all the stress and anger from this ongoing toxic situation, an infection appeared on my left breast. The doctors prescribed me various antibiotics, back-to-back, but the infection was antibiotic-resistant. They did not have a diagnosis for me. One night, I wrapped myself in my arms and sobbed hard. My body was signaling that it was exhausted. We (my body and I) could not continue life this way, constantly putting someone before our own needs, settling for less than we deserve. It was the first time I connected my emotional trauma to my physical body. 2022 arrives. Still stuck. Still in and out of toxicity. Still scared to let go. Body still infected. Depressed. After reading up on coping with emotional abuse, I decided to move forward with my exit plan on April 26th, 2022. It was my first time implementing the boundary and maintaining it. An exit plan allowed me to feel in control, a feeling I had not felt in such a long time.
By May 2022, the pain from the infection was so bad that I had to go to the emergency room on two different occasions. In June, I stayed in the hospital for seven days while the doctors tried to figure out a course of action. My prolonged infection formed into a painful cyst. I was able to see a breast specialist who agreed to do surgery in July, nearly a year after the initial infection. When the cyst was removed, I felt a huge emotional release. The cyst represented so much more than a procedure. It was a fresh, new start at life. A blockage that was begging to be removed. A breakthrough. Today, I have a 4-inch scar that serves as my daily reminder. To heal my nervous system. To prioritize peace. Finally, I am free.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
This breakthrough was not a smooth road because the toxic cycle extends beyond me. I am breaking down cycles that have lived for generations, on both sides of my family. The biggest struggle has been trusting my intuition. My intuition has been strong and powerful since I was a child. But I have also neglected signals and red flags when I did not want to face the truth. Calling on a higher power reactivated my connection to family that passed on. They communicate with me through vivid dreams and animals. For example, my paternal grandmother, Julia, visited me and I cried on her shoulder. When my ex tried to enter back into my life, my ancestors sent over a gopher snake while on one of my daily walks. At the hospital stay, an ancestor held my hand while I was sleeping. The dozens of doves that visit my backyard at dusk are reminders of peace. One of the most powerful dreams I experienced to date was an icy path with two tunnels, representing a decision I had to make to give myself a better life.
I have to keep reminding myself that I am never alone. There is a whole team working overtime to support and uplift me. And I do not have to figure things out on my own. Learning to ask for help has always been hard for me. I am, and always will be, a work in progress.
Can you tell our readers more about what you do and what you think sets you apart from others?
Professionally, I worked in non-profit, reentry, and education. Although I never felt truly fulfilled. I knew this was not my dream life. Throughout my time as a professional, I experimented with various forms of art and creativity. YouTube, photography, writing, poetry, storytelling. Two years ago, I wrote a book titled Crossroads. I have always returned back to writing and I am really proud of myself for putting my work out there. Quitting my job was finally admitting to myself that I was unhappy with my career path, and I needed to shake things up. I shared my truth recently on my YouTube channel as a way to start up that creative path again. I want to continue sharing my story. When I immediately think of a dream job, I think of my story as the vessel to helping others heal. Whether that is facilitation, storytelling, speaking engagements, writing another book, retreats, more articles, all the above really! I want to expand, cultivate new experiences, meet new people, and live the life I have dreamed of, previously stalled by fear and a limited mindset.
What sets me apart is my ability to share the process. I want folks to read my story and identify with the message. For me, that is the unique power of storytelling. To be able to connect with the community. I think what also sets me apart is having a rebellious spirit, having the courage to dig deep down into the root. To walk forward in a new direction, a road less traveled.
Is there any advice you’d like to share with our readers who might just be starting out?
This experience all began with the awareness, the intuition to have a conversation with self, and the desire to transform. When you lay awake at night or sit at your desk, I want you to daydream. Have a dialogue. Ask yourself those deep life questions. Dare to explore the answers. Dare to unravel. And dare to dream BIG. There is something really beautiful on the journey to our highest selves.
If you are having trouble getting started, I am here as a guide.
Contact Info:
- Instagram: @heyblaxicana
- Youtube: Youtube.com/Heyblaxicana
Image Credits
Crystal Milner
