An Inspired Chat with Robert Kandell

We’re looking forward to introducing you to Robert Kandell. Check out our conversation below.

Robert, so good to connect and we’re excited to share your story and insights with our audience. There’s a ton to learn from your story, but let’s start with a warm up before we get into the heart of the interview. Who are you learning from right now?
I had the good fortune to see Brené Brown at a conference in Las Vegas last month. She talked about her new book, Solid Ground. I am absorbing it and learning so much from her work. I’ve always been a fan, but this book SPEAKS to me in a way that the others didn’t. There are MANY favorite parts to this book, and the part that truly speaks to me is that she’s validating MY worth in the business world. She talks about how leaders need to be both analytical and relational. They need the ability to see patterns but also speak in a way that ignites impact rather than forces action.

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
My job title is “Fractional CFO,” and I’m blessed to have a docket full of interesting clients. What makes me unique is that I also have extensive training and experience as a Life and Relationship coach. This unusual marriage of these two sides (money and relationships) enables me to be a full-service provider in helping my clients reach their goals. It is not just about their financial reports and cash flow, but about their MINDSET around their business. I’m able to talk with all aspects of their humanity to help guide them on this very challenging journey called entrepreneurship.

My favorite Tony Robbins quote is: “The success of the business is based on the psychology of the owner.” I’ve seen this play out time and time again. When the owner is feeling expansive, the business tends to blossom. My role is to identify unconscious beliefs, childhood wounds, and other factors that limit success.

My greatest joy is when the work we do together impacts not just the business but their personal life.

Appreciate your sharing that. Let’s talk about your life, growing up and some of topics and learnings around that. What did you believe about yourself as a child that you no longer believe?
As a kid, I was a lover of all things carb-based and sugary. I was a child of the 1970s, where Wonder Bread was healthy and gluten was not part of the cultural discussion. I was also a child growing up in a dysfunctional home, where everything looked pristine from the outside, with a core that was anything but.

My inner “fat kid” lived as part of my psyche from my early days to my early 40s. Even though I lost the weight and was sometimes even unhealthy thin, I still would look at the mirror with disdain. My body dysmorphia directed my behaviors with the search for constant external validation. It led to a lot of unhealthy situations and toxic relationships. Through therapy and work with plant medicines, I was able to connect with this younger part of myself and fix the relationship.

Even now, in my mid-50s, even when I’m carrying some extra pounds in my mid-section, I am not letting that kid run the show. It’s been a huge change to how I perceive myself (first) and the world.

What’s something you changed your mind about after failing hard?
In 2014, I exited my company with a 7-figure payout. I ended up in Venice Beach with a fat bank account, total freedom, time to do anything, and a suitcase full of PTSD. To get to that payout, I had endured 12 years of extreme situations, putting myself in thousands of toxic moments where I acted out of integrity with myself and the world.

In those quiet days in my rented home, I was completely lost on how to fill my days. I was used to 80-hour weeks, non-stop travel, responsibility, and a constant stream of stimuli. I started to get itchy. When a new friend offered an opportunity to build a new company, I leapt without looking. I said YES because it seems challenging, fun, sexy, and exciting. I threw myself, my reputation, and a good portion of my payout into this new endeavor.

About six months in, I realized my mistake. I had not confronted the PTSD from my first business and had unconsciously recreated it all in the new business. Worse, I was trapped in a five-year lease. To make a long story short, I was able to exit the business after about 18 months, exhausted, embarrassed, and with a low six-figure amount less in my bank account.

After more therapy, I finally came to grips with the whole experience and saw that this “failure” was one of my life’s most important lessons. I talk about it openly with pride that I have both epic success and failure on my resume. It helps guide my current work and helps my clients avoid the mistakes I have made.

Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? What truths are so foundational in your life that you rarely articulate them?
After being in business for myself for three decades, there are only two rules that guide my business. They are (#1) “I will provide for my family” and (#2) “I will be entertained”.

The first rule is pretty straightforward. I have a strong awareness of my family’s expenses (i.e., “a lot”) and what I need to produce to support them. I will say NO to roles that may seem interesting if they interfere with rule #1.

The second rule is more in-depth and nuanced, and it requires constant vigilance to ensure my choices align with it. It’s important to note that “entertainment” includes the entire multiplex of options, including all the sensations that you may feel at your local theater. I say YES to excitement, pride, happiness, and joy, and also stress, fear, nervousness, humility, and scarcity. I want to experience all aspects of the spectrum.

About three years ago, I realized that I was working for a company where everything from the outside looked pristine. I was able to use all my skills, travel, attend huge workshops, and was well-paid. However, I realized that my values didn’t align with the owner’s. After several experiences of this misalignment, I gave my notice. While I miss the thrill of that gig, I have never questioned my need for my integrity.

Thank you so much for all of your openness so far. Maybe we can close with a future oriented question. Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?
Both my father and grandfather were successful CPAs, with my Dad being a partner in a successful New York accounting firm. I grew up watching him as he came home every night at dinner time, put down his keys, exhaled loudly, and poured himself a drink. This was how I saw what a man should look like every day. Work hard, have a drink, sit with the family for dinner. Rinse, repeat.

I wrote about the path I was supposed to take as a proper member of society in my first book, unHIDDEN. It basically said: do well in school, get a job to start your career, start saving for retirement, get a better job, produce progeny, save more, retire, and live a quiet life and die a quiet death. At 28, I was following the script. Then, I went to Burning Man and everything went totally askew. For the next 16 years, I spent all my inheritance, got disowned by my family, invested deeply in myself, started a company that became an eight-figure international operation, had the wildest of adventures, left my company at its peak, and exited at the right time. Whew.

My life has not been quiet, although at this point, it could be a quiet death.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.RobertKandell.com
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robertkandell/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@RobertKandellCFO

Image Credits
Photos by https://christopherbrownphoto.com/