We’re looking forward to introducing you to Helen Tootsi. Check out our conversation below.
Helen, it’s always a pleasure to learn from you and your journey. Let’s start with a bit of a warmup: When have you felt most loved—and did you believe you deserved it?
Ironically, it has never been at times when I feel as if I’m on the top of the world. It’s always been the times when I am at a complete opposite situation, struggling with my next step, have lost some of my self confidence, or when life has thrown a curveball of some sort in my direction. Close relationships have always been very important to me, be it romantic, friendships, with my family or colleagues. They are all unique in their own way. I try and nurture these relationships in my life, often not knowing if I am doing the right thing or not. At times when you are not the most appealing person out there, and may have lost a bit of your spark for whatever reason, you actually need the people close to you the most. I’m not saying they are not there when I celebrate, but it’s the people who show up in your life when you are raw. I often say that I am not sure what I have done in life to deserve all these people in my life, but I surely am happy they are in it. Life can be turbulent and we go through a lot. Every time a major life event has happened to me, whether I was going through a break up, career change, health challenge or just struggled with my self esteem and voice as a writer, my friends have been there for me. Offered me a home, stayed on the phone for hours, taken me to day hikes in the nature, or just played round of Yahtzee with me. I feel loved. In general I am not someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, but moments of sincere love and care always pull on my heart strings. I can only be grateful for these times and hope that there’s an opportunity sometime down the line, where I can repay that kindness and be there for my loved ones when they need it the most.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
I am a multiplatform writer with a very script like writing style. I’ve had time to hone my style for a long time, and have finally arrived at where I am today. As of recent, I am mostly focusing on articles and profile pieces in the art world and working on my next book about LA, its people and their stories.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: Who saw you clearly before you could see yourself?
There were two different people. I have always been a bookworm, ever since childhood. So I used to frequent the local library where I eventually earned somewhat of a VIP status. At least I’d like to think that haha! The librarian would start keeping new incoming books for me based on what she thought I’d be interested in, or should see. To this day, I still think back to those times fondly. She found my mind fascinating, and often shared she felt I was different. It always confused me, because when you’re a kid, you don’t want to be “different”, you just want to be normal. I never really asked her what she meant by it, but I do remember her telling my mum once that she believes stories and writing will come up at one point in my life. She was right! She saw the creative in me before I would even understand the concept of creating something myself. The other person was my late coursemate and a roommate from film school days. He was a brilliant writer! As we spent a lot of time living next to one another, witnessing the struggles of writing and reading one another’s work, he began to suggest that I should stop only writing for the desk drawers. At the time, I thought he was full of rubbish, wanted to make me feel better, but he was honest. I fought against it for a while but at one point I just decided to go for it and see what happens next. I have never looked back, and it’s the best “I told you so!” I have ever heard.
What’s something you changed your mind about after failing hard?
Things happen for a reason! Failure isn’t always a bad thing. It’s a valuable lesson you should learn from. Take agency in what you did, your approach, and get comfortable with the parts of yourself that scare you the most. The things you want to hide and hope nobody ever sees them. Analyze, be fair, but kind to yourself. Accept the truths that were revealed during that lesson. I mostly talk about creating something, either as a former director, or a writer. Sometimes when a project fails, it doesn’t mean it was all bad, it just means, it was not supposed to see daylight in the shape that it was initially planned. Life is all about lessons, that’s how we get better as people and artists. My mum always says that life will keep giving you the same lesson over and over again until you learn whatever it is that you’re supposed to. And then you move on. I’m sure many creatives like myself are afraid of failing. We all are! Who wouldn’t be? We want to be successful, do well. Failing is necessary, I don’t think people should fear it. I still sometimes falter in that, but I have learned that sometimes you need to fail in order to grow and be better at your craft.
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? How do you differentiate between fads and real foundational shifts?
This is such a great question! I think everyone should ask this from themselves and see what comes up.
Anything that’s real leaves an impact. Fads come and go, they may feel important at some point, but they’re not. You’ll move on fast, forget. Now, when the real foundational shifts happen, you feel them! You really feel them. It’s a full body experience: mind, body, energy. Everything! They shake you, make you uncomfortable, reveal pleasant and unpleasant truths, push to action and reject stagnation. Whenever something seemingly big happens in my life or around me, I take a beat and sit with it. How does this feel in my gut? I am very rational person and have mostly made calculated decisions my whole life. Aside from the few where I have just run with a gut feeling. Guess what?! The latter ones have been the best ones I have ever made! Foundational shifts change you. They teach you something, make you grow.
Okay, so let’s keep going with one more question that means a lot to us: If you laid down your name, role, and possessions—what would remain?
Me. The raw, unfiltered, true me. Hopefully a friend that others can count on, a sibling that shows up in ways only siblings can, someone who really loves life and living. Someone who tries to be authentic in everything I do whilst keeping in mind what truly matters to me. It’s not fame, money, success….although those can be nice and open doors. What I aspire to be every single day is a person who truly lives. And loves.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.helentootsi.com/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helentootsi/
Image Credits
Karel Polt, Estravel, Jürgen Pärnsalu
